Maybe I'm writing this just to reassure myself that I have no interest in publicity and even though I don't agree with people who are just worshipped by public or who has gathered some fans community herself, it is still their rights to do so.
I don't do things cause it was hip, or cause it was happening, or whatever. I do things if it challenges me, interests me, and I find beneficial. I don't brag about it cause what is the point?
I don't like to follow the crowd, just because I think that it is hip. But truthfully, those who sets a trend I think is incredible. They can bring people to follow their hobby even if I find it too much to share. Oh please, just to run, you have to buy new shoes (a couple really), buy new sets of clothes (I run with whatever I HAVE), you've got to have theme songs, you've got to participate in so many runs in a year (oh and btw, the runs aren't free).
It's just an example of the recent hip thing, Maybe people who do it in the end find it more beneficial but honestly, I don't like the hoo-hah on the start and process. I do run too, for different reasons, and I don't run for distance, or because it's hip or whatever. I run because it took my mind of things, and I felt fresher because of it. I have started way back before it was hip. I only ran like once or twice a week, when I needed a fresh air. I only ran one or two rounds the block because I found it had served its purpose. I have friends who run with a group, and they participate in competitions so many times, and they REALLY practiced runs. So this new hip thing, well they somehow run together. I so wonder how long this is gonna last.
I am not a social person I guess. I like meeting new people new friends, but following trends isn't really my style. I don't buy many expensive bags cos what is the point? I never say it wasn't tempting, I just found that I don't need them. I have 2 Kate Spade bags and I think they are good enough. Me and trends just don't go along I guess.
I found that I don't need to be anyone else to be accepted into society. I like being who I am, do things that I do for my own reasons and stay hidden in one corner.
Since a long time ago I have always lived my life for myself. So why bother to try so hard to live on something just to be accepted?
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Week 36 Going 37
Waktu melahirkan udah makin dekat nih. Selama2nya ya 3mingguan lagi ya. Eyke masih ngantor sih. Mulai minggu kemarin kontraksi Braxton Hicksnya makin kenceng. Masih irregular, tapi udh mulai sakit. Mules gitu juga kadang-kadang dateng, kadang kaya kram perut. Lagi tidur pun berasa sakit. Tp menurut gw sakitnya masih bearable dan irregular jd ga dianggap serius.
Hari Jumat lalu cek up dicek CTG kontraksi masih irregular, belum ada bukaan juga, dan bayi baru halfway down, belum fully engaged.
Hari Jumat lalu cek up dicek CTG kontraksi masih irregular, belum ada bukaan juga, dan bayi baru halfway down, belum fully engaged.
I Have Delivered a Baby Girl!!!
My last post was on 35weeks. Now I'm supposed to still be on my 39+ weeks, it's just that I have delivered 5 days ago.
It was a bit unexpected, because it was really early for me. Last time I delivered late, 40+4days, this time round I delivered on 38+4days.
On my 38weeks check up the gynae said I was 3cm dilated. BUT, during Asha times I was 2cm dilated for DAYS. So I wasn't really expecting much. But last time I was 2cm dilated on my 40weeks itself, so I thought this one might be slightly earlier. So she gave me hospitalization leave so I can wait quietly at home.
On the next day I felt slightly painful regular contractions and flowing fresh blod perhaps due to the internal examinations the gynae performed yesterday. So I went back to see the gynae, she said still no progress and told me to go home and monitor. It was on a Friday. So I thought oh well, might as well go for some walks, get some good food, because in the next 1 month I won't be going anywhere without breastfeeding. Two nights went by, and no signs of strengthening contractions.
On Saturday, was my chiropractic appointment. My bloody plug came off in the morning. But that was it. No increase on contractions, it was just the usual irregular painful contractions. So I went there, did some adjustments, and went home.
On Sunday morning I decided to pray, because there were no more blood coming out. After prayer, I laid down for a while and felt like I peed on my pants. I went to the toilet, empty my bladder. But my panties were still wet. Everytime contraction came fluids came out. Water bag broke? I was pretty sure I didn't pee so I called Bram who was out for jogging and immediately went to hospital.
The delivery wards were all occupied but ONE. So they sent me in there. As usual, only the stand by doctors were there and they were all very young. The doctor checked to see if it was really waterbag and not piss, and IT WAS my waterbag! They checked baby's position and they said she was still very high up and the cervix was still long and tight (whatever that means). They literally shoved their hands in (two doctors had to check because apparently the other one's hands couldn't reach my cervix location). After that they checked contractions. Not much. Pain scale? I said 4-5.
They called my gynae to ask am I to be induced. After they got a go at it they induced me with a tablet. It was put inside the vagina and I wasn't to move for an hour to ensure that it went all the way in. They let me wait for 2 hours in the delivery ward for contractions, and said if there was still nothing they'll send me up to the ward to wait for contractions come. They put the tablet in at 10am. An hour went by, 1.5 hours, and it was time for lunch. They took off all CTG's, everything. Bram said I was having contractions every 2-3minutes but I could still take it. So I had my lunch and still joke around. After lunch THEN i felt the contractions. As usual it started out as more painful, then stronger, then all hell broke loose. Actually it was manageable, but I was shivering after each contraction and I was tired of breathing out the pain. One hour after contractions start, around 1pm, I begged for epidural.
I felt like it was taking forever for the doctor to come in and checked my opening. The doctor came in and I was 4cm dilated 80% effaced. And he said, "we better give her the epidural now before she's fully dilated." I was actually a bit pessimistic that it would be so fast. He did say when I first came in second time mothers most of the time can dilate full in no time.
A few minutes later (which felt like forever by the way) the anesthesist came, had me sign some papers, and (finally) injected me with the epidural and I felt INSTANT RELIEF! I am so sorry drug-free-natural-birth!! I tried my breathing, and everything I know and I thought God knows how long this would last!!! I only survived 1 hour of pain without no painkillers at all T___T. But I'm proud to say, I didn't scream, didn't pull my husband's hair, I was a lady in there with my breathing (which only lasted an hour).
After that the midwife came, her name was Judith and she was AWESOME mind you. Like half an hour after epidural was injected, she put cateter on me, prepared everything for delivery. Then she checked me and I was fully dilated! Just need to wait for baby to descend and of course doctor to come. I was shocked. It was super fast. No wonder the stand by doctor insisted to give me epidural right away.On the other hand maybe if I was a bit stronger and more patient I could avoid the epidural.
Just my luck, my baby decided to come out on the FIRST day of my gynae planned leave. So another doctor took over for her. Since she has treated me before I'm quite comfortable handled by her.
Anyway, this time round the epidural dose was not as strong as my first delivery. This time the dosage was just nice so I could still feel the tightening, contractions, and some cramps which I could still handle. The anesthesist said they want to keep it at 3-4 pain level.
So the midwife was the one who guided me thru the initial pushing part. She did it in such a way that I managed to push without pushing too hard. She told me to push in a position that the baby would be able to slide out. She was really calming and she made me feel very relaxed.
After a few pushes she crowned and Judith asked, "do you want to touch her head? It's a preview" I said, "No, I'll wait till she comes out wholly" :D. We waited for the doctor to come and I pushed her out. It was so smooth and easy and I wasn't stressed at all. The most amazing thing that I didn't feel during my first delivery was delivering the baby. This time I could feel everything, when she crowned, when she slid, when she came out fully. I didn't have episiotomy to Judith's guides on how-to-slide-the-baby-out. I only have some slight tear and some bruises. Which the doctor sewed back in no time. The doctor said I made way for a 3.5kg baby previously so if this one was smaller it's not a wonder that it came out smoothly.
By the way, point to note, for both deliveries I experienced some heavy bleeding after baby and placenta were out. I didn't realize it was not normal, cos the first time round my gynae did not really mention it as something serious to me. But I remembered she was also a bit concerned about it. The doctor told me to mention it before delivery if there was another one coming in the future.
She was 3105g 48cm at birth. We named her Aura Diandra Adiratna.. In short, we call her Rana, and she was beautiful...
Alhamdulillah this time round my birth experience was a very good memorable one. If I were to have a third one, one couldn't help but wish it to be at least this memorable.
It was a bit unexpected, because it was really early for me. Last time I delivered late, 40+4days, this time round I delivered on 38+4days.
On my 38weeks check up the gynae said I was 3cm dilated. BUT, during Asha times I was 2cm dilated for DAYS. So I wasn't really expecting much. But last time I was 2cm dilated on my 40weeks itself, so I thought this one might be slightly earlier. So she gave me hospitalization leave so I can wait quietly at home.
On the next day I felt slightly painful regular contractions and flowing fresh blod perhaps due to the internal examinations the gynae performed yesterday. So I went back to see the gynae, she said still no progress and told me to go home and monitor. It was on a Friday. So I thought oh well, might as well go for some walks, get some good food, because in the next 1 month I won't be going anywhere without breastfeeding. Two nights went by, and no signs of strengthening contractions.
On Saturday, was my chiropractic appointment. My bloody plug came off in the morning. But that was it. No increase on contractions, it was just the usual irregular painful contractions. So I went there, did some adjustments, and went home.
On Sunday morning I decided to pray, because there were no more blood coming out. After prayer, I laid down for a while and felt like I peed on my pants. I went to the toilet, empty my bladder. But my panties were still wet. Everytime contraction came fluids came out. Water bag broke? I was pretty sure I didn't pee so I called Bram who was out for jogging and immediately went to hospital.
The delivery wards were all occupied but ONE. So they sent me in there. As usual, only the stand by doctors were there and they were all very young. The doctor checked to see if it was really waterbag and not piss, and IT WAS my waterbag! They checked baby's position and they said she was still very high up and the cervix was still long and tight (whatever that means). They literally shoved their hands in (two doctors had to check because apparently the other one's hands couldn't reach my cervix location). After that they checked contractions. Not much. Pain scale? I said 4-5.
They called my gynae to ask am I to be induced. After they got a go at it they induced me with a tablet. It was put inside the vagina and I wasn't to move for an hour to ensure that it went all the way in. They let me wait for 2 hours in the delivery ward for contractions, and said if there was still nothing they'll send me up to the ward to wait for contractions come. They put the tablet in at 10am. An hour went by, 1.5 hours, and it was time for lunch. They took off all CTG's, everything. Bram said I was having contractions every 2-3minutes but I could still take it. So I had my lunch and still joke around. After lunch THEN i felt the contractions. As usual it started out as more painful, then stronger, then all hell broke loose. Actually it was manageable, but I was shivering after each contraction and I was tired of breathing out the pain. One hour after contractions start, around 1pm, I begged for epidural.
I felt like it was taking forever for the doctor to come in and checked my opening. The doctor came in and I was 4cm dilated 80% effaced. And he said, "we better give her the epidural now before she's fully dilated." I was actually a bit pessimistic that it would be so fast. He did say when I first came in second time mothers most of the time can dilate full in no time.
A few minutes later (which felt like forever by the way) the anesthesist came, had me sign some papers, and (finally) injected me with the epidural and I felt INSTANT RELIEF! I am so sorry drug-free-natural-birth!! I tried my breathing, and everything I know and I thought God knows how long this would last!!! I only survived 1 hour of pain without no painkillers at all T___T. But I'm proud to say, I didn't scream, didn't pull my husband's hair, I was a lady in there with my breathing (which only lasted an hour).
After that the midwife came, her name was Judith and she was AWESOME mind you. Like half an hour after epidural was injected, she put cateter on me, prepared everything for delivery. Then she checked me and I was fully dilated! Just need to wait for baby to descend and of course doctor to come. I was shocked. It was super fast. No wonder the stand by doctor insisted to give me epidural right away.On the other hand maybe if I was a bit stronger and more patient I could avoid the epidural.
Just my luck, my baby decided to come out on the FIRST day of my gynae planned leave. So another doctor took over for her. Since she has treated me before I'm quite comfortable handled by her.
Anyway, this time round the epidural dose was not as strong as my first delivery. This time the dosage was just nice so I could still feel the tightening, contractions, and some cramps which I could still handle. The anesthesist said they want to keep it at 3-4 pain level.
So the midwife was the one who guided me thru the initial pushing part. She did it in such a way that I managed to push without pushing too hard. She told me to push in a position that the baby would be able to slide out. She was really calming and she made me feel very relaxed.
After a few pushes she crowned and Judith asked, "do you want to touch her head? It's a preview" I said, "No, I'll wait till she comes out wholly" :D. We waited for the doctor to come and I pushed her out. It was so smooth and easy and I wasn't stressed at all. The most amazing thing that I didn't feel during my first delivery was delivering the baby. This time I could feel everything, when she crowned, when she slid, when she came out fully. I didn't have episiotomy to Judith's guides on how-to-slide-the-baby-out. I only have some slight tear and some bruises. Which the doctor sewed back in no time. The doctor said I made way for a 3.5kg baby previously so if this one was smaller it's not a wonder that it came out smoothly.
By the way, point to note, for both deliveries I experienced some heavy bleeding after baby and placenta were out. I didn't realize it was not normal, cos the first time round my gynae did not really mention it as something serious to me. But I remembered she was also a bit concerned about it. The doctor told me to mention it before delivery if there was another one coming in the future.
She was 3105g 48cm at birth. We named her Aura Diandra Adiratna.. In short, we call her Rana, and she was beautiful...
Alhamdulillah this time round my birth experience was a very good memorable one. If I were to have a third one, one couldn't help but wish it to be at least this memorable.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
34 weeks going 35
Last week I caught horrendous flu. It lasted for a week and I had to miss work for a week. On wednesday I tried to come to work and found myself feeling awful for the whole day. So I decided to stay home on Thursday. Friday happened to be my day of appointment with gynae so I decided to just ask her for sick leave on Thursday as well.
So I went for my bi-weekly check up on Friday. I told her about my pelvic pressure, my flu, etc. She just came back from long leave so she looked very busy. She did a quick check up to check whether baby had engaged or not and turned out she wasn't. I was like... Thank God!! Now I'm a bit more confident to carry her til full term. I complained that I felt she was hanging very low, and the gynae agreed. But maybe actually she's not that low yet.
So far everything was fine. Blood pressure normal ( a bit low), movement wise I can say okay, she didn't measure my tummy diameter btw, maybe forgot to. Heartbeat fine.
From my side, my tummy has gotten alot bigger. I think she's not as low as I thought cos I still keep having heartburn and occasional short of breath. She's only hanging lower when I walked as I can feel her weight more on my pelvis. My hemorrhoid has gotten bigger and keeps coming out. So far no bleeding when I pass motion, so that's a good sign.
My pelvis on the other hand is just unstable. Sometimes it's painful sometimes it's not. It keeps on moving here and there I feel that after a long day of walk it just stiffened and I need at least 2 days of good nights sleep to relax it back.
Other than those uncomfortable pain and heavy tummy everything else is just fine. At least if in one of the near future days I have bleeding or spotting I am more relaxed cos she is ready to be born.
5 more weeks to go to 40weeks!! (Hopefully this one will be born earlier *cross fingers*)
So I went for my bi-weekly check up on Friday. I told her about my pelvic pressure, my flu, etc. She just came back from long leave so she looked very busy. She did a quick check up to check whether baby had engaged or not and turned out she wasn't. I was like... Thank God!! Now I'm a bit more confident to carry her til full term. I complained that I felt she was hanging very low, and the gynae agreed. But maybe actually she's not that low yet.
So far everything was fine. Blood pressure normal ( a bit low), movement wise I can say okay, she didn't measure my tummy diameter btw, maybe forgot to. Heartbeat fine.
From my side, my tummy has gotten alot bigger. I think she's not as low as I thought cos I still keep having heartburn and occasional short of breath. She's only hanging lower when I walked as I can feel her weight more on my pelvis. My hemorrhoid has gotten bigger and keeps coming out. So far no bleeding when I pass motion, so that's a good sign.
My pelvis on the other hand is just unstable. Sometimes it's painful sometimes it's not. It keeps on moving here and there I feel that after a long day of walk it just stiffened and I need at least 2 days of good nights sleep to relax it back.
Other than those uncomfortable pain and heavy tummy everything else is just fine. At least if in one of the near future days I have bleeding or spotting I am more relaxed cos she is ready to be born.
5 more weeks to go to 40weeks!! (Hopefully this one will be born earlier *cross fingers*)
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
My Husband
My husband is one of a kind. Sometimes I don't understand his reasonings for doing this and that. Sometimes he does things that is not in his scope, he got scolded for things he didn't do, he willingly takes over job scopes when the person who's supposed to do it came back late.
Sometimes I think that he's one of the reason why we live the way we are now. Sometimes I keep counting my blessings which money can't buy. We can't afford too many things, our salary is just enough for us to save up for things that we need, we don't spend lavishly but we still live comfortably. Ever since I was young I never wished for extraordinary things. I never wished for a super rich husband, life's luxuries. I've only wished that Allah gives me enough to live comfortably, no more no less. As for a husband, I only wished for someone who would understand me and be my friend through ups and downs.
Believe it or not, that's what I get. I don't want extraordinary things because ever since I was young I was always scared of too much responsibility. I've seen what too much money, ambition, achievement can do to a person. If I can choose, I choose not to have so much.
My husband is a very low profile person. He doesn't show off which sometimes amaze me and in other times irritate me. The bosses don't recognize him but I though what the hell, if they can't appreciate him, something better should be waiting for him on the other corner. He does have his weaknesses, but he too has his strong points.
Maybe being humble and keeping low profile doesn't give you big bucks but Allah prefers such a person. What better rewards can there be?
Sometimes I think that he's one of the reason why we live the way we are now. Sometimes I keep counting my blessings which money can't buy. We can't afford too many things, our salary is just enough for us to save up for things that we need, we don't spend lavishly but we still live comfortably. Ever since I was young I never wished for extraordinary things. I never wished for a super rich husband, life's luxuries. I've only wished that Allah gives me enough to live comfortably, no more no less. As for a husband, I only wished for someone who would understand me and be my friend through ups and downs.
Believe it or not, that's what I get. I don't want extraordinary things because ever since I was young I was always scared of too much responsibility. I've seen what too much money, ambition, achievement can do to a person. If I can choose, I choose not to have so much.
My husband is a very low profile person. He doesn't show off which sometimes amaze me and in other times irritate me. The bosses don't recognize him but I though what the hell, if they can't appreciate him, something better should be waiting for him on the other corner. He does have his weaknesses, but he too has his strong points.
Maybe being humble and keeping low profile doesn't give you big bucks but Allah prefers such a person. What better rewards can there be?
32 weeks going 33.
Sheesh at this time I feel huge, slow, and heavy! And still got 7 more weeks to go!!!!
Baby update:
- I went for growth scann on Friday. Alhamdulillah she's fine and healthy. She weighs 1.9kg. Measurement wise I think almost the same as Asha last time. Her growth is within 40-50% percentile. InsyaAllah she'll be fine until the day I see her.
- I have started to track movements. 10 movement within a day. So far she moves more when I woke up in the morning, lunchtime, and during night time. Other than that she moves sporadically throughout the day.
My update:
- Baby's fine but I am not. She's taking up most of my very limited tummy space making it hard for me to breathe and eat. Hopefully by 36-37wk she'll drop down eventually so I can enjoy my last few days of eating with no baby yet.
- Pelvic pain wise MUCH better. ALhamdulillah after 5 sessions of chiropractic it paid off. I still have slight pain but not as bad as I started out seeing chiropractors. Maybe it'll take another few sessions to completely take the pain off. Even if it doesn't I'm happy enough.
- Now I am struggling with occasional pain when I walk. It feels like when I walk she's sitting and pressing on my nerve when she moves. I remember last time it only started after 36weeks.
I really wish this one will end sooner. I must gather up all my strength to continue til she decides to come out.
Baby update:
- I went for growth scann on Friday. Alhamdulillah she's fine and healthy. She weighs 1.9kg. Measurement wise I think almost the same as Asha last time. Her growth is within 40-50% percentile. InsyaAllah she'll be fine until the day I see her.
- I have started to track movements. 10 movement within a day. So far she moves more when I woke up in the morning, lunchtime, and during night time. Other than that she moves sporadically throughout the day.
My update:
- Baby's fine but I am not. She's taking up most of my very limited tummy space making it hard for me to breathe and eat. Hopefully by 36-37wk she'll drop down eventually so I can enjoy my last few days of eating with no baby yet.
- Pelvic pain wise MUCH better. ALhamdulillah after 5 sessions of chiropractic it paid off. I still have slight pain but not as bad as I started out seeing chiropractors. Maybe it'll take another few sessions to completely take the pain off. Even if it doesn't I'm happy enough.
- Now I am struggling with occasional pain when I walk. It feels like when I walk she's sitting and pressing on my nerve when she moves. I remember last time it only started after 36weeks.
I really wish this one will end sooner. I must gather up all my strength to continue til she decides to come out.
Monday, October 1, 2012
This Is Just A Story
I have a friend. I'm not very close to her, but she's a very polite nice person. Some of my close friends are close with her so I know her more thru stories. That's why I don't judge. I am just telling a story.
She is a mother of 2 kids. The eldest is a boy, 6 yo, the youngest is a girl, turning 3 this year. She is a very dedicated mother, very kind, patient. She is smart, pretty, a great cook, a great mom, a wonderful wife. She can do all household things, sewing, cooking, driving, anything! She's such a supermom.
Her husband is born smart, successful in all his careers, dedicated to his work, and very good socially. He is helpful and has many talents. Everyone spoke highly of him.
They are a typical Javanese family. Husband goes out and makes money, wife stay home and takes care of kids. Husband makes all the decisions and wife follows. I heard stories, and I concluded that he doesn't respect her. The way he speaks to her is like talking to a helper/maid. Just someone to take care of his house and kids. She does everything related to house herself without a single help from her husband. Husband goes out to do this and that, go for late gathering etc. Wife needs to have a week in advance permission just to hang out with friends.
The husband DOES NOT LIKE peanut. Just because his mom banned peanut from the house. He banned EVERYONE in the house to eat peanut. Wife likes peanuts and has to go behind his back just to get one. Wife likes this and that but because husband doesn't like it she let it go.
When they are moving out husband still goes to work, went for gathering, busy for all farewells. Wife? She packs all their things by herself while still manages her kids AND cooks. And when husband comes home, she got scolded because it's not done yet.
When her kid cries while she is cooking or whatever, the husband calls and tells her to calm the kid down while the kid is just next to him.
When her kid falls or hurts herself she gets blamed for not looking after the kids.
When her cooking taste not as good as usual, husband said even kids master chef can cook better.
Now from her stories, the eldest is beginning to be act like dad towards mom. When mom makes her a seat cover to save money, son grumps and said, "Mom, later! I'm embarrassed to put it on." When mom converse with her friend's mom, son said, "My mom's English is not very good so I need to correct her every now and then"
I don't judge and I can't say pity for such families too. Cos I too was born in almost the same environment. I became what I am today because I don't agree with such situations. If I was not rebellious enough maybe I'll turn out the same.
I used to look down on my mom because she was sick and my dad belittle her most of the time. So it makes me think my mom is what my dad always says. I can only say that the difference is, my dad took care of us most of the time cos my mom is not functioning. He stuck thru my mom's side thruout her sickness and even he said nasty things he is still there. So he is NOT a spoiled selfish husband.
The similarities that our families share are our traditional Javanese families heritage. Where dads work moms stay home with kids. My dad actually wanted my mom to do things, but my mom became so depressed being away from her family and not doing things that she used to do cos dad moves to the suburbs. PLUS my dad has a very sharp nasty tongue which I think hurts my mom's feelings a lot. My dad scolds my mom alot, to the point that all of us became scared of making mistakes. Dad is boss and his words are absolute. But my parents are still married til now, we grew up as we're supposed to and I accept that I live in such family even tho I don't fully agree with it.
I just wish my friend can be happy with her situations, or at least accept it. I know words can be so painful, and you get hurt by it but I also know we'll get by it. I used to dread for the day I can get out of the house and not see my dad everyday. I couldn't stand his absolute authority. But I couldn't imagine being my mom who has to live with him for the rest of her life. Even so, now I know that through time, we learn to accept our situation. I just wish that until that day comes, my friend can still hang in there.
I couldn't judge it a bad marriage, because everyone doesn't want a divorce. No matter how bad it looks, we need to find some good in it. I too in the end could see good in my dad even tho his words are still more or less absolute and he's still nasty.
The points that I note that is how you treat your spouse will be looked upon by your kids. If you treat them with respect, your kids will respect them too and they too will respect their own once they have one. The balance of your family will determine how your child grows up one day. I too felt some effects on me as I reflect back on my past. No one is perfect, but try to be a good one wouldn't do any harm.
I am so blessed that Allah gives me a husband who is a total opposite of my dad. Maybe this is my blessing and my test too. Last time I always asked for someone who is so unlike my dad, and that is what I get. Even so, I still complain every now and then how he is not like this and that too much this and that. Sometimes it took a slap in the face to truly appreciate what you have.
She is a mother of 2 kids. The eldest is a boy, 6 yo, the youngest is a girl, turning 3 this year. She is a very dedicated mother, very kind, patient. She is smart, pretty, a great cook, a great mom, a wonderful wife. She can do all household things, sewing, cooking, driving, anything! She's such a supermom.
Her husband is born smart, successful in all his careers, dedicated to his work, and very good socially. He is helpful and has many talents. Everyone spoke highly of him.
They are a typical Javanese family. Husband goes out and makes money, wife stay home and takes care of kids. Husband makes all the decisions and wife follows. I heard stories, and I concluded that he doesn't respect her. The way he speaks to her is like talking to a helper/maid. Just someone to take care of his house and kids. She does everything related to house herself without a single help from her husband. Husband goes out to do this and that, go for late gathering etc. Wife needs to have a week in advance permission just to hang out with friends.
The husband DOES NOT LIKE peanut. Just because his mom banned peanut from the house. He banned EVERYONE in the house to eat peanut. Wife likes peanuts and has to go behind his back just to get one. Wife likes this and that but because husband doesn't like it she let it go.
When they are moving out husband still goes to work, went for gathering, busy for all farewells. Wife? She packs all their things by herself while still manages her kids AND cooks. And when husband comes home, she got scolded because it's not done yet.
When her kid cries while she is cooking or whatever, the husband calls and tells her to calm the kid down while the kid is just next to him.
When her kid falls or hurts herself she gets blamed for not looking after the kids.
When her cooking taste not as good as usual, husband said even kids master chef can cook better.
Now from her stories, the eldest is beginning to be act like dad towards mom. When mom makes her a seat cover to save money, son grumps and said, "Mom, later! I'm embarrassed to put it on." When mom converse with her friend's mom, son said, "My mom's English is not very good so I need to correct her every now and then"
I don't judge and I can't say pity for such families too. Cos I too was born in almost the same environment. I became what I am today because I don't agree with such situations. If I was not rebellious enough maybe I'll turn out the same.
I used to look down on my mom because she was sick and my dad belittle her most of the time. So it makes me think my mom is what my dad always says. I can only say that the difference is, my dad took care of us most of the time cos my mom is not functioning. He stuck thru my mom's side thruout her sickness and even he said nasty things he is still there. So he is NOT a spoiled selfish husband.
The similarities that our families share are our traditional Javanese families heritage. Where dads work moms stay home with kids. My dad actually wanted my mom to do things, but my mom became so depressed being away from her family and not doing things that she used to do cos dad moves to the suburbs. PLUS my dad has a very sharp nasty tongue which I think hurts my mom's feelings a lot. My dad scolds my mom alot, to the point that all of us became scared of making mistakes. Dad is boss and his words are absolute. But my parents are still married til now, we grew up as we're supposed to and I accept that I live in such family even tho I don't fully agree with it.
I just wish my friend can be happy with her situations, or at least accept it. I know words can be so painful, and you get hurt by it but I also know we'll get by it. I used to dread for the day I can get out of the house and not see my dad everyday. I couldn't stand his absolute authority. But I couldn't imagine being my mom who has to live with him for the rest of her life. Even so, now I know that through time, we learn to accept our situation. I just wish that until that day comes, my friend can still hang in there.
I couldn't judge it a bad marriage, because everyone doesn't want a divorce. No matter how bad it looks, we need to find some good in it. I too in the end could see good in my dad even tho his words are still more or less absolute and he's still nasty.
The points that I note that is how you treat your spouse will be looked upon by your kids. If you treat them with respect, your kids will respect them too and they too will respect their own once they have one. The balance of your family will determine how your child grows up one day. I too felt some effects on me as I reflect back on my past. No one is perfect, but try to be a good one wouldn't do any harm.
I am so blessed that Allah gives me a husband who is a total opposite of my dad. Maybe this is my blessing and my test too. Last time I always asked for someone who is so unlike my dad, and that is what I get. Even so, I still complain every now and then how he is not like this and that too much this and that. Sometimes it took a slap in the face to truly appreciate what you have.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Chiropractic Second Visit
I came in again the next day. In the morning I can feel that it's not as stiff as before but the pelvic pain is still really bad. So I bear with it for the whole day til I see the doc.
As I got there I complained about it and she did my normal adjustment while checking for it too. Turns out my front right pelvis bone is more forward than the left. Making the bones keep on brushing against each other, and it becomes sore. Which is why my vagina became swollen, because of the irritation caused by sore bones. Geez.
So she did the same routine as yesterday, doing the same adjustments PLUS knock (literally) my pelvis back into place. After that I felt so much better! I got instant relief. I did ask her a few questions, such as:
Q: Why after adjustments as I woke up in the morning it felt awful again, did the pelvis go back to its original place?
A: It is possible. When you are pregnant your body is super loosen up so everything can go back in a very short while. Normal people might take more than 48hours, but for you it can go back within 24-48hours. That is why when we want to see you more in the first 4weeks to make sure that your body is used to your new adjustments, and not forcing it to go back the way it was. (I didn't know my body could do that)
A: It is possible. When you are pregnant your body is super loosen up so everything can go back in a very short while. Normal people might take more than 48hours, but for you it can go back within 24-48hours. That is why when we want to see you more in the first 4weeks to make sure that your body is used to your new adjustments, and not forcing it to go back the way it was. (I didn't know my body could do that)
Q: Will this chiropractic help in my labor as well?
A: Yes, we actually help to give more room for the baby to go in by helping to make sure that the pelvic bone is sitting properly, balanced, and able to support thru pregnancy and birthing
Q: Will this actually go away or do I need to live with some degree of pain til the end?
A: Of course, that's our aim. Slowly the pain will lessen and you will be left with a balance pelvic bone. This complaint is common, but it's not normal. This is supposed to be happy times for you, why do you need to be in so much pain?
I understand as a mother we need to make some sacrifices, faced with some hardships and unhappiness, pain and everything looks like something that mothers need to bear to be blessed. But I also find that as a mother, we are also entitled to efforts to make things better and easier without abandoning our responsibilities. If you just give up, there'll never be an answer. If you have tried to no avail, at least you tried. I refused to give up to the phrase, bear with it. If there is a way to lessen it, I'll try.
Chiropractic First Visit
What's a chiropractic? Chiropractic is a health care profession concerned with the diagnosis, treatment and prevention of disorders of the neuromusculoskeletalsystem and the effects of these disorders on general health -wikipedia.
In short, it deals with spinal positioning and subluxations. In simple understanding, it's a practice to fix your spinal and bone systems that support your body, and therefore letting go of squeezed, pulled, or stuck tissues and muscles. It turns out that when your spine or bone is not in its supposed place it will in turn pull the muscles going thru it.
Why am I talking about it? Because for the past month I've been suffering from pelvic pain. It's not severe, it's just painful and uncomfortable. Especially when I turn in bed, when I got out of my office chair after sitting for a few hours, when I first walk out of bed, after long walking hours. But after I walk for sometime, it feels better tho still somewhat painful. My doctor told me to bear with it, my friends told me to bear with it, they told me it's one of pregnancy common complaints. It is maybe so, but I still browsed and googled if there is some way to make it more bearable. Then I found some western forums and discussions regarding this. It turns out however common it is, it is not normal. It's true that in most cases it only happens during pregnancy but in some rare cases, it still continues until postbirth, even a lifetime. In some severe rare cases you can be decapitated for life. I don't want to think negative, but if it can turn out serious, means it IS abnormal.
So therefore I started browsing for the solution, and I found the word chiropractic all over. I didn't really understand how they could help with it since it's a bone problem. But I still tried to browse for chiropractors in Singapore who are experienced with pregnant ladies. Stumbled upon a few general chiropractors, but I am more interested in one. They are called Asia chiropractic. I called them up and made appointment for the next day.
First time I came, they introduced me to what chiropractic is. Then the doctor (both doctors and the staffs are all females btw) checked my spines, my pelvic bones, how they are sitting, are they sitting properly to support all my weight plus extra weight. Turns out my right pelvic bone at the back is sitting higher than the left side. She said it's pulling all my tissues and muscles especially the front left side. Then she gently adjusted my back pelvic bone, massage my tissues and muscles so it's not so stiff anymore. She even gently massaged the ligaments connected to my stomach cos that too is being pulled. She said they can even help to correct breech baby, help to ease the way out for baby for easier delivery.
After first visit, I feel slightly better, not as stiff as the first time I came.
In short, it deals with spinal positioning and subluxations. In simple understanding, it's a practice to fix your spinal and bone systems that support your body, and therefore letting go of squeezed, pulled, or stuck tissues and muscles. It turns out that when your spine or bone is not in its supposed place it will in turn pull the muscles going thru it.
Why am I talking about it? Because for the past month I've been suffering from pelvic pain. It's not severe, it's just painful and uncomfortable. Especially when I turn in bed, when I got out of my office chair after sitting for a few hours, when I first walk out of bed, after long walking hours. But after I walk for sometime, it feels better tho still somewhat painful. My doctor told me to bear with it, my friends told me to bear with it, they told me it's one of pregnancy common complaints. It is maybe so, but I still browsed and googled if there is some way to make it more bearable. Then I found some western forums and discussions regarding this. It turns out however common it is, it is not normal. It's true that in most cases it only happens during pregnancy but in some rare cases, it still continues until postbirth, even a lifetime. In some severe rare cases you can be decapitated for life. I don't want to think negative, but if it can turn out serious, means it IS abnormal.
So therefore I started browsing for the solution, and I found the word chiropractic all over. I didn't really understand how they could help with it since it's a bone problem. But I still tried to browse for chiropractors in Singapore who are experienced with pregnant ladies. Stumbled upon a few general chiropractors, but I am more interested in one. They are called Asia chiropractic. I called them up and made appointment for the next day.
First time I came, they introduced me to what chiropractic is. Then the doctor (both doctors and the staffs are all females btw) checked my spines, my pelvic bones, how they are sitting, are they sitting properly to support all my weight plus extra weight. Turns out my right pelvic bone at the back is sitting higher than the left side. She said it's pulling all my tissues and muscles especially the front left side. Then she gently adjusted my back pelvic bone, massage my tissues and muscles so it's not so stiff anymore. She even gently massaged the ligaments connected to my stomach cos that too is being pulled. She said they can even help to correct breech baby, help to ease the way out for baby for easier delivery.
After first visit, I feel slightly better, not as stiff as the first time I came.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
31 weeks going 32
Updates:
- Next week I'm going for detail scan and God knows what tests.
- Braxton Hicks come and go and sometimes it just took my breath away (literally) and uncomfortable.
- I feel this time round my tummy is bigger. I have added some extra stretchmarks in addition to the existing ones. But last time the doctor checked she did not mention about the diameter being too big. So I suppose it's still normal?
- Baby moves, kicks, bumps very often. This one loves to move when I'm walking. So sometimes it's a bit uncomfortable. When it moves sometimes my tummy will just harden. I suppose that's a sign that she's fine.
Pains and Gains:
- I have gained 10kg!!! But my appetite have lessened now, due to space tightening on the stomach area.
- My pelvis pain is getting worse. Having read articles on the internet scares me, it can be just temporary or serious up to post birth. So I decided to call some chiropractors and ask around. I made appointment for today and I'll write later on how it goes. I still have about 8 more weeks to go, and I can't imagine if it goes beyond this. It makes me wonder, do I need to suffer or go ask for help?
- Last week I had a horrible muscle pull on my right buttocks. Up to the point whenever I lift my butt up from sitting down and start to walk I'd feel weak on my right legs. Magically it disappeared this week, and God help me please don't come back again. Maybe baby was sitting on my butt nerve last week.
I'm trying my best to give her the same attention and affection as when I was pregnant with Asha. But it's really hard. With the sister running here and there, ask for this and that. Not to mention I feel that this time round I feel more tired. But do know this, I love you both the same *smooooch*.
- Next week I'm going for detail scan and God knows what tests.
- Braxton Hicks come and go and sometimes it just took my breath away (literally) and uncomfortable.
- I feel this time round my tummy is bigger. I have added some extra stretchmarks in addition to the existing ones. But last time the doctor checked she did not mention about the diameter being too big. So I suppose it's still normal?
- Baby moves, kicks, bumps very often. This one loves to move when I'm walking. So sometimes it's a bit uncomfortable. When it moves sometimes my tummy will just harden. I suppose that's a sign that she's fine.
Pains and Gains:
- I have gained 10kg!!! But my appetite have lessened now, due to space tightening on the stomach area.
- My pelvis pain is getting worse. Having read articles on the internet scares me, it can be just temporary or serious up to post birth. So I decided to call some chiropractors and ask around. I made appointment for today and I'll write later on how it goes. I still have about 8 more weeks to go, and I can't imagine if it goes beyond this. It makes me wonder, do I need to suffer or go ask for help?
- Last week I had a horrible muscle pull on my right buttocks. Up to the point whenever I lift my butt up from sitting down and start to walk I'd feel weak on my right legs. Magically it disappeared this week, and God help me please don't come back again. Maybe baby was sitting on my butt nerve last week.
I'm trying my best to give her the same attention and affection as when I was pregnant with Asha. But it's really hard. With the sister running here and there, ask for this and that. Not to mention I feel that this time round I feel more tired. But do know this, I love you both the same *smooooch*.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
My 7th Month Going 8th Month
I want to complain and whine!!!
My polyp (I think) is gone. So far no bleeding or spotting anymore even during intercourse. But now my baby has grown bigger therefore putting pressures on my pelvis nerves and surrounding area.
New problem has arisen (aiyoh), and it's round ligament pain. My pelvis hurts whenever I stand from sitting down. But last month after I came back from my Hari Raya vacation was worse! I was still carrying my 15kg girl every now and then, and my room in Jakarta is on the second floor. Back then the pain was really bad! Lucky after I came back, do my everyday routine, with my maid helping me take care of my girl the pain slowly subsides and at least it doesn't hurt as bad.
I find that my daily prayers has helped me to stretch my muscles and ligaments, and it doesn't hurt when I performed all the routines. So I intend to do it normally until I couldn't take it.
The swelling has started as well. My feet now swell if I sit down too long so in the office I try to flex my legs often.
My appetite has been good, but not my tummy size. I could only take light breakfast, heavier lunch and light dinner. If I exceed my tummy size at one go, it will all end up inside the toilet again. Good in a way, because I don't move as much nowadays. Anything I eat will surely end up for the baby and the rest contributes to my fats. But I still can't tolerate too much cookies or sweet things and YAKULT! Sheesh, everytime I try to drink it always ends up upsetting my stomach and I have to vomit it out.
Baby wise, she's pretty much actively moving and kicking. Not sure which is hands legs butt, or head. I am so pathetic, a second timer and still..... Looking forward for the last scan on early October.
My wishes:
1. Hopefully no big issues until my delivery day. I'm wishing for another normal delivery to save money.
2. Hopefully she's head down during my next scan.
3. Hope she's well until the day I meet her :)
My polyp (I think) is gone. So far no bleeding or spotting anymore even during intercourse. But now my baby has grown bigger therefore putting pressures on my pelvis nerves and surrounding area.
New problem has arisen (aiyoh), and it's round ligament pain. My pelvis hurts whenever I stand from sitting down. But last month after I came back from my Hari Raya vacation was worse! I was still carrying my 15kg girl every now and then, and my room in Jakarta is on the second floor. Back then the pain was really bad! Lucky after I came back, do my everyday routine, with my maid helping me take care of my girl the pain slowly subsides and at least it doesn't hurt as bad.
I find that my daily prayers has helped me to stretch my muscles and ligaments, and it doesn't hurt when I performed all the routines. So I intend to do it normally until I couldn't take it.
The swelling has started as well. My feet now swell if I sit down too long so in the office I try to flex my legs often.
My appetite has been good, but not my tummy size. I could only take light breakfast, heavier lunch and light dinner. If I exceed my tummy size at one go, it will all end up inside the toilet again. Good in a way, because I don't move as much nowadays. Anything I eat will surely end up for the baby and the rest contributes to my fats. But I still can't tolerate too much cookies or sweet things and YAKULT! Sheesh, everytime I try to drink it always ends up upsetting my stomach and I have to vomit it out.
Baby wise, she's pretty much actively moving and kicking. Not sure which is hands legs butt, or head. I am so pathetic, a second timer and still..... Looking forward for the last scan on early October.
My wishes:
1. Hopefully no big issues until my delivery day. I'm wishing for another normal delivery to save money.
2. Hopefully she's head down during my next scan.
3. Hope she's well until the day I meet her :)
Monday, July 2, 2012
Week 18 going 19
Yaaayy.. Almost halfway. Just a little recap:
Week 12-16
I got constant headache bugging me almost every week! It's so annoying and disturbing. I took a few MC's during this time cause I couldn't stand the throbbing pain. Sometimes it would last a couple of days and Panadol seems to only ease it for a short period of time. So for almost one whole month I desperately needed a full dose of Panadol. 8 tablets within 24hours! Alhamdulillah after 16 week, the headache went away. Three weeks have gone with only occasional dose of Panadol.
Week 17
At end of this week I got a minor bleeding. I suspect it was caused by blood rupture during rough intercourse. I went to see Dr. Su and had it checked out. Alhamdulillah it was nothing serious, no bacteria no infection. But she still gave me 2 weeks dosage of progesterone pills.
Week 17-19
Other problems came up (as usual). Constipation!!!! I pass motion like once every two days and it is so uncomfortable. My stomach feels so full and bloated. I took fybogel so far didn't make me go toilet every day. I ate fruits, drank water, I walked back and forth office-home. I couldn't take yakult, it feels so acidic in my stomach. It still wouldn't come out! Oh well, as long as it's not painful and bleeding rectum I suppose it's counted as one blessing.
My appetite is back, but still can't eat so much. Yet my weight keeps on going up and up and up and up. I've felt the baby move around week 17. SO much earlier compared to the first child. So far Alhamdulillah no tingling and numbness sensation hopefully I won't have it till the end.
I've got muscle aches on my thighs. Have to put salonpas patches at night. I'll ask my doctor about it. One more thing. My hair is glowing and shining, but it's falling off! I don't understand. I'm supposed to have gorgeous hair and skin. I''ll ask my doctor about it either.
My appointment is still within 2weeks time. To do detail scan and find out the gender. I want a boy yes. But if God trusts me with another girl then I'll gladly accept it. We have prepared names, and it looks like both of us are more prepared with another girl. Hahahahaha.
Week 12-16
I got constant headache bugging me almost every week! It's so annoying and disturbing. I took a few MC's during this time cause I couldn't stand the throbbing pain. Sometimes it would last a couple of days and Panadol seems to only ease it for a short period of time. So for almost one whole month I desperately needed a full dose of Panadol. 8 tablets within 24hours! Alhamdulillah after 16 week, the headache went away. Three weeks have gone with only occasional dose of Panadol.
Week 17
At end of this week I got a minor bleeding. I suspect it was caused by blood rupture during rough intercourse. I went to see Dr. Su and had it checked out. Alhamdulillah it was nothing serious, no bacteria no infection. But she still gave me 2 weeks dosage of progesterone pills.
Week 17-19
Other problems came up (as usual). Constipation!!!! I pass motion like once every two days and it is so uncomfortable. My stomach feels so full and bloated. I took fybogel so far didn't make me go toilet every day. I ate fruits, drank water, I walked back and forth office-home. I couldn't take yakult, it feels so acidic in my stomach. It still wouldn't come out! Oh well, as long as it's not painful and bleeding rectum I suppose it's counted as one blessing.
My appetite is back, but still can't eat so much. Yet my weight keeps on going up and up and up and up. I've felt the baby move around week 17. SO much earlier compared to the first child. So far Alhamdulillah no tingling and numbness sensation hopefully I won't have it till the end.
I've got muscle aches on my thighs. Have to put salonpas patches at night. I'll ask my doctor about it. One more thing. My hair is glowing and shining, but it's falling off! I don't understand. I'm supposed to have gorgeous hair and skin. I''ll ask my doctor about it either.
My appointment is still within 2weeks time. To do detail scan and find out the gender. I want a boy yes. But if God trusts me with another girl then I'll gladly accept it. We have prepared names, and it looks like both of us are more prepared with another girl. Hahahahaha.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Menabung
Tujuan hidup kita setelah menikah sebenarnya gampang-gampang susah. Menikah, punya anak, beli rumah, beli mobil, nyekolahin anak, ngawinin anak teruuuus aja. Ada yang lebih cepet ada yang lebih lambat. Tiap orang pun beda prioritas. Ada yg memilih take it slow sambil menikmati ada yg memilih menderita diawal diakhir menikmati.
Suami saya bukan tipe orang yg memikirkan hidup dengan serius. Life with him is fun but comparatively I feel we're going nowhere. Beberapa kawan saya sudah grow up dr pola hidup seperti itu. Sedangkan aku malah mengikuti pola hidupnya. Semakin dipikir rasanya semakin tertinggal.
Semua orang punya investasi, beli rumah, dari bertahun2 lalu. Kami mulai baru beberapa bulan belakangan. Teman-tenan bisa beli rumah dengan DP sekian. Uang kami digabung-gabung pun tidak sampai sekian. Saya pun berpikir, did we not save enough? Do we live too lavish?
I believe saving money should not prevent you from living life happily. But now I'm not so sure anymore. Is it still applicable? I don't want to depend on anyone or having to borrow money from anyone. But sometimes it crossed my mind.
I know someday I'll be able to buy our own house. But something has got to change
Suami saya bukan tipe orang yg memikirkan hidup dengan serius. Life with him is fun but comparatively I feel we're going nowhere. Beberapa kawan saya sudah grow up dr pola hidup seperti itu. Sedangkan aku malah mengikuti pola hidupnya. Semakin dipikir rasanya semakin tertinggal.
Semua orang punya investasi, beli rumah, dari bertahun2 lalu. Kami mulai baru beberapa bulan belakangan. Teman-tenan bisa beli rumah dengan DP sekian. Uang kami digabung-gabung pun tidak sampai sekian. Saya pun berpikir, did we not save enough? Do we live too lavish?
I believe saving money should not prevent you from living life happily. But now I'm not so sure anymore. Is it still applicable? I don't want to depend on anyone or having to borrow money from anyone. But sometimes it crossed my mind.
I know someday I'll be able to buy our own house. But something has got to change
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Recap 9 - End of 10weeks
Beginning of 9 weeks.
On 27 April we went to see the gynae and Alhamdulillah, it was there! Hihihihhihi. Moving actively and NO transvaginal scan YAY!
End of 10weeks.
Believe or not, my sickness is still here!!! OMG. My last day of 10weeks is on the 10th of May and this is the first day that I've been feeling much better. My fatigue lessened alot, as well as the nausea and vomitings. The past few weeks had been horrible.
The discomfort that I've felt lately is the stomach tightening, something like Braxton Hicks. It is so uncomfortable but so far there is no spotting or bleeding. I only feel it if I'm feeling tired, stand too long or walk too fast, or under stress.
I couldn't say this is easier than the first one. Let's just say that I accept the pregnancy consequences this time so I try my best to go with it.
On 27 April we went to see the gynae and Alhamdulillah, it was there! Hihihihhihi. Moving actively and NO transvaginal scan YAY!
End of 10weeks.
Believe or not, my sickness is still here!!! OMG. My last day of 10weeks is on the 10th of May and this is the first day that I've been feeling much better. My fatigue lessened alot, as well as the nausea and vomitings. The past few weeks had been horrible.
The discomfort that I've felt lately is the stomach tightening, something like Braxton Hicks. It is so uncomfortable but so far there is no spotting or bleeding. I only feel it if I'm feeling tired, stand too long or walk too fast, or under stress.
I couldn't say this is easier than the first one. Let's just say that I accept the pregnancy consequences this time so I try my best to go with it.
End of Week 12
Yaayyy... I've passed my first trimester!! Everything's fine so far. Appetite coming back slowly. I still vomit every now and then if I eat something curry or spicy or eat too much. Tomorrow is my next check up.
I really don't know what is the difference with the first one. I got the pregnancy fatigue, I got the nausea, vomiting, same as the first one. The first one was nastier, this one is longer but not as nasty. Maybe the headache part is slightly better this time round?
My food preference is a bit different though. Last time I loved Indian food. Now I eat curry I throw up afterwards. I prefer more on the Japanese food. I'm still prone to gassy food though so I try to avoid those. Snack wise, I survive better on the whole grain heavy once in a while snack. Rather than small biscuits eat often snack.
I don't know how it will progress but I'll try my best to adapt. My tummy is bulging. I look fat! Oh well..
I'll update on the check up tomorrow :D
The Check up
Actually my 12 wks ended last Wednesday on the 16th of May. On the 18th I went for my down syndrome check up and all the first trimester tests. The queue was daaaaaaaaaaaamn long! I waited 1.5hours just to do a scan. Definitely all dragon babies hopeful parents. So far all is well, from the scan the NT (neck thickness) is low (less than 25mm) and nose bone is visible (and it looks like a good looking nose too). To ensure need to check from blood test as well.
As for myself at the end of my 12 weeks I felt better. But coming in to week 13 the headaches attack! Oh and the fatigue as well. My food intake is also still limited but nausea has gone away. Once in a while still showing up at 5pm or 6pm. Night time my intake is the minimum. I don't eat much at all.
I really don't know what is the difference with the first one. I got the pregnancy fatigue, I got the nausea, vomiting, same as the first one. The first one was nastier, this one is longer but not as nasty. Maybe the headache part is slightly better this time round?
My food preference is a bit different though. Last time I loved Indian food. Now I eat curry I throw up afterwards. I prefer more on the Japanese food. I'm still prone to gassy food though so I try to avoid those. Snack wise, I survive better on the whole grain heavy once in a while snack. Rather than small biscuits eat often snack.
I don't know how it will progress but I'll try my best to adapt. My tummy is bulging. I look fat! Oh well..
I'll update on the check up tomorrow :D
The Check up
Actually my 12 wks ended last Wednesday on the 16th of May. On the 18th I went for my down syndrome check up and all the first trimester tests. The queue was daaaaaaaaaaaamn long! I waited 1.5hours just to do a scan. Definitely all dragon babies hopeful parents. So far all is well, from the scan the NT (neck thickness) is low (less than 25mm) and nose bone is visible (and it looks like a good looking nose too). To ensure need to check from blood test as well.
As for myself at the end of my 12 weeks I felt better. But coming in to week 13 the headaches attack! Oh and the fatigue as well. My food intake is also still limited but nausea has gone away. Once in a while still showing up at 5pm or 6pm. Night time my intake is the minimum. I don't eat much at all.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
8 Weeks Going 9
Thursday, which is 2 days away will be my 9th week! And Friday, which is 3 days away will be my first appointment with the gynae!! Second kid but still exciting ya...
What I feel this week:
1. My nausea is improving. At least my tongue doesn't taste so bitter anymore nowadays. But my sickness still comes between afternoon to evening. Which still causes lack of appetite.
2. My tummy starts to bulge. Unlike my first one which I can bear my zippered pants till 4monthz, this time it's unbearable. I need to get into those maternity pants quick!
3. I am still having trouble keeping milk, yogurt, and plain water down. Now I take tea. Diluted tea no sugar. The GP said if that's the only way I can hydrate myself then I have no choice. Hopefully it'll be be over before I know it.
4. The more I progress with this pregnancy the more I find the trip to the toilet to be unpleasant. It feels so miserable!
5. Constipation. Yes!!! My old problem is back to haunt me. I pooed once every 3 days! Lucky it was never painful. Just the beginning was a bit hard.
6. Vaginal discharge. Lots and lots and lotss.. Mostly it was sticky, yellowish, watery, sometimes gel like. Not itchy just bothersome having that wet feeling down there. I need to bring spare panties to the office!!
That's about it I guess. Will record what happens after my first visit on Friday. Can't wait!!! ❤❤
What I feel this week:
1. My nausea is improving. At least my tongue doesn't taste so bitter anymore nowadays. But my sickness still comes between afternoon to evening. Which still causes lack of appetite.
2. My tummy starts to bulge. Unlike my first one which I can bear my zippered pants till 4monthz, this time it's unbearable. I need to get into those maternity pants quick!
3. I am still having trouble keeping milk, yogurt, and plain water down. Now I take tea. Diluted tea no sugar. The GP said if that's the only way I can hydrate myself then I have no choice. Hopefully it'll be be over before I know it.
4. The more I progress with this pregnancy the more I find the trip to the toilet to be unpleasant. It feels so miserable!
5. Constipation. Yes!!! My old problem is back to haunt me. I pooed once every 3 days! Lucky it was never painful. Just the beginning was a bit hard.
6. Vaginal discharge. Lots and lots and lotss.. Mostly it was sticky, yellowish, watery, sometimes gel like. Not itchy just bothersome having that wet feeling down there. I need to bring spare panties to the office!!
That's about it I guess. Will record what happens after my first visit on Friday. Can't wait!!! ❤❤
Friday, April 20, 2012
Tribute to Ayah
I always complained of how my husband always work and did not put family first until I read an article. That a husband always shed invisible tears. Maybe because I just married for a few years I don't really realize it. But I'll remember it for years to come. I copy paste it from here.
Tahukah anda, kaum pria sesungguhnya jauh lebih sering "menangis". Namun mereka menyembunyikan tangisnya di dalam kekuatan akalnya, Itulah mengapa Tuhan menyebutkan bahwa pada pria, terdapat dua kali lipat akal seorang wanita, dan itulah sebabnya, mengapa tiada yang anda lihat selain ketegarannya.
Pria menangis karena tanggung jawabnya di hadapan Tuhan.
Ia menjadi tonggak penyangga rumah tangga.
Menjadi pengawal Tuhan bagi Ibu, saudara perempuan, istri dan anak-anaknya.
Maka tangisnya tak pernah nampak di bening matanya.
Tangis pria adalah pada keringat yang bercucuran demi menafkahi keluarganya.
Tak bisa anda lihat tangisnya pada keluh kesah di lisannya.
Pria "menangis" dalam letih dan lelahnya menjaga keluarganya dari kelaparan.
Tak dapat anda dengar tangisnya pada omelan-omelan di bibirnya.
Pria "menangis" dalam tegak dan teguhnya dalam melindungi keluarganya dari terik matahari, deras hujan dan dinginnnya angin malam.
Tak nampak tangisnya pada peristiwa-peristiwa kecil dan sepele.
Pria "menangis" dalam kemarahannya jika kehormatan diri dan keluarganya digugat.
Pria "menangis" dengan sigap bangunnya di kegelapan dini hari.
Pria "menangis" dengan bercucuran peluhnya dalam menjemput rezeki. Pria "menangis" dengan menjaga dan melindungi orang tua, anak dan istri.
Pria "menangis" dengan tenaga dan darahnya menjadi garda bagi agamanya.
Namun, pria pun sungguh-sungguh menangis dengan air matanya, di kesendiriannya menyadari tanggung jawabnya yang besar di hadapan Tuhan.
Maka....
Pandanglah Ayah. Pandanglah Suami.
Sebab, Surga juga ada di mereka
Jadi inget si ayah jauh-jauh ke Jakarta buat ngerjain proyek. Gw rasa kalo ada pekerjaan lain beliau mau aja stay di sini buat selalu bareng keluarga. Kalo bisa nolak gw rasa beliau bakal menolak untuk pergi ke Jakarta. Tapi kalo mau rumah terus dibayarin, asuransi terus terbayar, ya harus berangkat. Sekarang kita lagi berusaha mencari pekerjaan lain yang setidaknya lebih menjanjikan. InsyaAllah rejeki segera datang ya.
Di Jakarta juga tiap pagi bangun jam 5 pagi buat berangkat ke kantor. Kadang langsung ke kapal. Pernah turun kapal jam 9malam. Jarang di kantor ongkang-ongkang kaki, sering lembur, di rumah harus angkat telepon dari kapal kapanpun. Belum lagi harus menghadapi istri yang demanding minta ditelepon dan manja minta macem-macem nun jauh disana. Sekarang hamil ngidam macem-macem minta martabak manis. Martabak ketinggalan istri ngamuk-ngamuk.
Terus inget bapak, dari dulu pengorbanannya besar sekali. Mengurus ibu, cari pengobatan buat ibu, mendidik anak-anak seorang diri. Tetap harus bekerja, mencari nafkah, sampai rumah tetap harus mendidik anak-anaknya. Berusaha sekuat tenaganya agar kami tumbuh jadi anak-anak yang berbakti dan tidak terjerumus hal-hal kurang baik, menanamkan prinsip-prinsip hidup yang terus jadi peganganku hingga hari ini. Mungkin setiap kemarahan yang dulu selalu terlontar dari mulutnya adalah tangisan tersedu-sedu seorang ayah. Tidak pernah sekalipun kulihat bapak menangis, semua dihadapinya dengan tegar. Buatku dulu bapak terlalu kaku, ini tidak boleh itu tidak boleh. Setiap kali dia memarahiku diakhiri dengan kata-kata, "Suatu hari nanti kamu akan mengerti."Aku harus menikah dulu lalu punya anak baru aku mengerti.
Benar kata tulisan diatas, Surga bukan hanya ada di telapak kaki ibu, namun ada juga di tangan ayah :)
Tahukah anda, kaum pria sesungguhnya jauh lebih sering "menangis". Namun mereka menyembunyikan tangisnya di dalam kekuatan akalnya, Itulah mengapa Tuhan menyebutkan bahwa pada pria, terdapat dua kali lipat akal seorang wanita, dan itulah sebabnya, mengapa tiada yang anda lihat selain ketegarannya.
Pria menangis karena tanggung jawabnya di hadapan Tuhan.
Ia menjadi tonggak penyangga rumah tangga.
Menjadi pengawal Tuhan bagi Ibu, saudara perempuan, istri dan anak-anaknya.
Maka tangisnya tak pernah nampak di bening matanya.
Tangis pria adalah pada keringat yang bercucuran demi menafkahi keluarganya.
Tak bisa anda lihat tangisnya pada keluh kesah di lisannya.
Pria "menangis" dalam letih dan lelahnya menjaga keluarganya dari kelaparan.
Tak dapat anda dengar tangisnya pada omelan-omelan di bibirnya.
Pria "menangis" dalam tegak dan teguhnya dalam melindungi keluarganya dari terik matahari, deras hujan dan dinginnnya angin malam.
Tak nampak tangisnya pada peristiwa-peristiwa kecil dan sepele.
Pria "menangis" dalam kemarahannya jika kehormatan diri dan keluarganya digugat.
Pria "menangis" dengan sigap bangunnya di kegelapan dini hari.
Pria "menangis" dengan bercucuran peluhnya dalam menjemput rezeki. Pria "menangis" dengan menjaga dan melindungi orang tua, anak dan istri.
Pria "menangis" dengan tenaga dan darahnya menjadi garda bagi agamanya.
Namun, pria pun sungguh-sungguh menangis dengan air matanya, di kesendiriannya menyadari tanggung jawabnya yang besar di hadapan Tuhan.
Maka....
Pandanglah Ayah. Pandanglah Suami.
Sebab, Surga juga ada di mereka
Jadi inget si ayah jauh-jauh ke Jakarta buat ngerjain proyek. Gw rasa kalo ada pekerjaan lain beliau mau aja stay di sini buat selalu bareng keluarga. Kalo bisa nolak gw rasa beliau bakal menolak untuk pergi ke Jakarta. Tapi kalo mau rumah terus dibayarin, asuransi terus terbayar, ya harus berangkat. Sekarang kita lagi berusaha mencari pekerjaan lain yang setidaknya lebih menjanjikan. InsyaAllah rejeki segera datang ya.
Di Jakarta juga tiap pagi bangun jam 5 pagi buat berangkat ke kantor. Kadang langsung ke kapal. Pernah turun kapal jam 9malam. Jarang di kantor ongkang-ongkang kaki, sering lembur, di rumah harus angkat telepon dari kapal kapanpun. Belum lagi harus menghadapi istri yang demanding minta ditelepon dan manja minta macem-macem nun jauh disana. Sekarang hamil ngidam macem-macem minta martabak manis. Martabak ketinggalan istri ngamuk-ngamuk.
Terus inget bapak, dari dulu pengorbanannya besar sekali. Mengurus ibu, cari pengobatan buat ibu, mendidik anak-anak seorang diri. Tetap harus bekerja, mencari nafkah, sampai rumah tetap harus mendidik anak-anaknya. Berusaha sekuat tenaganya agar kami tumbuh jadi anak-anak yang berbakti dan tidak terjerumus hal-hal kurang baik, menanamkan prinsip-prinsip hidup yang terus jadi peganganku hingga hari ini. Mungkin setiap kemarahan yang dulu selalu terlontar dari mulutnya adalah tangisan tersedu-sedu seorang ayah. Tidak pernah sekalipun kulihat bapak menangis, semua dihadapinya dengan tegar. Buatku dulu bapak terlalu kaku, ini tidak boleh itu tidak boleh. Setiap kali dia memarahiku diakhiri dengan kata-kata, "Suatu hari nanti kamu akan mengerti."Aku harus menikah dulu lalu punya anak baru aku mengerti.
Benar kata tulisan diatas, Surga bukan hanya ada di telapak kaki ibu, namun ada juga di tangan ayah :)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
A self Reminder
No matter what happens later in life... I shall laugh at it and have fun with it. Nothing in life was ever going to be always great and smooth. There will always be bitter moments, flawed moments, moments of mistake, moments of unexpected events. It's like work, when there's a problem, me and my team will just laugh at it and work it out. Instead of looking for someone to blame, cause it solves NOTHING.
Life is work. An everlasting work. Marriage needs work, a work that takes time to perfection. When there's a problem, my team will smile at it and work it out. That is how problems are solved. I don't want to live my life keeps on cursing my fate and frown at others' happiness.
If I don't have a partner to solve it with me, I always have a manager to guide me to get through it. It's just that.. well, this manager, you gotta have more faith. But I would never be alone. I want to choose to be happy for what I am, what I have, and what I have become. Allah doesn't make us all different just to make us live the same life. Someone's gotta be lucky while others not so lucky.
Happy is not a state of money of success. Happy is a state of mind. When you're happy, you're strong, you're capable, you're everything! So be happy Wij!!
Life is work. An everlasting work. Marriage needs work, a work that takes time to perfection. When there's a problem, my team will smile at it and work it out. That is how problems are solved. I don't want to live my life keeps on cursing my fate and frown at others' happiness.
If I don't have a partner to solve it with me, I always have a manager to guide me to get through it. It's just that.. well, this manager, you gotta have more faith. But I would never be alone. I want to choose to be happy for what I am, what I have, and what I have become. Allah doesn't make us all different just to make us live the same life. Someone's gotta be lucky while others not so lucky.
Happy is not a state of money of success. Happy is a state of mind. When you're happy, you're strong, you're capable, you're everything! So be happy Wij!!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Week 8
One morning I woke up and found my morning sickness was gone!!! To later find out that it only decided to switch timing. Now my sickness comes at noon and all the burping continues til night.
No pregnancy shall be the same. I guess this is true enough for me. Remembering my first pregnancy, for this second one I try my best not to overexert myself.
By the way, in this very early stage my tummy has already started to bulge. So some of my friends have already asked around.. Not to mention my multiple visits to the toilet and the sound of puking when I'm inside. Last time when I puked I seriously puked my insides out. Now my puking is just to let out all those gases and acids building up.
The previous one no smell can bother me. Now when I go to the toilet and there is an awful stench I immediately puked. Even the bitter taste of my mouth makes me always want to brush my teeth.
I can't take chicken, love fish, ok with beef, no indian food this time. Haha. Fruits and veggies are fine. But I can't drink warm water. It makes me nauseous. So I only drink ice water. Can only take nasi pecel! Most of the time I eat noodles, not so much on rice.
Baby you're definitely Indonesian. I'll be seeing the doc on the 27. Still another 2 weeks -__-. Hope all's well til then!! :D
No pregnancy shall be the same. I guess this is true enough for me. Remembering my first pregnancy, for this second one I try my best not to overexert myself.
By the way, in this very early stage my tummy has already started to bulge. So some of my friends have already asked around.. Not to mention my multiple visits to the toilet and the sound of puking when I'm inside. Last time when I puked I seriously puked my insides out. Now my puking is just to let out all those gases and acids building up.
The previous one no smell can bother me. Now when I go to the toilet and there is an awful stench I immediately puked. Even the bitter taste of my mouth makes me always want to brush my teeth.
I can't take chicken, love fish, ok with beef, no indian food this time. Haha. Fruits and veggies are fine. But I can't drink warm water. It makes me nauseous. So I only drink ice water. Can only take nasi pecel! Most of the time I eat noodles, not so much on rice.
Baby you're definitely Indonesian. I'll be seeing the doc on the 27. Still another 2 weeks -__-. Hope all's well til then!! :D
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Kemandirian
Selama ini gw kira gw sudah cukup mandiri. Ternyata belum. Gw masih terus menerus berharap suami gw bakal bahu membahu sama gw buat bareng-bareng ngajarin anak, gantian mendidik ini itu. Gw masih berharap dia lebih sering ada di rumah untuk mengisi kekosongan gw dalam mendidik. Gw masih menunggu dia settle di rumah. Melihat jalur karir suami gw dan tabiatnya, I think it's not happening in the near future.
Jadi gw memutuskan, I will do everything myself. Maybe it's fated, maybe he never thought that it's his job too. Gw cape nungguin dia pulang cuma buat pisah kasur sama Asha, potty training Asha. Ketika dia pulang biasanya cuma wiken, itupun waktu habis buat jalan-jalan, benerin yang rusak di rumah dan cari-cari titipan. I AM FED UP.
Jadi daripada gw menyesali nasib gw yang harus jadi orangtua tunggal (secara fisik dan mental) mendingan gw bikin program apa saja target hal-hal yang harus gw tekankan ke Asha sebelum umur 3thn. Daripada gw sirik sama ibu-ibu yang suka blogging tentang betapa terlibatnya suami sama perkembangan anaknya, lebih baik gw konsentrasi sama perkembangan anak gw yang bisa sama meski tanpa keterlibatan suami. Bukan berarti ga sayang suami juga. Cuma gw berpikir mungkin nanti akan datang masanya dan rejeki gw dia bakal lebih sering di rumah. Namun kapan saat itu tiba juga gw ga tau kan.
Gw ga tau sih entah dia tau ato ga ya gw sesungguhnya cape mengurus rumah tangga sendirian. Alhamdulillah msh ada pembantu yg membantu beberes rumah dan urus Asha. Tapi terkadang laki-laki sering berpikir mereka harus bekerja untuk cari duit and that's it. Jadi ya sudahlah, let it be. All I wanted is equality in marriage, and I get more than what I asked.
Jadi gw memutuskan, I will do everything myself. Maybe it's fated, maybe he never thought that it's his job too. Gw cape nungguin dia pulang cuma buat pisah kasur sama Asha, potty training Asha. Ketika dia pulang biasanya cuma wiken, itupun waktu habis buat jalan-jalan, benerin yang rusak di rumah dan cari-cari titipan. I AM FED UP.
Jadi daripada gw menyesali nasib gw yang harus jadi orangtua tunggal (secara fisik dan mental) mendingan gw bikin program apa saja target hal-hal yang harus gw tekankan ke Asha sebelum umur 3thn. Daripada gw sirik sama ibu-ibu yang suka blogging tentang betapa terlibatnya suami sama perkembangan anaknya, lebih baik gw konsentrasi sama perkembangan anak gw yang bisa sama meski tanpa keterlibatan suami. Bukan berarti ga sayang suami juga. Cuma gw berpikir mungkin nanti akan datang masanya dan rejeki gw dia bakal lebih sering di rumah. Namun kapan saat itu tiba juga gw ga tau kan.
Gw ga tau sih entah dia tau ato ga ya gw sesungguhnya cape mengurus rumah tangga sendirian. Alhamdulillah msh ada pembantu yg membantu beberes rumah dan urus Asha. Tapi terkadang laki-laki sering berpikir mereka harus bekerja untuk cari duit and that's it. Jadi ya sudahlah, let it be. All I wanted is equality in marriage, and I get more than what I asked.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Old Friend
I have an old friend. We used to share the same passion, our conversations connected and he was a very good friend to talk to, especially regarding work. But I guess he changed I changed. He became career minded, money minded, while I remained knowledge minded, and not so much for the money. He said he has family to think about, but that is no excuse to forget your passion. Once you start to work for money, forever you'll be enslaved by it.
I grew up in a family where money is just a necessity to live comfortably. My father didn't raise us to work for money but rather to do what we love and getting paid sufficiently. I too never dreamed of being super rich with super powers, I just love to learn so many new things. Maybe this is why I've never been a money minded person. I never lived poor, always sufficient, so for me it was never an issue. It's easy for me to live by passion. Not so easy on others.
So I guess we have gone our separate ways. There he goes chasing his career and here I am still pursuing as many things possible. I pray me or my husband will never be enslaved by money. I pray that forever our money will be enough but not too much to make us live too lavish and blind us.
More money means you have more share in it for the unfortunate. :). Even Rasulullah himself has nothing and he is more holy than any other person in the world. To have a good family you don't have to be rich, you only have to be grateful and make the most of it.
I grew up in a family where money is just a necessity to live comfortably. My father didn't raise us to work for money but rather to do what we love and getting paid sufficiently. I too never dreamed of being super rich with super powers, I just love to learn so many new things. Maybe this is why I've never been a money minded person. I never lived poor, always sufficient, so for me it was never an issue. It's easy for me to live by passion. Not so easy on others.
So I guess we have gone our separate ways. There he goes chasing his career and here I am still pursuing as many things possible. I pray me or my husband will never be enslaved by money. I pray that forever our money will be enough but not too much to make us live too lavish and blind us.
More money means you have more share in it for the unfortunate. :). Even Rasulullah himself has nothing and he is more holy than any other person in the world. To have a good family you don't have to be rich, you only have to be grateful and make the most of it.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
H+8
Ahahhahaha....
H+8 tanpa mens
Belum ke dokter...
Tunggu H+14 tanpa mens deh....
Sulit makan sekarang soalnya suka ga bisa masuk banyak. Abis makan pasti deh mual. Apalagi klo jalan naek turun tangga abis makan. Rasanya hoek-hoek banget deh.
Namun kepastian tetep tunggu ke dokter dulu. So far yang tau baru teman-teman terdekat. Keluarga nanti saja tunggu kepastian hasil USG di dokter. Doakan yaaaa
H+8 tanpa mens
Belum ke dokter...
Tunggu H+14 tanpa mens deh....
Sulit makan sekarang soalnya suka ga bisa masuk banyak. Abis makan pasti deh mual. Apalagi klo jalan naek turun tangga abis makan. Rasanya hoek-hoek banget deh.
Namun kepastian tetep tunggu ke dokter dulu. So far yang tau baru teman-teman terdekat. Keluarga nanti saja tunggu kepastian hasil USG di dokter. Doakan yaaaa
Tawakal
Akhir-akhir ini hidup saya dipenuhi banyak pelajaran tentang tawakal. Bagaimana kita manusia hanya bisa berusaha semampu mungkin tetapi tetap Allah yang menentukan. Beberapa minggu lalu saya pernah menulis tentang om saya yang mengidap lymphoma itu. Minggu lalu kami menjenguk beliau. Beliau nampak jauh lebih sehat dan kuat. Beliau bercerita tentang perawatan kemo 2x yang sudah dijalaninya beserta efek sampingnya.
Sehabis kemoterapi biasanya kondisinya akan membaik dalam seminggu pertama, namun memasuki hari ke 10-14 demam itu datang lagi. Pada dasarnya kemoterapi bertujuan membunuhi semua sel dalam tubuh. TIdak pandang bulu baik ato jahat. Sehingga sel darah putih kita yang baik itupun terbunuhi. Otomatis badan kita pun jatuh tanpa perlindungan. Beliau sudah melakukan segala cara agar badannya ketika sel darah putih terbunuhi tidak mudah terinfeksi bakteri atau virus. Sedikit sulit memang karena sel darah putih kita lah departemen pertahanan kita.
Beliau bingung, makanan bergizi dilahap, mengisolasi diri sudah namun masuk hari ke 10-14 pasca kemoterapi namun demam tetap datang lagi dan lagi.
Tawakal, easier said than done. Kita manusia kadang cenderung menggantungkan diri pada kemampuan sendiri dan orang ahli lainnya. Namun banyak hal di dunia ini yang berada diluar kemampuan kita. Kadang kita merasa sudah mencoba semaksimal mungkin namun hasilnya tidak sesuai seperti yang kita inginkan. Semua kemungkinan sudah dicoba namun teori tidak berhasil. Ini saatnya tawakal.
Kita sakit, meski sudah berusaha hidup sehat terkadang adalah ujian dari Allah. Ada orang sehat terus padahal pola hidup kacau balau bukan berarti Allah menyayanginya mungkin, tapi itu adalah ujian dalam bentuk lain baginya.
Kadang kita terlalu mengkuatirkan sesuatu yang akan terjadi. Semua ketakutan yang ada di belakang kepala kita terkadang menjadi momok yang mengerikan. Kita jadi stress karena hal yang bahkan belum pasti akan terjadi.
Saya sedang belajar tawakal. Saya sedang belajar untuk berusaha tanpa memikirkan dampak negatif dan positifnya. Saya sedang belajar untuk tidak terlalu memikirkan hal-hal yang tidak pasti. Saya sedang berusaha merencanakan masa depan namun tidak memaksakan. Masa depan kita yang bentuk tapi rahasianya tetap di tangan Allah.
Mudah-mudahan jika saya diberi umur panjang, saya bisa jadi manusia yang bertawakal sampai tua nanti.
Sehabis kemoterapi biasanya kondisinya akan membaik dalam seminggu pertama, namun memasuki hari ke 10-14 demam itu datang lagi. Pada dasarnya kemoterapi bertujuan membunuhi semua sel dalam tubuh. TIdak pandang bulu baik ato jahat. Sehingga sel darah putih kita yang baik itupun terbunuhi. Otomatis badan kita pun jatuh tanpa perlindungan. Beliau sudah melakukan segala cara agar badannya ketika sel darah putih terbunuhi tidak mudah terinfeksi bakteri atau virus. Sedikit sulit memang karena sel darah putih kita lah departemen pertahanan kita.
Beliau bingung, makanan bergizi dilahap, mengisolasi diri sudah namun masuk hari ke 10-14 pasca kemoterapi namun demam tetap datang lagi dan lagi.
Tawakal, easier said than done. Kita manusia kadang cenderung menggantungkan diri pada kemampuan sendiri dan orang ahli lainnya. Namun banyak hal di dunia ini yang berada diluar kemampuan kita. Kadang kita merasa sudah mencoba semaksimal mungkin namun hasilnya tidak sesuai seperti yang kita inginkan. Semua kemungkinan sudah dicoba namun teori tidak berhasil. Ini saatnya tawakal.
Kita sakit, meski sudah berusaha hidup sehat terkadang adalah ujian dari Allah. Ada orang sehat terus padahal pola hidup kacau balau bukan berarti Allah menyayanginya mungkin, tapi itu adalah ujian dalam bentuk lain baginya.
Kadang kita terlalu mengkuatirkan sesuatu yang akan terjadi. Semua ketakutan yang ada di belakang kepala kita terkadang menjadi momok yang mengerikan. Kita jadi stress karena hal yang bahkan belum pasti akan terjadi.
Saya sedang belajar tawakal. Saya sedang belajar untuk berusaha tanpa memikirkan dampak negatif dan positifnya. Saya sedang belajar untuk tidak terlalu memikirkan hal-hal yang tidak pasti. Saya sedang berusaha merencanakan masa depan namun tidak memaksakan. Masa depan kita yang bentuk tapi rahasianya tetap di tangan Allah.
Mudah-mudahan jika saya diberi umur panjang, saya bisa jadi manusia yang bertawakal sampai tua nanti.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
I'll Be There For You
I remember when I was a young teenager, how being there for your loved ones when they need you the most is very very important. You can fight with boyfriends and shout out things like, "where were you when I needed you?". When I got married I guess I pretty much thought that my husband will be there for me whatever happens.
Reality is... he won't be. Especially when his job requires him to be overseas once in a while (on my case it's been like that for the last year). Sometimes when I need him, I can't contact him. When I'm down I can't contact him, he's busy or whatever. When our daughter is sick, he's not there to share the burden. So much for the fairy tale life I wanted.
At this rate I'll end up being a typical Javanese super woman. I handle household matters, kids matters, and he just needs to find money. I feel a bit sad really. I feel somewhat egoistic but in a way I feel that it's my right to ask. In a way I feel that I should be able to handle everything, but I just don't want to. But you know what, that is what is happening exactly. We are turning into a typical Javanese family. Where the father is never there and the mother handles everything.
I feel that family should not be second best. Reality is, if your family doesn't support your career, they say you don't want your husband to advance. So really, at this age, career is first priority don't you think? I try my best not to complain. But sometimes getting answers like, "what to do, this is my job" or "you have to understand this is my job" makes me feel like we're only accessories to his life. Does he ever say to his boss things like, "what to do, it's my family" or "you have to understand, I have family". I don't think so.
In the end, no human being can guarantee they'll always be there for me. This is the end of my fairy tale wishes. If there is one that I can never lose is Allah. Anytime anywhere, closer than my veins. So why should I feel sad or down or lonely?
Reality is... he won't be. Especially when his job requires him to be overseas once in a while (on my case it's been like that for the last year). Sometimes when I need him, I can't contact him. When I'm down I can't contact him, he's busy or whatever. When our daughter is sick, he's not there to share the burden. So much for the fairy tale life I wanted.
At this rate I'll end up being a typical Javanese super woman. I handle household matters, kids matters, and he just needs to find money. I feel a bit sad really. I feel somewhat egoistic but in a way I feel that it's my right to ask. In a way I feel that I should be able to handle everything, but I just don't want to. But you know what, that is what is happening exactly. We are turning into a typical Javanese family. Where the father is never there and the mother handles everything.
I feel that family should not be second best. Reality is, if your family doesn't support your career, they say you don't want your husband to advance. So really, at this age, career is first priority don't you think? I try my best not to complain. But sometimes getting answers like, "what to do, this is my job" or "you have to understand this is my job" makes me feel like we're only accessories to his life. Does he ever say to his boss things like, "what to do, it's my family" or "you have to understand, I have family". I don't think so.
In the end, no human being can guarantee they'll always be there for me. This is the end of my fairy tale wishes. If there is one that I can never lose is Allah. Anytime anywhere, closer than my veins. So why should I feel sad or down or lonely?
PMS or .....
Remember my blog post a few weeks ago regarding me trying to get pregnant? I have always wondered what will the symptoms be before I'm even late for my menses. I remember vaguely that for my first one I had a very mild PMS. Some say PMS and pregnancy symptoms are similar. Well, not for me... If I have my PMS, it will be BAD and I will get my menses.
After last month cycle, I'll just account some of the weird sensations I've been feeling so far.
1. I've got a weird sense of smell. The smell of tobacco is making me sick. It feels like it goes all the way to my brain and stomach!!! The worst was I sat next to a guy who smells like tobacco mixed with piss, I couldn't stand it I stood up. But the guy that sat next to him afterwards seemed to be ok with it.
2. I've got very very mild PMS. I still get sensitive and agitated, but all seems to be within normal limits.
3. I fell sick a few days ago. Since then my appetite hasn't been the same. I thought it was because of the flu effect. But the flu is gone and the loss of appetite is still there.
4. I've got cramps. Weird. I usually have 1 or 2 days cramping then my menses will come. I've been cramping since 1week ago and it's still not here yet. On tuesday the cramps lasted the whole day it feels like a dull ache when I stood up. So I spent my day laying on my bed.
5. Since I've got nausea and I wonder if it's because of the flu or I might be pregnant I tested yesterday afternoon. It was a 1 stripe at the beginning, then a faint second stripe showed up. But I'm still unsure. I'll test again maybe tomorrow.
Hoping and praying for the best!
After last month cycle, I'll just account some of the weird sensations I've been feeling so far.
1. I've got a weird sense of smell. The smell of tobacco is making me sick. It feels like it goes all the way to my brain and stomach!!! The worst was I sat next to a guy who smells like tobacco mixed with piss, I couldn't stand it I stood up. But the guy that sat next to him afterwards seemed to be ok with it.
2. I've got very very mild PMS. I still get sensitive and agitated, but all seems to be within normal limits.
3. I fell sick a few days ago. Since then my appetite hasn't been the same. I thought it was because of the flu effect. But the flu is gone and the loss of appetite is still there.
4. I've got cramps. Weird. I usually have 1 or 2 days cramping then my menses will come. I've been cramping since 1week ago and it's still not here yet. On tuesday the cramps lasted the whole day it feels like a dull ache when I stood up. So I spent my day laying on my bed.
5. Since I've got nausea and I wonder if it's because of the flu or I might be pregnant I tested yesterday afternoon. It was a 1 stripe at the beginning, then a faint second stripe showed up. But I'm still unsure. I'll test again maybe tomorrow.
Hoping and praying for the best!
Friday, March 16, 2012
Pasca Weaning (The effects on me)
My daughter has been weaned off since January. Actually we have been trying for the second one since then. But still not our turn yet I guess. Since then my body has seemed to go back to its regular function.
My metabolism slowed down, because it's not producing milk anymore. The thing that takes time is to slow down my appetite. The first month I still eat like usual. Then the second month I noticed all my clothes are getting tighter. When I weigh myself I gained an extra 3kgs!!!! Unbelievable! Since then I only managed to shed 1-1.5kg. I need to eat less exercise more.
The other thing is my hormone too going back to normal. During my breastfeeding times I rarely get "physical PMS" so severe. Now 1week before menses, my stomach bloated, I get cramps, terrible fatigue, immune system drop, horrible mood swing, constipated. It's scary what weaning off has done to your body! I've never felt as miserable (and fat) as now.
I also noticed that since I've weaned off my menses cycle normalizes. Previously it was errated. Now starting to stabilize itself between 27-29 days. So yup, I'm back to my old self.
My metabolism slowed down, because it's not producing milk anymore. The thing that takes time is to slow down my appetite. The first month I still eat like usual. Then the second month I noticed all my clothes are getting tighter. When I weigh myself I gained an extra 3kgs!!!! Unbelievable! Since then I only managed to shed 1-1.5kg. I need to eat less exercise more.
The other thing is my hormone too going back to normal. During my breastfeeding times I rarely get "physical PMS" so severe. Now 1week before menses, my stomach bloated, I get cramps, terrible fatigue, immune system drop, horrible mood swing, constipated. It's scary what weaning off has done to your body! I've never felt as miserable (and fat) as now.
I also noticed that since I've weaned off my menses cycle normalizes. Previously it was errated. Now starting to stabilize itself between 27-29 days. So yup, I'm back to my old self.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Health and What It's Worth
My uncle is admitted in NUH. He's my father's cousin. My uncle is not working anymore. He still has 1 wife and 2 children to support. The first one is only 22yrs old and there's still a younger one.
To cut the story short, he was admitted to a hospital in Jakarta due to high fever. When they checked his Hb was very low. They suspected he got anemia hemolitic. He stayed in hospital for 1 month and didn't get better. The family decided to look for second opinion, so they came to Singapore, NUH to be exact.
The first day they came he was very weak so they went straight to the hospital. The doctor suspected that the treatment in the first hospital was too harsh, therefore leaving him neither better or worse. This is his 3rd day in NUH and they are still doing biopsy. No medicines yet, only panadols and blood transfusion.
I visited him yesterday. He was transfused with new blood cos his Hb was very very low. 6 I think, below the normal count which is 10.
My aunt said he rarely gets sick, no health problems, healthy habits, good life. My uncle said, "this is like getting slapped in the face by Allah".
Even when you are so healthy, you take care of yourself, you still don't know when Allah decided to test you. We can't really expect our lives to be smooth all the way even though we wished to. It's scary sometimes when you think about it. At times like this I'm always reminded of my good friend. She suffered from an unknown illness for years, only taking painkillers, do MRI etc and she looked mighty brave. She never complained. She shared stories but not to the point of complaining. I wonder if she ever cries.Only recently she found out it was fibroid myalgia. The sister is schizophrenic and the mother now is in hospital. Sometimes I think Allah loves her so much that Allah tested her to that point. Sometimes I think it's unfair to me. There are so many people who lives lavishly without worries, no problems, everything is good, and they're not good people.
Anyway, back to my uncle. Two days ago the result came out. It is lymphoma, blood cancer, stadium 3. For most people when you are diagnosed with cancer at this stage it's like a death sentence. Even though you are treated with chemotherapy or radiotherapy it will only prolong your life in about 3 to 4 years ahead. Then again age is in God's hands, but theoretically, that is your life span. The one thing that struck him the most was the fact that he'd been living a healthy life to that point. I remember a hadits or some saying that says, "A Muslim has to believe that everything comes from Allah, good and bad." Allah doesn't give bad things to make you miserable. Instead Allah is giving you opportunity to prove that you have the endurance and patience to go through it all, and you will be rewarded. Read the Qur'an and please tell me do all those Rasuls experience good life throughout their life? NO. Allah always emphasized that we will be tested like all those before us.
He cried during my last visit. I think he's scared, I know I will if I were him. I know it's tough to be positive when you are sick. But being positive is your way out of it. He's scared he will be a burden, scared there won't be enough money, scared of dying I think. I pray that Allah blesses him with endurance, patience and spirit to go through it all. I pray that Allah blesses his family with wealth, health and patience to go through it all.
When you have money, you can buy everything. But you can't buy health. If I were to choose to be rich or to be healthy, I choose health. I need to remind myself every now and then when I complain we are not getting richer and other people have more money than us.
To cut the story short, he was admitted to a hospital in Jakarta due to high fever. When they checked his Hb was very low. They suspected he got anemia hemolitic. He stayed in hospital for 1 month and didn't get better. The family decided to look for second opinion, so they came to Singapore, NUH to be exact.
The first day they came he was very weak so they went straight to the hospital. The doctor suspected that the treatment in the first hospital was too harsh, therefore leaving him neither better or worse. This is his 3rd day in NUH and they are still doing biopsy. No medicines yet, only panadols and blood transfusion.
I visited him yesterday. He was transfused with new blood cos his Hb was very very low. 6 I think, below the normal count which is 10.
My aunt said he rarely gets sick, no health problems, healthy habits, good life. My uncle said, "this is like getting slapped in the face by Allah".
Even when you are so healthy, you take care of yourself, you still don't know when Allah decided to test you. We can't really expect our lives to be smooth all the way even though we wished to. It's scary sometimes when you think about it. At times like this I'm always reminded of my good friend. She suffered from an unknown illness for years, only taking painkillers, do MRI etc and she looked mighty brave. She never complained. She shared stories but not to the point of complaining. I wonder if she ever cries.Only recently she found out it was fibroid myalgia. The sister is schizophrenic and the mother now is in hospital. Sometimes I think Allah loves her so much that Allah tested her to that point. Sometimes I think it's unfair to me. There are so many people who lives lavishly without worries, no problems, everything is good, and they're not good people.
Anyway, back to my uncle. Two days ago the result came out. It is lymphoma, blood cancer, stadium 3. For most people when you are diagnosed with cancer at this stage it's like a death sentence. Even though you are treated with chemotherapy or radiotherapy it will only prolong your life in about 3 to 4 years ahead. Then again age is in God's hands, but theoretically, that is your life span. The one thing that struck him the most was the fact that he'd been living a healthy life to that point. I remember a hadits or some saying that says, "A Muslim has to believe that everything comes from Allah, good and bad." Allah doesn't give bad things to make you miserable. Instead Allah is giving you opportunity to prove that you have the endurance and patience to go through it all, and you will be rewarded. Read the Qur'an and please tell me do all those Rasuls experience good life throughout their life? NO. Allah always emphasized that we will be tested like all those before us.
He cried during my last visit. I think he's scared, I know I will if I were him. I know it's tough to be positive when you are sick. But being positive is your way out of it. He's scared he will be a burden, scared there won't be enough money, scared of dying I think. I pray that Allah blesses him with endurance, patience and spirit to go through it all. I pray that Allah blesses his family with wealth, health and patience to go through it all.
When you have money, you can buy everything. But you can't buy health. If I were to choose to be rich or to be healthy, I choose health. I need to remind myself every now and then when I complain we are not getting richer and other people have more money than us.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Usaha vs Hasil
Sekarang ceritanya lagi usaha "bikin" anak lagi. Ternyata ga gampang ya haha. Kita sudah mencoba beberapa kali belum sukses juga. Selain faktor masa subur masih banyak faktor-faktor lainnya seperti tingkat stress, badan yang fit, suasana kondusif dan lain-lain. Terus terang memang sekarang kondisinya tidak kondusif buat kami. Suami masih bolak balik Jkt Singapur, kita cuma ketemu 2minggu sekali weekend doang pula. Aku di kantor lagi sibuk menggila.
Kebetulan kita satu tim ada 3 orang, 1 cuti 2bulan, 1 resign. 3-2=1 engineer=AKU. Otomatis kerjaan 3 engineer numpuk di 1 engineer. Tepatnya selama bulan Februari ini hampir tiap hari aku kerja menggila. Tiap hari ada aja yg harus diissue, yang diminta orang, yang diminta bos, dll. Cape, stress, campur jadi satu. Belum lagi masalah rumah yang gak jelas. Pembantu harus cabut bulan Mei lah, dll dll dll. Cape sungguh sampe mau lari tapi gak bisa. Setiap kali mens datang antara lega karena masih ada kesempatan untuk kerja menggila (karena aku gak punya pilihan, kalo aku hamil dan ga fit di kantor siapa yang bantu bos?) tapi kecewa karena aku tidak tahu what I did wrong.
What's wrong is the timing. My physical capabilities, my work, my conditions. I didn't know it would be so fatal when you are planning for a baby. But I guess aside than fate, it plays a role as well. I don't know when all this will subside. I'm planning to continue trying until we succeed and try to think positive.
Kebayang ya yang susah hamil gimana sedihnya tiap bulan berharap hamil tapi mens selalu dateng :(. Emang rejeki itu di tangan Tuhan ya, kita menjemput, Allah memberi. Optimis sajalah, badai pasti berlalu, proyek pasti selesai dan masa tenang akan tiba.
Kebetulan kita satu tim ada 3 orang, 1 cuti 2bulan, 1 resign. 3-2=1 engineer=AKU. Otomatis kerjaan 3 engineer numpuk di 1 engineer. Tepatnya selama bulan Februari ini hampir tiap hari aku kerja menggila. Tiap hari ada aja yg harus diissue, yang diminta orang, yang diminta bos, dll. Cape, stress, campur jadi satu. Belum lagi masalah rumah yang gak jelas. Pembantu harus cabut bulan Mei lah, dll dll dll. Cape sungguh sampe mau lari tapi gak bisa. Setiap kali mens datang antara lega karena masih ada kesempatan untuk kerja menggila (karena aku gak punya pilihan, kalo aku hamil dan ga fit di kantor siapa yang bantu bos?) tapi kecewa karena aku tidak tahu what I did wrong.
What's wrong is the timing. My physical capabilities, my work, my conditions. I didn't know it would be so fatal when you are planning for a baby. But I guess aside than fate, it plays a role as well. I don't know when all this will subside. I'm planning to continue trying until we succeed and try to think positive.
Kebayang ya yang susah hamil gimana sedihnya tiap bulan berharap hamil tapi mens selalu dateng :(. Emang rejeki itu di tangan Tuhan ya, kita menjemput, Allah memberi. Optimis sajalah, badai pasti berlalu, proyek pasti selesai dan masa tenang akan tiba.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Pamer VS Sharing
Kedua kata ini sebenernya artinya mepet bukan dari segi harfiah tp dari segi penerapan. Contoh:
"Aku baru punya mobil baru loh, Mercedes terbaru, suamiku baru dapet bonus" VS "Akhirnya punya mobil juga setelah sekian lama, mudah2an bermanfaat". Intinya sama sama memberi tahu punya mobil baru, tapi detil dan penyampaiannya yg membedakan.
Kalo aku pribadi suka jengah sama orang-orang di social network yang merasa sharing padahal buat aku yang denger terdengar pamer. Sharing seharusnya tidak berlebihan dan bersifat informatif yang mungkin berguna jika orang lain tau. Tentunya penyampaiannya pun harus tepat supaya tidak berkesan sok tau yang jadinya bikin terkesan pamer juga. Sulit memang ya memuaskan semua pihak. Kalo kata orang-orang, niat baik kok tetap tergantung persepsi orang yang menerima, aku kan juga punya hak di dunia ini.
Menurut aku lagi, justru karena kita tidak bisa menerka nerka reaksi orang yang menerima kita harus lebih hati-hati. Misalnya kita tidak bisa berharap semua orang menerima apa yang kita sampaikan dengan baik. COntoh: kita pakai bikini ke pantai tujuannya baik, suntanning. Kita tidak bisa mengatur persepsi orang yang melihat kita pakai bikini. Gak bisa juga kita bilang, ah itu sih gimana otak orang yang melihat. Itu dia yg tidak bisa kita atur.. Lantas kalo terjadi apa-apa kita bisa menyalahkan isi otak orang yg melihat?
Sama seperti status FB ato twitter, kecuali kita yakin dan kenal betul smua teman kita dan follower kita ada baiknya semuanya dipikirkan ulang sebelum dikirim. Terutama yang menyangkut sharing. Sharing seperti, "Duh akhirnya kebeli juga tas seharga 5juta rupiah yang sudah lama diimpikan" sepertinya tidak perlu ya. Karena tidak ada faedahnya bagi orang yang membaca. Kalau mau menginfokan ke teman dekat sih ya gak apa apa.
Sekali lagi, mindset bahwa apa yang mau kukatakan di blog/FB/twitter terserah gw sepertinya harus dipikir ulang lagi. Dulu interaksi sosial selalu lewat kata2 dari mulut, ato bertatap muka. Dari situlah adab berkomunikasi terbentuk. Sekarang coba kutanya, lebih banyak mana ketemu teman via chatting atau via tatap muka setiap harinya? Jadi adab komunikasi juga tetap harus dijaga.
Bagi teman-teman yang seperti saya, jengah dengan yang sosial interaksi pamer yang mengatasnamakan sharing ada baiknya menjaga mata. Semua yang tidak baik anggap saja tidak pernah ada, alias lewatin aja gitu daripada nambah dosa. Ignorance is bliss darling :D
"Aku baru punya mobil baru loh, Mercedes terbaru, suamiku baru dapet bonus" VS "Akhirnya punya mobil juga setelah sekian lama, mudah2an bermanfaat". Intinya sama sama memberi tahu punya mobil baru, tapi detil dan penyampaiannya yg membedakan.
Kalo aku pribadi suka jengah sama orang-orang di social network yang merasa sharing padahal buat aku yang denger terdengar pamer. Sharing seharusnya tidak berlebihan dan bersifat informatif yang mungkin berguna jika orang lain tau. Tentunya penyampaiannya pun harus tepat supaya tidak berkesan sok tau yang jadinya bikin terkesan pamer juga. Sulit memang ya memuaskan semua pihak. Kalo kata orang-orang, niat baik kok tetap tergantung persepsi orang yang menerima, aku kan juga punya hak di dunia ini.
Menurut aku lagi, justru karena kita tidak bisa menerka nerka reaksi orang yang menerima kita harus lebih hati-hati. Misalnya kita tidak bisa berharap semua orang menerima apa yang kita sampaikan dengan baik. COntoh: kita pakai bikini ke pantai tujuannya baik, suntanning. Kita tidak bisa mengatur persepsi orang yang melihat kita pakai bikini. Gak bisa juga kita bilang, ah itu sih gimana otak orang yang melihat. Itu dia yg tidak bisa kita atur.. Lantas kalo terjadi apa-apa kita bisa menyalahkan isi otak orang yg melihat?
Sama seperti status FB ato twitter, kecuali kita yakin dan kenal betul smua teman kita dan follower kita ada baiknya semuanya dipikirkan ulang sebelum dikirim. Terutama yang menyangkut sharing. Sharing seperti, "Duh akhirnya kebeli juga tas seharga 5juta rupiah yang sudah lama diimpikan" sepertinya tidak perlu ya. Karena tidak ada faedahnya bagi orang yang membaca. Kalau mau menginfokan ke teman dekat sih ya gak apa apa.
Sekali lagi, mindset bahwa apa yang mau kukatakan di blog/FB/twitter terserah gw sepertinya harus dipikir ulang lagi. Dulu interaksi sosial selalu lewat kata2 dari mulut, ato bertatap muka. Dari situlah adab berkomunikasi terbentuk. Sekarang coba kutanya, lebih banyak mana ketemu teman via chatting atau via tatap muka setiap harinya? Jadi adab komunikasi juga tetap harus dijaga.
Bagi teman-teman yang seperti saya, jengah dengan yang sosial interaksi pamer yang mengatasnamakan sharing ada baiknya menjaga mata. Semua yang tidak baik anggap saja tidak pernah ada, alias lewatin aja gitu daripada nambah dosa. Ignorance is bliss darling :D
Monday, February 6, 2012
Asha Goes to Pre-school aka Playgroup.
Asha is 2 years old now. I was planning to put her to school when she's 2.5 years old. No particular reason really.. I just want her to make friends, learn new things, other than the TV can teach. I am not particular about the school also. My main concerns so far are only distance, and monthly fee. It's gotta be nearby, within walking distance or by bus, and not so expensive.
Now we are a bit in a lot of uncertainties. My maid may leave us in May. So we will have new adjustments to do.Then I started researching on schools nearby.
1. PCF kindergarten.
They have a few centres around my areas. But only 2 centre have the prenursery classes. Unfortunately when I asked they have different pricing for foreigners and locals, which so unfair (expected of PAP). Foreigners fee will be double of the locals fee. So all those are so not worth it.
2. Zulfa kindergarten.
It is an Islamic kindergarten. I went on Saturday morning to register Asha. But maybe not my luck, it was closed for Maulid Rasul. I think maybe Allah had arranged it so because I wasn't sure about sending her there. It was far and hot!! 1km of walk just for a 3hrs class and there is no direct bus. They have transport bus but Asha is still too small to go alone on it. If later I change maid then I am not sure whether the new maid can manage her chores while waiting for Asha 3 hours outside the class. To walk back and forth is a bit time consuming I find.
Zulfa playgroup class is 3 days a week, each session is 3 hours. Their fee is reasonable, $140 a month.
3. Star tots Playgroup
It is just next to my block. I didn't expect much of it at first because it looked a bit expensive from the banners. I opened their website and it was expensive. But, it turned out I looked at the wrong page XD. They have a lot of programmes, not just for playgroups. They have various courses and programmes, so I was lost on their website. I called them up and managed to get into the right page.
Their class is 5 days a week each session is 2 hours. It is slightly more expensive, $175 a month EVEN for foreigners (huh, take that, PAP). After hearing about the fee and read through the curriculum, insyaAllah I am no more in doubt. I think I have found a good school that suits my needs.
Later when she's in kindergarten I will send her to Zulfa. But for now I just want her to learn while having fun with lots of friends. In that case, I need to introduce her to Islam at home. So I signed her up for Star Tots Bismillah.
I didn't go searching high and low for the BEST school, cause I don't need the best, I only want that suits my needs. So it took me 1-2weeks to search. Alhamdulillah and InsyaAllah it is the best for Asha and me.
-wiji- :)
Now we are a bit in a lot of uncertainties. My maid may leave us in May. So we will have new adjustments to do.Then I started researching on schools nearby.
1. PCF kindergarten.
They have a few centres around my areas. But only 2 centre have the prenursery classes. Unfortunately when I asked they have different pricing for foreigners and locals, which so unfair (expected of PAP). Foreigners fee will be double of the locals fee. So all those are so not worth it.
2. Zulfa kindergarten.
It is an Islamic kindergarten. I went on Saturday morning to register Asha. But maybe not my luck, it was closed for Maulid Rasul. I think maybe Allah had arranged it so because I wasn't sure about sending her there. It was far and hot!! 1km of walk just for a 3hrs class and there is no direct bus. They have transport bus but Asha is still too small to go alone on it. If later I change maid then I am not sure whether the new maid can manage her chores while waiting for Asha 3 hours outside the class. To walk back and forth is a bit time consuming I find.
Zulfa playgroup class is 3 days a week, each session is 3 hours. Their fee is reasonable, $140 a month.
3. Star tots Playgroup
It is just next to my block. I didn't expect much of it at first because it looked a bit expensive from the banners. I opened their website and it was expensive. But, it turned out I looked at the wrong page XD. They have a lot of programmes, not just for playgroups. They have various courses and programmes, so I was lost on their website. I called them up and managed to get into the right page.
Their class is 5 days a week each session is 2 hours. It is slightly more expensive, $175 a month EVEN for foreigners (huh, take that, PAP). After hearing about the fee and read through the curriculum, insyaAllah I am no more in doubt. I think I have found a good school that suits my needs.
Later when she's in kindergarten I will send her to Zulfa. But for now I just want her to learn while having fun with lots of friends. In that case, I need to introduce her to Islam at home. So I signed her up for Star Tots Bismillah.
I didn't go searching high and low for the BEST school, cause I don't need the best, I only want that suits my needs. So it took me 1-2weeks to search. Alhamdulillah and InsyaAllah it is the best for Asha and me.
-wiji- :)
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