I remember when I was a young teenager, how being there for your loved ones when they need you the most is very very important. You can fight with boyfriends and shout out things like, "where were you when I needed you?". When I got married I guess I pretty much thought that my husband will be there for me whatever happens.
Reality is... he won't be. Especially when his job requires him to be overseas once in a while (on my case it's been like that for the last year). Sometimes when I need him, I can't contact him. When I'm down I can't contact him, he's busy or whatever. When our daughter is sick, he's not there to share the burden. So much for the fairy tale life I wanted.
At this rate I'll end up being a typical Javanese super woman. I handle household matters, kids matters, and he just needs to find money. I feel a bit sad really. I feel somewhat egoistic but in a way I feel that it's my right to ask. In a way I feel that I should be able to handle everything, but I just don't want to. But you know what, that is what is happening exactly. We are turning into a typical Javanese family. Where the father is never there and the mother handles everything.
I feel that family should not be second best. Reality is, if your family doesn't support your career, they say you don't want your husband to advance. So really, at this age, career is first priority don't you think? I try my best not to complain. But sometimes getting answers like, "what to do, this is my job" or "you have to understand this is my job" makes me feel like we're only accessories to his life. Does he ever say to his boss things like, "what to do, it's my family" or "you have to understand, I have family". I don't think so.
In the end, no human being can guarantee they'll always be there for me. This is the end of my fairy tale wishes. If there is one that I can never lose is Allah. Anytime anywhere, closer than my veins. So why should I feel sad or down or lonely?
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