Maybe I'm writing this just to reassure myself that I have no interest in publicity and even though I don't agree with people who are just worshipped by public or who has gathered some fans community herself, it is still their rights to do so.
I don't do things cause it was hip, or cause it was happening, or whatever. I do things if it challenges me, interests me, and I find beneficial. I don't brag about it cause what is the point?
I don't like to follow the crowd, just because I think that it is hip. But truthfully, those who sets a trend I think is incredible. They can bring people to follow their hobby even if I find it too much to share. Oh please, just to run, you have to buy new shoes (a couple really), buy new sets of clothes (I run with whatever I HAVE), you've got to have theme songs, you've got to participate in so many runs in a year (oh and btw, the runs aren't free).
It's just an example of the recent hip thing, Maybe people who do it in the end find it more beneficial but honestly, I don't like the hoo-hah on the start and process. I do run too, for different reasons, and I don't run for distance, or because it's hip or whatever. I run because it took my mind of things, and I felt fresher because of it. I have started way back before it was hip. I only ran like once or twice a week, when I needed a fresh air. I only ran one or two rounds the block because I found it had served its purpose. I have friends who run with a group, and they participate in competitions so many times, and they REALLY practiced runs. So this new hip thing, well they somehow run together. I so wonder how long this is gonna last.
I am not a social person I guess. I like meeting new people new friends, but following trends isn't really my style. I don't buy many expensive bags cos what is the point? I never say it wasn't tempting, I just found that I don't need them. I have 2 Kate Spade bags and I think they are good enough. Me and trends just don't go along I guess.
I found that I don't need to be anyone else to be accepted into society. I like being who I am, do things that I do for my own reasons and stay hidden in one corner.
Since a long time ago I have always lived my life for myself. So why bother to try so hard to live on something just to be accepted?
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Week 36 Going 37
Waktu melahirkan udah makin dekat nih. Selama2nya ya 3mingguan lagi ya. Eyke masih ngantor sih. Mulai minggu kemarin kontraksi Braxton Hicksnya makin kenceng. Masih irregular, tapi udh mulai sakit. Mules gitu juga kadang-kadang dateng, kadang kaya kram perut. Lagi tidur pun berasa sakit. Tp menurut gw sakitnya masih bearable dan irregular jd ga dianggap serius.
Hari Jumat lalu cek up dicek CTG kontraksi masih irregular, belum ada bukaan juga, dan bayi baru halfway down, belum fully engaged.
Hari Jumat lalu cek up dicek CTG kontraksi masih irregular, belum ada bukaan juga, dan bayi baru halfway down, belum fully engaged.
I Have Delivered a Baby Girl!!!
My last post was on 35weeks. Now I'm supposed to still be on my 39+ weeks, it's just that I have delivered 5 days ago.
It was a bit unexpected, because it was really early for me. Last time I delivered late, 40+4days, this time round I delivered on 38+4days.
On my 38weeks check up the gynae said I was 3cm dilated. BUT, during Asha times I was 2cm dilated for DAYS. So I wasn't really expecting much. But last time I was 2cm dilated on my 40weeks itself, so I thought this one might be slightly earlier. So she gave me hospitalization leave so I can wait quietly at home.
On the next day I felt slightly painful regular contractions and flowing fresh blod perhaps due to the internal examinations the gynae performed yesterday. So I went back to see the gynae, she said still no progress and told me to go home and monitor. It was on a Friday. So I thought oh well, might as well go for some walks, get some good food, because in the next 1 month I won't be going anywhere without breastfeeding. Two nights went by, and no signs of strengthening contractions.
On Saturday, was my chiropractic appointment. My bloody plug came off in the morning. But that was it. No increase on contractions, it was just the usual irregular painful contractions. So I went there, did some adjustments, and went home.
On Sunday morning I decided to pray, because there were no more blood coming out. After prayer, I laid down for a while and felt like I peed on my pants. I went to the toilet, empty my bladder. But my panties were still wet. Everytime contraction came fluids came out. Water bag broke? I was pretty sure I didn't pee so I called Bram who was out for jogging and immediately went to hospital.
The delivery wards were all occupied but ONE. So they sent me in there. As usual, only the stand by doctors were there and they were all very young. The doctor checked to see if it was really waterbag and not piss, and IT WAS my waterbag! They checked baby's position and they said she was still very high up and the cervix was still long and tight (whatever that means). They literally shoved their hands in (two doctors had to check because apparently the other one's hands couldn't reach my cervix location). After that they checked contractions. Not much. Pain scale? I said 4-5.
They called my gynae to ask am I to be induced. After they got a go at it they induced me with a tablet. It was put inside the vagina and I wasn't to move for an hour to ensure that it went all the way in. They let me wait for 2 hours in the delivery ward for contractions, and said if there was still nothing they'll send me up to the ward to wait for contractions come. They put the tablet in at 10am. An hour went by, 1.5 hours, and it was time for lunch. They took off all CTG's, everything. Bram said I was having contractions every 2-3minutes but I could still take it. So I had my lunch and still joke around. After lunch THEN i felt the contractions. As usual it started out as more painful, then stronger, then all hell broke loose. Actually it was manageable, but I was shivering after each contraction and I was tired of breathing out the pain. One hour after contractions start, around 1pm, I begged for epidural.
I felt like it was taking forever for the doctor to come in and checked my opening. The doctor came in and I was 4cm dilated 80% effaced. And he said, "we better give her the epidural now before she's fully dilated." I was actually a bit pessimistic that it would be so fast. He did say when I first came in second time mothers most of the time can dilate full in no time.
A few minutes later (which felt like forever by the way) the anesthesist came, had me sign some papers, and (finally) injected me with the epidural and I felt INSTANT RELIEF! I am so sorry drug-free-natural-birth!! I tried my breathing, and everything I know and I thought God knows how long this would last!!! I only survived 1 hour of pain without no painkillers at all T___T. But I'm proud to say, I didn't scream, didn't pull my husband's hair, I was a lady in there with my breathing (which only lasted an hour).
After that the midwife came, her name was Judith and she was AWESOME mind you. Like half an hour after epidural was injected, she put cateter on me, prepared everything for delivery. Then she checked me and I was fully dilated! Just need to wait for baby to descend and of course doctor to come. I was shocked. It was super fast. No wonder the stand by doctor insisted to give me epidural right away.On the other hand maybe if I was a bit stronger and more patient I could avoid the epidural.
Just my luck, my baby decided to come out on the FIRST day of my gynae planned leave. So another doctor took over for her. Since she has treated me before I'm quite comfortable handled by her.
Anyway, this time round the epidural dose was not as strong as my first delivery. This time the dosage was just nice so I could still feel the tightening, contractions, and some cramps which I could still handle. The anesthesist said they want to keep it at 3-4 pain level.
So the midwife was the one who guided me thru the initial pushing part. She did it in such a way that I managed to push without pushing too hard. She told me to push in a position that the baby would be able to slide out. She was really calming and she made me feel very relaxed.
After a few pushes she crowned and Judith asked, "do you want to touch her head? It's a preview" I said, "No, I'll wait till she comes out wholly" :D. We waited for the doctor to come and I pushed her out. It was so smooth and easy and I wasn't stressed at all. The most amazing thing that I didn't feel during my first delivery was delivering the baby. This time I could feel everything, when she crowned, when she slid, when she came out fully. I didn't have episiotomy to Judith's guides on how-to-slide-the-baby-out. I only have some slight tear and some bruises. Which the doctor sewed back in no time. The doctor said I made way for a 3.5kg baby previously so if this one was smaller it's not a wonder that it came out smoothly.
By the way, point to note, for both deliveries I experienced some heavy bleeding after baby and placenta were out. I didn't realize it was not normal, cos the first time round my gynae did not really mention it as something serious to me. But I remembered she was also a bit concerned about it. The doctor told me to mention it before delivery if there was another one coming in the future.
She was 3105g 48cm at birth. We named her Aura Diandra Adiratna.. In short, we call her Rana, and she was beautiful...
Alhamdulillah this time round my birth experience was a very good memorable one. If I were to have a third one, one couldn't help but wish it to be at least this memorable.
It was a bit unexpected, because it was really early for me. Last time I delivered late, 40+4days, this time round I delivered on 38+4days.
On my 38weeks check up the gynae said I was 3cm dilated. BUT, during Asha times I was 2cm dilated for DAYS. So I wasn't really expecting much. But last time I was 2cm dilated on my 40weeks itself, so I thought this one might be slightly earlier. So she gave me hospitalization leave so I can wait quietly at home.
On the next day I felt slightly painful regular contractions and flowing fresh blod perhaps due to the internal examinations the gynae performed yesterday. So I went back to see the gynae, she said still no progress and told me to go home and monitor. It was on a Friday. So I thought oh well, might as well go for some walks, get some good food, because in the next 1 month I won't be going anywhere without breastfeeding. Two nights went by, and no signs of strengthening contractions.
On Saturday, was my chiropractic appointment. My bloody plug came off in the morning. But that was it. No increase on contractions, it was just the usual irregular painful contractions. So I went there, did some adjustments, and went home.
On Sunday morning I decided to pray, because there were no more blood coming out. After prayer, I laid down for a while and felt like I peed on my pants. I went to the toilet, empty my bladder. But my panties were still wet. Everytime contraction came fluids came out. Water bag broke? I was pretty sure I didn't pee so I called Bram who was out for jogging and immediately went to hospital.
The delivery wards were all occupied but ONE. So they sent me in there. As usual, only the stand by doctors were there and they were all very young. The doctor checked to see if it was really waterbag and not piss, and IT WAS my waterbag! They checked baby's position and they said she was still very high up and the cervix was still long and tight (whatever that means). They literally shoved their hands in (two doctors had to check because apparently the other one's hands couldn't reach my cervix location). After that they checked contractions. Not much. Pain scale? I said 4-5.
They called my gynae to ask am I to be induced. After they got a go at it they induced me with a tablet. It was put inside the vagina and I wasn't to move for an hour to ensure that it went all the way in. They let me wait for 2 hours in the delivery ward for contractions, and said if there was still nothing they'll send me up to the ward to wait for contractions come. They put the tablet in at 10am. An hour went by, 1.5 hours, and it was time for lunch. They took off all CTG's, everything. Bram said I was having contractions every 2-3minutes but I could still take it. So I had my lunch and still joke around. After lunch THEN i felt the contractions. As usual it started out as more painful, then stronger, then all hell broke loose. Actually it was manageable, but I was shivering after each contraction and I was tired of breathing out the pain. One hour after contractions start, around 1pm, I begged for epidural.
I felt like it was taking forever for the doctor to come in and checked my opening. The doctor came in and I was 4cm dilated 80% effaced. And he said, "we better give her the epidural now before she's fully dilated." I was actually a bit pessimistic that it would be so fast. He did say when I first came in second time mothers most of the time can dilate full in no time.
A few minutes later (which felt like forever by the way) the anesthesist came, had me sign some papers, and (finally) injected me with the epidural and I felt INSTANT RELIEF! I am so sorry drug-free-natural-birth!! I tried my breathing, and everything I know and I thought God knows how long this would last!!! I only survived 1 hour of pain without no painkillers at all T___T. But I'm proud to say, I didn't scream, didn't pull my husband's hair, I was a lady in there with my breathing (which only lasted an hour).
After that the midwife came, her name was Judith and she was AWESOME mind you. Like half an hour after epidural was injected, she put cateter on me, prepared everything for delivery. Then she checked me and I was fully dilated! Just need to wait for baby to descend and of course doctor to come. I was shocked. It was super fast. No wonder the stand by doctor insisted to give me epidural right away.On the other hand maybe if I was a bit stronger and more patient I could avoid the epidural.
Just my luck, my baby decided to come out on the FIRST day of my gynae planned leave. So another doctor took over for her. Since she has treated me before I'm quite comfortable handled by her.
Anyway, this time round the epidural dose was not as strong as my first delivery. This time the dosage was just nice so I could still feel the tightening, contractions, and some cramps which I could still handle. The anesthesist said they want to keep it at 3-4 pain level.
So the midwife was the one who guided me thru the initial pushing part. She did it in such a way that I managed to push without pushing too hard. She told me to push in a position that the baby would be able to slide out. She was really calming and she made me feel very relaxed.
After a few pushes she crowned and Judith asked, "do you want to touch her head? It's a preview" I said, "No, I'll wait till she comes out wholly" :D. We waited for the doctor to come and I pushed her out. It was so smooth and easy and I wasn't stressed at all. The most amazing thing that I didn't feel during my first delivery was delivering the baby. This time I could feel everything, when she crowned, when she slid, when she came out fully. I didn't have episiotomy to Judith's guides on how-to-slide-the-baby-out. I only have some slight tear and some bruises. Which the doctor sewed back in no time. The doctor said I made way for a 3.5kg baby previously so if this one was smaller it's not a wonder that it came out smoothly.
By the way, point to note, for both deliveries I experienced some heavy bleeding after baby and placenta were out. I didn't realize it was not normal, cos the first time round my gynae did not really mention it as something serious to me. But I remembered she was also a bit concerned about it. The doctor told me to mention it before delivery if there was another one coming in the future.
She was 3105g 48cm at birth. We named her Aura Diandra Adiratna.. In short, we call her Rana, and she was beautiful...
Alhamdulillah this time round my birth experience was a very good memorable one. If I were to have a third one, one couldn't help but wish it to be at least this memorable.
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