Birth Story #3

Remember my last post 38wks ++?? Well shortly after that i had continuous contractions and gave birth before midnight LOL. Exactly at 38+1 wk.

So on that day, 19 June 2017, after the check up and the membrane sweep I went back to the office and wrote that blog. I was determined to wrap up my part of the report before my maternity leave which I expected to start a few days later. So I had my lunch and in the meantime I was having continuous contractions. I of course timed them as usual. Initially it was every 10 minutes for half an hour and increased to every 6-5minutes lasted about 40-60 secs, which I blamed on the sweep. And so I waited... and browsed... and still writing my report... 1 o clock and it persisted. I suddenly had the continuous urge to pee and every time I walked to the toilet I still got contractions regularly. I ate, I drank so much it still persists. At this point I was doubting myself, is it possible that it's the real thing and the sweep actually induced it?

I started asking my friends who had sweep before. One of them had it similar, but hers were just 20mins apart which means mine were the real thing!!! I called the labor ward they asked me to come in. Finally at 3 pm I called my husband and asked him to pick me up. In the meantime I was chit chatting with friends while contracting every 5mins and they were all scared I was going to pop there and then. I knew it won't be that fast so I was still relaxed. It was still bearable even though it was starting to get painful. My husband reached office around 4pm and we went to the hospital. The parking lot was far so he asked me to go in first. I told him I'd wait for him outside A&E rather than going in too soon and we need to pay for labor ward LOL.

So we went in, told the A&E officer that I was having contractions every 5 minutes or so then they pushed me to the labor ward. I changed into the hospital gown and peed where I saw a lot of blood which means labor is on its way. Up to this point it all felt surreal, too fast. The doctor in charge was checking me inside, she said it was still tight and baby was still high (same with Rana previously). My contractions were pretty regular though. I was 4cm dilated by this point. Not too painful yet. She called my gynae, and told me that they were going to burst my water bag. Asked me if I had considered any pain killer aka epidural. I said will it be bad after water is broken? she said most definitely, so it was the time if I wanted to do it. At that time I was almost 5cm dilated if I'm not wrong, it was around 6pm. Then the anesthesist injected the epidural. By this time contractions were more intense and shorter. After it was all done my gynae came and checked everything, she burst my water bag and since it was still a little tight she said she's gonna head home first. Meaning baby is not coming out in a short while.

This time round the epidural only numb my area on the right side. From below the waist I feel nothing on both sides. However on my left side I could feel all contractions. The doctors and nurses left me since 7 pm, checking occasionally. The last time they checked was at 8pm. I couldn't sleep. I could stll feel all contractions on the left side. Bram was sleeping soundly though. Every hour I called the nurse to ask when is the doctor coming. Then around 10 pm the doctor came and checked, I was fully dilated! However head was still high, so they asked me to push slowly while waiting for Dr Anita to come. They said will be coming in 20 minutes.

Within that 20 mins I kept pushing, and I could feel him coming. With each push I could feel the contractions getting stronger, then I started screaming, I can't hold it, I need to keep pushing. Dr Anita came at the last minute. As she was changing into her gown, they lowered my bed because the baby was sliding out while she was still changing. She held him just in time to twist his shoulder around. Then he was born. He was perfect. He weighed 2.975kg. Cried so loud until he was placed on my breast and his dad sang him the adzan. Then he stopped crying.

Afterwards Dr Anita said my bleeding didn't stop, my uterus wasn't contracting back as quickly as it was supposed to. She put me on drip and under observation for 1 hour in the labor ward. Then she stitched me. After 1 hour I was cleared to go to the normal ward. As the nurse took out the bag which held my blood I was so shocked. It was A LOT!

I really think I'll miss this experience because I truly hope this will be my last time giving birth. Each and every one of them is precious and I remember them all vividly.

With Love
Altair Ramadhan Rauf

Feminisme

Saya selalu berpikir bahwa saya adalah seorang feminis.


Itu dulu.


Sekarang saya sadar, feminisme itu tidak ada gunanya hahahahahaha. Saya bukan mendadak jadi ekstrimis ya, yang berpendapat wanita cocoknya di rumah, dapur dan kasur saja. Namun kenyataannya dunia ini tidak adil memang, dan ada yang harus selalu dikorbankan.

Wanita ketika sudah menikah, mengurus suami, masih bisa disambi. Tantangannya adalah ketika sudah punya anak. Terlalu banyak yang dipertaruhkan dan pada titik ini seorang wanita harus memilih prioritas, karir atau anak dan keluarga. Idealnya adalah bekerja di perusahaan yang memfasilitasi wanita berkeluarga, dengan memberi cuti lebih banyak dan leluasa misalnya, jam kerja fleksibel. Tapi realistis deh, berapa banyak perusahaan macam ini? Atau perusahaan yang memberi banyak kelonggaran pada wanita. Biasanya kalau ada pun kemungkinan karir mandek, gaji gak naik-naik, dan tidak besar penghasilannya.

Kemana itu perginya kesetaraan di tempat kerja bagi wanita dan lelaki. Bisa melakukan pekerjaan dengan kualitas yang sama kuantitas yang sama. Sebenernya kalau mau disetarakan setarakan ke bawah, lelaki diberi kelonggaran sama dengan wanita. Kembali pada realitas, perusahaan yang karyawannya macam ini kalau gak maju-maju ya ga berkembang.

Saya sekarang sih cari kerja gak muluk-muluk deh. Gaji udh prioritas nomer sekian. Prioritas pertama fleksibilitas jam kerja, bosnya baik apa gak, lokasi kerja, baru gaji. Kayanya lama-lama gaji berapapun asal cukup buat ngisi kegiatan dan uang saku saya terima deh.
Begitulah feminisme, semakin dihadapkan realita semakin tak mungkin. Karena kalau mau disetarakan dengan lelaki, kita gak perlu bereproduksi. Sekalian aja. Bukannya wanita tidak mampu, kita mampu. Namun karena lingkungan tidak mendukung dan realitanya berat sekali menyeimbangkan semuanya. Saya saja yang jam kerjanya dihitung fleksibel bgt, ga pernah dinas2 meninggalkan anak masih keteteran. Gimana yang sibuk banget?

Wanita seharusnya bukan dicap seharusnya di rumah, tapi diperbolehkan jika memilih tidak mau bekerja, dan jika memilih itu posisinya tidak lebih tinggi dan tidak lebih rendah dari wanita lain. Semua ini masalah pilihan.

Pada akhirnya saya menerima kalau wanita dan lelaki punya posisi masing-masing di masyarakat. Yang di rumah tidak lebih buruk yang bekerja tidak lebih baik. Namun baik juga sih kalau berkegiatan atau punya bisnis sendiri, sebagai wadah wanita untuk mengembangkan diri.