Birth Story #3

Remember my last post 38wks ++?? Well shortly after that i had continuous contractions and gave birth before midnight LOL. Exactly at 38+1 wk.

So on that day, 19 June 2017, after the check up and the membrane sweep I went back to the office and wrote that blog. I was determined to wrap up my part of the report before my maternity leave which I expected to start a few days later. So I had my lunch and in the meantime I was having continuous contractions. I of course timed them as usual. Initially it was every 10 minutes for half an hour and increased to every 6-5minutes lasted about 40-60 secs, which I blamed on the sweep. And so I waited... and browsed... and still writing my report... 1 o clock and it persisted. I suddenly had the continuous urge to pee and every time I walked to the toilet I still got contractions regularly. I ate, I drank so much it still persists. At this point I was doubting myself, is it possible that it's the real thing and the sweep actually induced it?

I started asking my friends who had sweep before. One of them had it similar, but hers were just 20mins apart which means mine were the real thing!!! I called the labor ward they asked me to come in. Finally at 3 pm I called my husband and asked him to pick me up. In the meantime I was chit chatting with friends while contracting every 5mins and they were all scared I was going to pop there and then. I knew it won't be that fast so I was still relaxed. It was still bearable even though it was starting to get painful. My husband reached office around 4pm and we went to the hospital. The parking lot was far so he asked me to go in first. I told him I'd wait for him outside A&E rather than going in too soon and we need to pay for labor ward LOL.

So we went in, told the A&E officer that I was having contractions every 5 minutes or so then they pushed me to the labor ward. I changed into the hospital gown and peed where I saw a lot of blood which means labor is on its way. Up to this point it all felt surreal, too fast. The doctor in charge was checking me inside, she said it was still tight and baby was still high (same with Rana previously). My contractions were pretty regular though. I was 4cm dilated by this point. Not too painful yet. She called my gynae, and told me that they were going to burst my water bag. Asked me if I had considered any pain killer aka epidural. I said will it be bad after water is broken? she said most definitely, so it was the time if I wanted to do it. At that time I was almost 5cm dilated if I'm not wrong, it was around 6pm. Then the anesthesist injected the epidural. By this time contractions were more intense and shorter. After it was all done my gynae came and checked everything, she burst my water bag and since it was still a little tight she said she's gonna head home first. Meaning baby is not coming out in a short while.

This time round the epidural only numb my area on the right side. From below the waist I feel nothing on both sides. However on my left side I could feel all contractions. The doctors and nurses left me since 7 pm, checking occasionally. The last time they checked was at 8pm. I couldn't sleep. I could stll feel all contractions on the left side. Bram was sleeping soundly though. Every hour I called the nurse to ask when is the doctor coming. Then around 10 pm the doctor came and checked, I was fully dilated! However head was still high, so they asked me to push slowly while waiting for Dr Anita to come. They said will be coming in 20 minutes.

Within that 20 mins I kept pushing, and I could feel him coming. With each push I could feel the contractions getting stronger, then I started screaming, I can't hold it, I need to keep pushing. Dr Anita came at the last minute. As she was changing into her gown, they lowered my bed because the baby was sliding out while she was still changing. She held him just in time to twist his shoulder around. Then he was born. He was perfect. He weighed 2.975kg. Cried so loud until he was placed on my breast and his dad sang him the adzan. Then he stopped crying.

Afterwards Dr Anita said my bleeding didn't stop, my uterus wasn't contracting back as quickly as it was supposed to. She put me on drip and under observation for 1 hour in the labor ward. Then she stitched me. After 1 hour I was cleared to go to the normal ward. As the nurse took out the bag which held my blood I was so shocked. It was A LOT!

I really think I'll miss this experience because I truly hope this will be my last time giving birth. Each and every one of them is precious and I remember them all vividly.

With Love
Altair Ramadhan Rauf

Feminisme

Saya selalu berpikir bahwa saya adalah seorang feminis.


Itu dulu.


Sekarang saya sadar, feminisme itu tidak ada gunanya hahahahahaha. Saya bukan mendadak jadi ekstrimis ya, yang berpendapat wanita cocoknya di rumah, dapur dan kasur saja. Namun kenyataannya dunia ini tidak adil memang, dan ada yang harus selalu dikorbankan.

Wanita ketika sudah menikah, mengurus suami, masih bisa disambi. Tantangannya adalah ketika sudah punya anak. Terlalu banyak yang dipertaruhkan dan pada titik ini seorang wanita harus memilih prioritas, karir atau anak dan keluarga. Idealnya adalah bekerja di perusahaan yang memfasilitasi wanita berkeluarga, dengan memberi cuti lebih banyak dan leluasa misalnya, jam kerja fleksibel. Tapi realistis deh, berapa banyak perusahaan macam ini? Atau perusahaan yang memberi banyak kelonggaran pada wanita. Biasanya kalau ada pun kemungkinan karir mandek, gaji gak naik-naik, dan tidak besar penghasilannya.

Kemana itu perginya kesetaraan di tempat kerja bagi wanita dan lelaki. Bisa melakukan pekerjaan dengan kualitas yang sama kuantitas yang sama. Sebenernya kalau mau disetarakan setarakan ke bawah, lelaki diberi kelonggaran sama dengan wanita. Kembali pada realitas, perusahaan yang karyawannya macam ini kalau gak maju-maju ya ga berkembang.

Saya sekarang sih cari kerja gak muluk-muluk deh. Gaji udh prioritas nomer sekian. Prioritas pertama fleksibilitas jam kerja, bosnya baik apa gak, lokasi kerja, baru gaji. Kayanya lama-lama gaji berapapun asal cukup buat ngisi kegiatan dan uang saku saya terima deh.
Begitulah feminisme, semakin dihadapkan realita semakin tak mungkin. Karena kalau mau disetarakan dengan lelaki, kita gak perlu bereproduksi. Sekalian aja. Bukannya wanita tidak mampu, kita mampu. Namun karena lingkungan tidak mendukung dan realitanya berat sekali menyeimbangkan semuanya. Saya saja yang jam kerjanya dihitung fleksibel bgt, ga pernah dinas2 meninggalkan anak masih keteteran. Gimana yang sibuk banget?

Wanita seharusnya bukan dicap seharusnya di rumah, tapi diperbolehkan jika memilih tidak mau bekerja, dan jika memilih itu posisinya tidak lebih tinggi dan tidak lebih rendah dari wanita lain. Semua ini masalah pilihan.

Pada akhirnya saya menerima kalau wanita dan lelaki punya posisi masing-masing di masyarakat. Yang di rumah tidak lebih buruk yang bekerja tidak lebih baik. Namun baik juga sih kalau berkegiatan atau punya bisnis sendiri, sebagai wadah wanita untuk mengembangkan diri.

38Wk ++

Loads of BH contractions for the past 2 weeks. Mostly ranging every 20-30minutes to 1 hour. This past week it had become more painful which I can feel in my sleep. I got lots of tightening which I have no idea if it's BH or it's just last tri pain. But those that comes with pain and cramps and backpain I categorized into BH. It didn't increase in intensity or coming closer.

This morning was my Obgyn appointment. I didn't gain weight at all since my last appointment 10 days ago. His weight must have stabilized to get ready for birth. My cervix was open, dilated about 2 cm and she helped me with membrane sweep to hasten the pace. We'll see in a few days whether I go into labor. With Asha I went into labor 4 days after I was dilated, with Rana was also similar. I hope this one comes before Hari Raya.

Bismillah. May Allah ease things for me and given me and the baby perfect health and condition during labor and beyond.

36 Weeks ++

This week I can feel the baby's head is further down my pelvis. The movements are also much much lower. These few days I can feel BH coming more frequent and painful.

Konon bayi diatas 36minggu gerakannya makin sedikit. Bayi ini kyny gak gitu deh. Tendangannya msh kenceng, sikutannya masih kuat. Saking rutinnya bergerak gw sampe ga ngitungin 10 gerakan dlm 12 jam... Kadang kalo gerak bikin kram peruuuuttt. BH contractions ada kali sekitar 0.5-1 jam sekali. Gatau deh maksudnya apa, ntar lagi brojol apa ga ngefek hahahahaha.
Yang jelas ga enak bgt. Kalo lg BH contractions lg jalan rasanya kenceng, pelvis berat, dan kadang kepalanya ky mo jatuh ke bawah. Belum lagi kadang2 gw bisa merasakan tulangnya bergesekan dengan tulang pelvis gw. Asli ngeri bin ngilu!!

Masih ngantor, jalan kaya siput, makan udh mulai enak (lagi), masalah ambe datang dan pergi tp selama gw bener2 ga makan pedes plus rutin makan pepaya sih sejauh ini udah ga bengkak dan sakit lagi. Pas boker sih masih keluar tapi terus masuk lagi. Kaki mulai agak bengkak, sejak beberapa minggu lalu. Kenaikan timbangan sekitar 7-8 kg. Rekor terkecil bgt ini mah. Udah mulai gampang cape, alhamdulillah tidur masih nyaman (kan ada tu

Appointment sama dokter masih 3 hari lg. Mudah2an pas dicek udh ada bukaan ato udh menipis gitu cervix liningnya. One can only hope, but the decision is never mine *sigh. Harus banyak2 doa ajalah ini sih.

32 Wks +++

I did my last scan and my check up this morning.

Some updates:

- Baby is head down, in a correct position (that explains all the pressure down below)
- He weighs 1.9kg, about 43 percentile, all other measurements were normal, averaging in 37 percentile which means he's not too big not too small. However his femur length was on the 80 percentile which means he's got long legs.
- Still a boy XD, his elephant and his balls were clearly seen.
- To my husband's utter disappointment his nose seems to follow mine but who knows right?

My hemorrhoid is much much better Alhamdulillah. Still a little itchy after I pass motion and it still came out but afterwards will go back in. I religiously stick to the non spicy diet and consume more water and some servings of yogurt and fruits every day. The doctor was more concerned about my low blood count. During my 12 wk blood test it was 10.9, now it went down to 10.7. So she perscribed a higher dosage of iron pill. She also continued my Daflon to take every day plus the stool softener.

I can feel the baby's weight on my pelvis. Getting more difficult to walk now because everytime I walk he will wiggle and stretch and hit a nerve which is just so uncomfortable. If he's not moving it's just heavy. He is definitely hanging low.

Next appointment is in 2 more weeks. Getting closer to my D-day! I am so anxious. Hopefully this one will come early too! I don't think I can bear carrying this weight everywhere I go for 8 more weeks!!

30 Wks +++

All these happened last week.. Because I was in so much pain I only managed to write about it now.

Long story short.. On Thursday, my piles came back, with a VENGEANCE! IT WAS HORRIBLE!!

Thursday (27 Apr)
- Morning passed motion. Piles came out as usual, I pushed it back in. Some came out and I just brushed it aside. Went to NTU, went to have lunch, went to NUH. I notice it had become more painful. When I saw my gynae she said it really looked bad and when I went to the toilet, touched it, the ones that came out were big!! My gynae gave me Daflon and lactulose since I still had the cream. I couldn't push it back in, it was hardened and painful.

Friday
I couldn't move! Sitting down irritates it, walking irritates it. All I could do was lay down. I was in so much pain otherwise. Going to pee was also painful. I didn't even have any desire to pass motion. I was hoping it would shrink soon.

Saturday
It was still painful. Some part shrunk but most of it were still bulging. I tried soaking my butt in warm water which relieved it for a moment. Then to avoid friction I wrapped the piles in gauze. Which HURT when I took them off.

Sunday
No progress. The piles started to bleed for no reason at all. I had to wear my menses pad on my back side to absorb the blood. I thought the piles popped. It kept on bleeding and I kept on sleeping on my sides. Some piles have shrunk but the front piles was as hard as ever without any signs of getting smaller.

Monday
Felt like the piles were smaller because I could sit! Then I went to Gardens by the bay with some friends having picnic. Reached home, soaked my butt in the basin and the blood was dripping and the piles skin was hanging down my butt! OMG! I was horrified and it stung. So I slept and let it rest.

Tuesday.
I couldn't go to work again. The piles were still bloody and I wondered whether it was time for me to go to A&E and had it checked out. Since the bleeding kept on going. SO I WENT. I got there, saw the doctor, she took a look and said, "OK. I'm gonna try to push it back in" AND TO MY HORROR SHE DID!!! I CRIED AND SCREAMED. Halfway she stopped and told the nurse, "we'll stop first, give her some lidocaine gel and leave it on for a while then we'll try again " (I was still sobbing). So I waited about 30 minutes and I was pessimistic the numbing gel would work. And so she came back in again, and NO, the numbing gel DIDN'T HELP. She pushed it in all the way telling me to relax (WTH!?).
After that, the piles stayed in. I felt a slight relief but it was still a bit painful and stung.
She said the piles which stayed outside don't get the blood flow moving. Which makes it trapped there. And the bleeding was due to constant friction. I've had external piles before, they also bled, but resolved by itself in a few days. I suspected due to my ever growing belly the blood flow to my butt was not as it has always been, which caused it to delay the healing process. Piles were in but it still hurt to sit. So I lay sideways in the car on the way home.


Wednesday
I was on sick leave. I was feeling better. Tried to pass motion and managed to without irritating my existing piles. It did came out but soft enough to push back in. I was having second thoughts about going to colorectal specialist. I knew I needed to get moving to get my blood flowing to my butt. I am trying to keep my diet as fibrous as possible. I am going to eliminate chilli and spicy food from my diet, meat for a while, chips, heaty food, minimize carbs. I'm only taking DHA supplements, stopping iron and calcium for the moment. I'm taking garlic pills, vitamin C. I expect to do this all the way to my delivery date. For the sake of not suffering the same fate ever again. At least I want to prevent it from flaring up in this pregnancy.

So, lessons learned, whatever happens, keep that piles in, If you can't keep it in. DO NOT MOVE until it's back in. If it doesn't, just apply creams and limit movement. On every onset of piles, STOP spicy food for a time period. It's better than the pain over external bleeding hard piles.

27 weeks

Yesterday I went for my yoga class. And in the morning I woke up with sore pelvis. I think yesterday I did too many poses that opened my legs wide apart. I am so scared that the SPD will come and visit me again soon. I'll try my best to rest and avoid aggravating it more... I wish it's just post exercise soreness and not SPD.

This means I must be more careful in the future. I read on the internet that I must avoid hip wide apart poses. Try to keep my legs together most of the time. And I need to inform my yoga instructor so I don't need to do poses that can further trigger my SPD. I checked with my previous blog that it was around this times that my SPD was triggered. Maybe because I'm entering my 3rd trimester that everything just became more loose. So far it's just sore. InsyaAllah it won't get worse with precautions.

I saw my gynae early this week. Did my OGTT test for gestational diabetes. They didn't call me so that means my test was good Alhamdulillah. As of this week I have gained 4 kgs. With previous pregnancy by this time I hv gained maybe almost 10kgs LOL.

Baby is moving actively. His movements are more on the lower abdomen area so sometimes he'd kick my bladder which was so uncomfortable. I'm also getting random Braxton Hicks daily, especially when I'm tired. I'm starting to feel uncomfortable in my pelvis area, like a pinching pain inside the channel. I'm not sure why.

My food intake seems to increase this week. So maybe within this month I can gain 1.5kg total. When he's moving I can recognize his bulging hands/knees/whatever was poking from the outside. I don't remember feeling this so soon before. I'm starting to get more tired compared to before... It just seems nowadays I need more zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

25 Weeks ++

This week I feel heavier... I'm getting bigger too. I think he has changed position. My sciatic nerve aren't as annoying anymore. It's still sore but not as bad.

Fatigue has started to hit me this week as I'm nearing my third trimester. My stomach also start to feel occasional tightening this week

So far I've gain maybe 3-4kg? According to my scale at home it's around 3kg. We're starting to look for names and we still haven't fixed anything yet.

At work I need to clear my report by early June, which is 2 months away. But it's not so bad, I just need to do it slowly.

22 weeks ++

On Monday I saw my gynae and I got my travel letter! Alhamdulillah I'm clear to fly on the 11th March. Indonesia here we come!

Baby is kicking all the time now. My appetite is better, though I still only take rice once or twice every week. No more scan until early May.

End of March I'm supposed to do my DM blood test. Praying so hard everything goes smooth until delivery and beyond. InsyaAllah vaginal delivery if possible, smooth breastfeeding journey etc etc etc.

My 21Week Scan

So yesterday I had my detail and gender scan. It took about half an hour. The baby was sleeping I guess he didn't stir much. It was difficult to check his spine due to the fact that he laid on his back.

At the beginning we found out the gender first. The sonographer asked whether I want to know the gender. I said yeah sure. You know already right, she said. Iwas like huh? (stared blank at the monitor). I did see some sort of a round thingy in between the legs. But isn't it supposed to look like a trunk? It's a BOY she said. My husband confirmed and said he saw something stuck out behind the ball which I was oblivious to.

Alhamdulillah all praises to God the baby has complete organs, so far everything is good. Developing normally. It's about 400grams now. I gained 1kg in a week which is good. BP was normal. InsyaAllah Allah will ease everything until birth and beyond.

So now that I know I'm carrying a boy a bit of pressure went off me.
Looking back kind of makes me think was there REALLY a difference pregnant with boys or girls?

Let's see whether my pregnancy fits the old wives tale...
1. Tummy low and grows forward -> true for me
2. Big appetite: : nope. This might be in fact my most un-appetizing pregnancy ever
3. Crave meat : i crave fruits, soup, and anything that is not RICE
4. More emotionally stable: True dat
5. My girl toddler is so attached to me :  true but maybe just coincidence? She's very independent and suddenly since beginning of the pregnancy she became overly attached. She even consistently predicted she'll have a brother
6. Crave salty : hmmmmm, not quite true. I do crave wafers once in a while
7. No morning sickness : Well, I do get night sickness, not morning sickness
8. Pregnancy glow : I do have good hair and skin even though small pimples broke out in the beginning.
9. Heart rate 140 and below: Nope, the first USG saw his heartrate was 168
10. Chinese gender chart: Well unfortunately, majority of the chinese calender I tested said girl.
So true for 4 out of 10?

From my personal experience the difference in pregnancies are:
1. The way I carry. Since the beginning the tummy have been sticking out. For both of my girls I started out all around.
2. Morning sickness. I don't get morning sickness, just night sickness and it never switched. With my girls I get morning AND evening sickness.
3. Appetite. With my girls, once the sickness subsided I ate like a monster. All that goes in, never comes out (at least in 2nd tri), and I have cravings. Various cravings. With this one, I eat to survive. I've never had horrible sickness but once I eat too much I throw up. NO cravings whatsoever. Because sometimes what I crave is not what I can eat. This is as I mentioned, my healthiest pregnancy ever. The only thing that I don't throw up when I overeat is FRUITS! And I crave fruits almost every single day and they say fruits cravings mean girl.
4. Lots of energy. Well, carrying girls maybe more exhausting. Because all I ever wanted to do with them was SLEEP. I always took afternoon naps with my girls. This one? I'm an energizer bunny until night sets in.
5. Sex drive. Carrying girls twice increased my sex drive. Carrying this boy, I think I could care less of when was the last time I did it hahahahaha
6. Cow milk consumption. I think this has nothing to do with gender. It just so happens that THIS time, I can drink low fat cow milk. I still can't bear full cream milk and ice cream. With my girls I couldn't take it. And they developed an allergy to milk and eczema.

Every pregnancy is different, but though pregnancies with both girls were different, there were similarities. Even though this third one is different there are some similarities.
But like I said, I'm feeling boy. And maybe it's a mother's instinct. In the end, a healthy baby is what is most important. So whatever gender it is, they are still a blessing.

20 Weeks ++

Alhamdulillah! Half way to go!

Next week is my detail scan+my gender scan. So excited and anxious, I don't know, I hope so much for a boy but I don't want to be too disappointed if it's a girl.

We prepared names already. For a boy it's gonna be Altair Ra'uf, for girl it'll be Aeris Raifa. Altair is the name of the main character in PS game, assassin's creed. Ra'uf is one of the asmaul husna which means compassionate. Aeris is one of the character in FFVII game, Raifa is the female version of Ra'uf. So yes, this time the theme is VIDEO GAME CHARACTERS!!!!!

My husband is so into games we thought to put it onto one of our kids' names. I love Assasin's creed and FF, though I'm no gamer.

This week's update:

1. Still limited rice for me.... Seriously I can eat rice once a week!
2. Weight gain within this month I guess about 1-1.5kg. My stomach is expanding forward. So far no water retention anywhere.
3. Baby moves so actively now. Kicking, punching here and there. Turning about. It's so busy in there. It's still staying on my right side. It's so difficult to sleep now on my sides, especially my right side. .
4. I still vomit occasionally, especially if I overstuff myself.
5. Snacking wise, I eat go naturals fruits n nuts (expensive!!), fruits, nuts. Now trying to switch to plain HiLo milk, so far so good.
6. I got brownish discharge with pulling sensation below. Just to ensure everything's fine I went to A&E. Cervix was closed, no bleeding, only leftover brownish inside, heartbeat was found, no infection. So alhamdulillah everything was fine. The discharge came out from nowhere. Maybe from my ever expanding uterus. I do expand really fast these past 2-3 weeks.

Hoping for a healthy troublefree pregnancy and a smooth (hoping for normal vaginal) delivery.

Pre-natal Yoga

I have been doing the yoga exercises for 1 year now. I found that it benefits my body a lot. It tightens my stomach muscles, train my unused muscles, and rebalance my body. I have been asking my friends to try and do it since it's good for physical exercise. But I guess most of my Muslim friends stick to the haraam fatwa since it's a Hindu tradition, hence it's considered a religious thing.

I still continue to do it though because in my class:
1. There's no Indian music or chanting. It's purely stretching, exercising, concentrating, and breathing.
2. No meditation whatsoever.
3. I found no traces of Indian religious practices.

Therefore in my own understanding, insyaAllah it's safe. Well, even though for a "truly" Islamic point of view it's not REALLY Islamic. Things like, a mixed class, male instructor etc etc etc. But I try my best to dress up as covered as possible.

Ever since I got pregnant, I remembered for my previous 2 I didn't exercise. I got lots of complaints and discomforts. So this time round I tried to continue my yoga class. Since my instructor is also a licensed prenatal yoga instructor. So I took a beginner's class with modified movements. The class was small so it was easy to look after 1 pregnant lady.

I'm planning to do this til the delivery day, but I'll see how it goes. I've attended 3 classes and felt refreshed. I hope everything goes well

17 Weeks +++

Ending my 17 wk count soon. This week I can slightly feel my baby move. Previously I felt something but I thought it was just gas, well, guess not. It's always on my right side. But not every day. Now is nearing 18 weeks and I'm feeling nothing again.

So far everything's good. No more vomiting whatsoever (expect occasionally when I eat something that triggers my acid reflux). Still not a big fan of canned drinks, plain water (replaced with infused lemon water. I do drink lots of plain water in the wee hours), chocolates, plain white rice, instant noodles, coconut milk food based, sweet stuff (except candies). All those food still make me throw up.

A huge fan of soupy stuff (noodles, udon, ramen), pastas, anything sour and salty, spicy stuff, fresh fruits, veggies, lattes (1 cup a day max, I swear!).

It's pretty much my healthiest pregnancy appetite ever (except the latte). I now even can drink strawberry milk in the morning, considering I couldn't drink cow milk AT ALL during both previous pregnancies. I don't crave specific things much. Any food is fine as long as I don't eat PLAIN RICE. Nasi lemak, nasi uduk, nasi liwet, nasi goreng are fine. I do WANT UDON so much these days but haven't found it yet. I like meat, chicken skin (SERIOUSLY!), but plain spiceless chicken meat me no likey.

Not a big fan of snacking as well. I snack on fruits cause most snacks are not filling and in the end they are just creating gas in my stomach making it uncomfortable. So snack a bit, filled up with fruits.

This time round I also have pimples popping out on my forehead, chin, nose. But I think it's settled down now. My hair seems to be healthier and it has more volume (preparation before the "autumn of hairfall season" after birth I guess). Enjoy all while it lasts.

I don't look pregnant if you see me from the front or the back, but I do look "bigger" seen from the side.
My next check up is still in 4 weeks time. By then I'll be 22 weeks, and we can see the gender. I'm feeling a boy to be honest but it can still be a girl. I'll get lots of pity if it's another girl though. Humans!

15 weeks+

I went to see the doctor today for my 4th month checkup. Not gonna see her anymore until my 22 weeks when my scan is due. Being pregnant is expensive. I've spent hundreds of dollars for checkups, scans, and supplements. Later on my 5th month I need to pay the package until delivery date.

Turns out when nobody knows you are pregnant time goes by so fast. To tell you the truth, I look like I have a bloated tummy. That's all. I forgot how I looked like with my previous 2. I remembered I was considering myself as huge. This is my smallest pregnancy ever. At the end of the 4th month I only gained a few hundred grams. I don't snack much, because snacking doesn't help me at all. It just makes me hungrier. I'd rather eat an early meal rather than snacking. My bra size is still the same, when I wear my night gown my tummy does look bulging. But when I wear my pants it just hides. Without a tummy it's really tough to break the news. I can still tuck my tummy in....

However, I show when I sit down XD.

Today's checkup was good. Heartbeats are strong, my haemoglobin is a bit low tho. So she prescribed iron pills, calcium, and neurogain. Supplements for 2 months are already expensive (sigh).

I think so far that's all. I hope everything goes well until the end and beyond Bismillah.

How Do I Break The News?

Well, the truth is, almost nobody knows I'm pregnant. I don't even suspect it myself hahaha. I do have a bulging tummy but with my loose clothes it's totally not visible. I need to break the news sooner or later but I find the longer I wait the harder it is to tell.

The perks of no one knows that you're pregnant is... everyone treats you the same. You feel no excuse from everything you do. You don't sulk when you don't get a seat in the bus or MRT. You do normal activities. No kepo questions and statements, "boy or girl" or "you look big" or "you look small", etc etc etc. Nobody gives you unnecessary comments or precautions, don't do that, don't eat that. I just want to be pregnant in peace.

Considering that overall (despite the nausea and throwing up at the beginning) I am generally healthy. ALHAMDULILLAH. No spotting so far, no unbearable headaches, no fevers (I got this a lot with #1). Which is why I was able to keep it secret. If I were so sick I couldn't get out of bed, I don't think I could keep it up this long.

I'm entering my 16th week soon and I totally forgot when did I feel my baby move for the first time for my previous children. Nothing yet so far. Only some rumbling of gases inside my tummy. I remembered for #2, At 5 months I already felt so heavy.  I was so big with my previous 2.

I need to tell my parents soon though.... and my in laws. Gosh this is my most secretive phase of life so far!

14 Weeks ++

Two weeks ago I had my NT Scan. Because during my 10th wk (supposedly) check up, it seems my gestational age was actually further along by 1 week, so at that time I was already 11+5 week. So the doctor gave me an appointment for NT scan for the following week, and by then I finally got my due date, 2 July 2017.

That was a little hard to digest. My menses was erratic and on October I had spotting from 1-3 October, then it was normal flow all the way to 7th Oct. Looking at the GA, it seems I conceived immediately after menses ended, which is on the 9th Oct. Initially I calculated my due date from the 3rd Oct, which gives me a due date on 9th Jul. When I told the doctor that and she saw my scan, she asked me whether my menses was irregular, I said well, it ranges between 26-30 days and sometimes it started with few days spotting. Which she concluded as irregular (I really don't know what is regular anymore).

So that makes me 14wks + 4 days pregnant now. 

So let's see....

I've been feeling great since the start of the week. I don't vomit anymore. Night time intake still less though. No obvious physical change so far, Since 2 weeks ago I started peeing in the middle of the night. Last week there were a few headache events which I suspected were due to dehydration (I only managed to increase my water intake in the last few days).Week 12 and 13 were my most fatigued times. My motion sickness is lessening now. I still have gas occasionally, not as bad though. So I guess my "REAL" first trimester ended at the end of 13 weeks. 

Still not a big fan of instant noodles, and chocolates.

Next week I'm seeing the gynae to discuss the NT scan and blood test results. Hopefully everything's good InsyaAllah.

Update:
The DS test showed that I'm low risk, Alhamdulillah. However my urine shows some infection, so I needed to redo my urine test, if it still shows infection they'll call me up to collect my prescribed meds. It also shows that my haemoglobin was only 10.9, which is LOW. I was prescribed sangobion for 2 months and I think they'll do another blood test to see how it goes.