Remember my job search a little while back? Actually not a little while but a few months back hahahaha. Well, my prayers really was answered. I prayed for the best solution for me and family. So hopefully that is what I get, the best.
Before McD finally took me in, I interviewed in a few places. Looking back, and considering the development in oil and gas industry I am grateful.
Intecsea. I interviewed here in February I think. No news from them, and I think I didn't do very well on the interview. Turns out that they closed their branch in KL, retrenched half of their employees in Perth. Singapore office is so far not retrenching anyone but I guess they don't have many projects. Alhamdulillah I didn't get an offer from them.
Technip. I interviewed here on March or April if I'm not wrong. Actually this is a very good company. They have projects everywhere. Quite busy with jobs. I suck horrendously during the interview. But looking back, I don't think I would've survived with that kind of boss anyway. Alhamdulillah I wasn't given an opportunity to be given an offer..
Swiber. I was quite hopeful on this one. Since it is located near my old office, so it wouldn't be so bad. They never even contacted me for an interview. I was quite sad. Felt hopeless. Then one of my friend moved there, and I heard she said that the working environment is not good. Not sure how bad it was though. But I was glad they didn't call me for an interview.
I applied for so many positions, so many times without luck. Til I finally gave up and rest easy waiting for whatever happens next. Then McD happens. Alhamdulillah. I've got my doubts, I've got my worries, but I believe that this is Allah's answer to my prayers, so I just need to make it into the best for me and my family.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Friday, August 30, 2013
About Breastfeeding In Public
I am a breastfeeding mom. I'd love to use nursing rooms if there is one in the place that I'm going to. Well, sometimes if there is one, it's fully occupied. If I go to a park, and there is no nursing room, where do I go? If you're not a mom, can you imagine yourself starving till you want to faint if you don't eat asap? Well, babies are the same. So they will wail.. and I will be breastfeeding with my cover on anywhere. Sitting down, standing up, whereever I am.
Apparently here in Singapore, it has become a big fuss. Lately a mother who was breastfeeding in a restaurant was chased off. And I've heard stories about breastfeeding mom being scolded for breastfeeding in public.
I personally think, and I think most mothers will think this way, breastfeeding in public is perfectly fine. As long as you are covered well. I'd think nobody would even know you are breastfeeding. Actually I have that sense of pride when I'm breastfeeding and people glance at me. I feel that I'm giving what's best for my baby and how convenient it is.
On the other side of the world, a lot of breastfeeding moms are protesting as well. It turns out that on that side of the world, some people are against nursing in public too. They too experience being chided for nursing in restaurants, etc. Were they exposing her breast? NO! They covered their breast. And I think it is more than what women in bikinis cover. So therefore,there are lots of pics in moms magazines that shows a kid nursing on his mom, and the mom is exposing their breast, stating that breastfeeding is not pornography. If you get turned on by looking at a mom nursing its bubs, then something is wrong.
Okay, so by giving such an offensive reaction to breastfeeding, what you get is such an extreme response. Everyone is angry. Like, in what way do we disgust you by breastfeeding under the cover? Or is it because we cover up that you are not enjoying it?
Seriously, if I were to be scolded for breastfeeding in public, I would prepare a list of such intelligent things to say. For you breastfeeding moms, don't be shameful of doing so. If you think you are right, just keep doing in with you chins held high :)
Apparently here in Singapore, it has become a big fuss. Lately a mother who was breastfeeding in a restaurant was chased off. And I've heard stories about breastfeeding mom being scolded for breastfeeding in public.
I personally think, and I think most mothers will think this way, breastfeeding in public is perfectly fine. As long as you are covered well. I'd think nobody would even know you are breastfeeding. Actually I have that sense of pride when I'm breastfeeding and people glance at me. I feel that I'm giving what's best for my baby and how convenient it is.
On the other side of the world, a lot of breastfeeding moms are protesting as well. It turns out that on that side of the world, some people are against nursing in public too. They too experience being chided for nursing in restaurants, etc. Were they exposing her breast? NO! They covered their breast. And I think it is more than what women in bikinis cover. So therefore,there are lots of pics in moms magazines that shows a kid nursing on his mom, and the mom is exposing their breast, stating that breastfeeding is not pornography. If you get turned on by looking at a mom nursing its bubs, then something is wrong.
Okay, so by giving such an offensive reaction to breastfeeding, what you get is such an extreme response. Everyone is angry. Like, in what way do we disgust you by breastfeeding under the cover? Or is it because we cover up that you are not enjoying it?
Seriously, if I were to be scolded for breastfeeding in public, I would prepare a list of such intelligent things to say. For you breastfeeding moms, don't be shameful of doing so. If you think you are right, just keep doing in with you chins held high :)
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Are We Humans? Or Are We Robots?
This morning I do my usual routines. I took a shower, I went to work. Took the same route, went on the same train, got down in the same station. Everyone was so busy with their smartphones. And when I wanted to go inside the lift, suddenly a bunch of people rushed to the lift. They did not look around, did not smile. They went straight to the lift, queuing up to go in, didn't look around whether there are more people who needed it more who wanted to go in.
Then it struck me. Is this what the Singaporeans have become? Robots? We care less about others. We give our empty seats just because if we don't our face will be all over stomp. Not because we feel that it's the right thing to do. I am not a Singaporean by blood, but I've lived here for quite sometime, so more or less I'm part of the society. So maybe I am a robot too.
There's no more warmth, no more empty conversation to warm up your day, no tolerance. People just go to work, go home, and mind your own business. I never even talked to my neighbor who lives right across our house!!!
Seriously people, are you happy with this kind of life?? You chase career, you chase money, all those for what? For you to lose your humanity and become robotized?
Then it struck me. Is this what the Singaporeans have become? Robots? We care less about others. We give our empty seats just because if we don't our face will be all over stomp. Not because we feel that it's the right thing to do. I am not a Singaporean by blood, but I've lived here for quite sometime, so more or less I'm part of the society. So maybe I am a robot too.
There's no more warmth, no more empty conversation to warm up your day, no tolerance. People just go to work, go home, and mind your own business. I never even talked to my neighbor who lives right across our house!!!
Seriously people, are you happy with this kind of life?? You chase career, you chase money, all those for what? For you to lose your humanity and become robotized?
Friday, May 17, 2013
Living as "Foreign Talent" in Singapore
I would like to share the bitter sweet life for the whole 7 years that I have spent here. I've lived through the big changes and I really think within these 7 years span lie the turnover point in Singaporean lives.
I came on 2006. Life was good back then. The city was vibrant with life but less crowded. Less(er) malls, I could still see green grasses, empty fields where Indians used to have their picnics and crickets. I could still hop on the train and sit on empty train all the way from BoonLay to Changi. Morning near NTU would come with a cold fog over it. When PR applications were 100% approved, when foreign workers were mainly Indians, Indonesians, and Malaysians.
I think the horrendous crowds started pouring in on the year 2008. All the Chinese started to move in, as well as the Phillippines and Burmese. Then the train started to get crowded. Now, 2013, I couldn't find an empty train. Not even midnight!!! Now all nationalities started pouring in. Even those from Europe are starting to crowd the place as well.
I am a foreigner and I am feeling more and more uncomfortable by the days. Back then bus drivers still smile, taxis were affordable, and people were nicer. I totally understand why the Singaporeans protested. If I could I would protest too. My only mistake is that I didn't think I'd live here long enough to consider taking up PR. Now I partly regret it.
If you are a foreigner and married, making more than S$10000 a month in one household, you'll be more than happy here. Alas, with the good transportation, good hygiene system, good education, safe environment. The government will love you too, it'll be easier for you to get your PR provided that they still have quota for your race. If you are earning S$ 6000 a month in a household and your wife stays home to take care of the kids, and you have no liabilities back home, you'll be just fine and can still save up. If you are single and earning S$ 3000 you can save up enough. If you are both working, have insurance to pay, house installment to pay, make sure your combined earning is more than S$ 6000 a month. If you have more than 1 kid going to school and you need a maid, being a foreigner I'd say you have to earn $7000-$8000. This is just rough estimates.
Companies here are pretty stingy, unless you get hired by big companies that is willing to pay for the whole family's medical expenses, vaccinations, etc. For most foreigners like me and husband, company don't pay for delivery fees, family's medical expenses, etc. THe company only pays for the employees, so I have one, husband has one. So we have to be money smart and save up for emergency situations. Paediatricians aren't cheap either. One consultation can cost $40-$80. Electricity bills can go as high as $250 a month. Not to mention food materials that are getting more expensive by the days.
Most of us here don't live in luxuries like it seems. Especially if you have 2 young kids and a maid in tow. I don't have that much money to spare to shop at Zara, or H&M or uniqlo. Well once every 4 months maybe. I only go out to eat at restaurants once or twice a month. I don't buy things that are more than 40$, unless I have saved up for it.
I am struggling to save up with the current living cost. Alhamdulillah I could still save up for 1-2 short vacation to Batam or Malaysia a year. Plus 1 trip back home every year. So I'm not complaining.
I am just writing this regarding things that you need to consider before moving here. For you singles, I'd say just jump over here and work. For families, you need to do some calculations before signing that contract. Yes, this country does have its benefits as I have stated above. But remember, not everything is as good as it seems. I've been in this country too long I guess :D
I came on 2006. Life was good back then. The city was vibrant with life but less crowded. Less(er) malls, I could still see green grasses, empty fields where Indians used to have their picnics and crickets. I could still hop on the train and sit on empty train all the way from BoonLay to Changi. Morning near NTU would come with a cold fog over it. When PR applications were 100% approved, when foreign workers were mainly Indians, Indonesians, and Malaysians.
I think the horrendous crowds started pouring in on the year 2008. All the Chinese started to move in, as well as the Phillippines and Burmese. Then the train started to get crowded. Now, 2013, I couldn't find an empty train. Not even midnight!!! Now all nationalities started pouring in. Even those from Europe are starting to crowd the place as well.
I am a foreigner and I am feeling more and more uncomfortable by the days. Back then bus drivers still smile, taxis were affordable, and people were nicer. I totally understand why the Singaporeans protested. If I could I would protest too. My only mistake is that I didn't think I'd live here long enough to consider taking up PR. Now I partly regret it.
If you are a foreigner and married, making more than S$10000 a month in one household, you'll be more than happy here. Alas, with the good transportation, good hygiene system, good education, safe environment. The government will love you too, it'll be easier for you to get your PR provided that they still have quota for your race. If you are earning S$ 6000 a month in a household and your wife stays home to take care of the kids, and you have no liabilities back home, you'll be just fine and can still save up. If you are single and earning S$ 3000 you can save up enough. If you are both working, have insurance to pay, house installment to pay, make sure your combined earning is more than S$ 6000 a month. If you have more than 1 kid going to school and you need a maid, being a foreigner I'd say you have to earn $7000-$8000. This is just rough estimates.
Companies here are pretty stingy, unless you get hired by big companies that is willing to pay for the whole family's medical expenses, vaccinations, etc. For most foreigners like me and husband, company don't pay for delivery fees, family's medical expenses, etc. THe company only pays for the employees, so I have one, husband has one. So we have to be money smart and save up for emergency situations. Paediatricians aren't cheap either. One consultation can cost $40-$80. Electricity bills can go as high as $250 a month. Not to mention food materials that are getting more expensive by the days.
Most of us here don't live in luxuries like it seems. Especially if you have 2 young kids and a maid in tow. I don't have that much money to spare to shop at Zara, or H&M or uniqlo. Well once every 4 months maybe. I only go out to eat at restaurants once or twice a month. I don't buy things that are more than 40$, unless I have saved up for it.
I am struggling to save up with the current living cost. Alhamdulillah I could still save up for 1-2 short vacation to Batam or Malaysia a year. Plus 1 trip back home every year. So I'm not complaining.
I am just writing this regarding things that you need to consider before moving here. For you singles, I'd say just jump over here and work. For families, you need to do some calculations before signing that contract. Yes, this country does have its benefits as I have stated above. But remember, not everything is as good as it seems. I've been in this country too long I guess :D
Ditinggalkan
Ditinggal teman-teman satu persatu pindah ke perusahaan lain rasanya seperti hilang harapan. Asal muasal hijrah besar-besaran ini adalah karena sudah satu tahun perusahaan saya TIDAK ADA proyek. Manajemen bilang perusahaan ini masih bisa bertahan sampai tahun depan. Setelah itu wallahu alam. Kenyataan itu dan kebosanan tak terkira itu membuat amat sangat gelisah.
We all got mouths to feed, bills to pay, lifestyle to maintain (oke, yang ini sekunder). Dan saya termasuk yang posisinya paling lemah di perusahaan ini. Kenapa?
Sejak tahun 2009 memang pemerintah sini sudah membatasi PR approval, alias lebih diseleksi lagi. Sejak tahun lalu alias 2012 lebih parah lagi, karena penduduk lokal semakin keberatan pemerintah menambah pekerja asing (foreign talent) mereka pun memperketat Employment Pass (EP) approval. Mereka menaikkan batas gaji untuk EP, mengurangi kuota S Pass, bahkan dengar2 mereka akan membuat kuota buat EP (tadinya tidak ada). Alasan penduduk lokal karena pekerja asing ini adalah saingan laten bagi para pekerja lokal untuk mencari kerja. Memang sih, perusahaan kadang cenderung memilih untuk memperkerjakan pekerja asing. Kenapa?
Jadi penduduk lokal a.k.a PR dan Singaporean setiap bulannya gaji dipotong 20% untuk CPF ( the so called pension fund) dan masih bayar pajak tahunan. Sedangkan pekerja asing hanya perlu bayar pajak tahunan sekitar 5.5% di akhir tahun. Tentu saja dong, jadi perusahaan bisa memperkerjakan pekerja asing dengan gaji yg setidaknya 20% lebih kecil. Bahkan biaya yang harus dibayar perusahaan tiap bulan untuk tiap EP holders di perusahaan tidak sampai 20%.
Banyak bisnis tutup karena kuota pekerja asing diturunkan dan mereka tidak mampu melanjutkan usaha. Jika ingin terus lanjut maka harga barangnya harus dinaikkan, karena harus menggaet pekerja lokal yang notabene lebih mahal, mana bahan pokok juga mahal. Nah kalau harga barang/jasa dinaikkan, memang masih laku? Contoh: toko menjual bebek panggang seporsi S$10. Untuk terus beroperasi dia harus menaikkan biaya jadi S$20. Ada yang mau beli bebek panggang di coffeeshop harga segitu? I don't think so.
Kembali ke kasus saya. Kalau teman-teman saya orang lokal apply pekerjaan dan saya bersaing dengan mereka, untuk saat ini saya kalah telak. Kecuali saya mau dibayar murah dengan kualitas sama. Tapi yang bener aja, tinggal disini juga tidak murah loh.
Jadi memang tinggal tetap berusaha mencari pekerjaan baru dan terus tawakkal. Semoga ditunjukkan yang terbaik, diberi yang terbaik, dan dalam proses, diikhlaskan menjalaninya. Aamiiin
We all got mouths to feed, bills to pay, lifestyle to maintain (oke, yang ini sekunder). Dan saya termasuk yang posisinya paling lemah di perusahaan ini. Kenapa?
Sejak tahun 2009 memang pemerintah sini sudah membatasi PR approval, alias lebih diseleksi lagi. Sejak tahun lalu alias 2012 lebih parah lagi, karena penduduk lokal semakin keberatan pemerintah menambah pekerja asing (foreign talent) mereka pun memperketat Employment Pass (EP) approval. Mereka menaikkan batas gaji untuk EP, mengurangi kuota S Pass, bahkan dengar2 mereka akan membuat kuota buat EP (tadinya tidak ada). Alasan penduduk lokal karena pekerja asing ini adalah saingan laten bagi para pekerja lokal untuk mencari kerja. Memang sih, perusahaan kadang cenderung memilih untuk memperkerjakan pekerja asing. Kenapa?
Jadi penduduk lokal a.k.a PR dan Singaporean setiap bulannya gaji dipotong 20% untuk CPF ( the so called pension fund) dan masih bayar pajak tahunan. Sedangkan pekerja asing hanya perlu bayar pajak tahunan sekitar 5.5% di akhir tahun. Tentu saja dong, jadi perusahaan bisa memperkerjakan pekerja asing dengan gaji yg setidaknya 20% lebih kecil. Bahkan biaya yang harus dibayar perusahaan tiap bulan untuk tiap EP holders di perusahaan tidak sampai 20%.
Banyak bisnis tutup karena kuota pekerja asing diturunkan dan mereka tidak mampu melanjutkan usaha. Jika ingin terus lanjut maka harga barangnya harus dinaikkan, karena harus menggaet pekerja lokal yang notabene lebih mahal, mana bahan pokok juga mahal. Nah kalau harga barang/jasa dinaikkan, memang masih laku? Contoh: toko menjual bebek panggang seporsi S$10. Untuk terus beroperasi dia harus menaikkan biaya jadi S$20. Ada yang mau beli bebek panggang di coffeeshop harga segitu? I don't think so.
Kembali ke kasus saya. Kalau teman-teman saya orang lokal apply pekerjaan dan saya bersaing dengan mereka, untuk saat ini saya kalah telak. Kecuali saya mau dibayar murah dengan kualitas sama. Tapi yang bener aja, tinggal disini juga tidak murah loh.
Jadi memang tinggal tetap berusaha mencari pekerjaan baru dan terus tawakkal. Semoga ditunjukkan yang terbaik, diberi yang terbaik, dan dalam proses, diikhlaskan menjalaninya. Aamiiin
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
2013 - Cost Efficient Year
After reviewing our cashflow, account balance, incomes and spending, I officially announce that this household will be cutting down further on spending. The PUB bills are just crazy. The government expect us who have babies to sleep in a non air conditioned room? In this weather? Well, if you want to use just pay up. Shoot!
Not to forget our daily spendings which are getting more and more expensive each day. I'm trying my best to save up at least 20% of our total income but it is just getting more and more impossible by the days. Now I'm down to saving up 13% of our total income. Well that is the big save which is for our future funds, be it any emergency, or in case we decided to go back to Indonesia and buy a house. My husband also save some money on him as well. But in my account, it is decreasing rapidly. Lucky I have partitioned my savings into a few portions, OCBC has this feature. So I portioned it into kids emergencies (just incase they are sick, their trip to the doc for normal illness is not covered by anyone you see), my own emergency funds, vacation funds, gold fund, etc. But the fund for my so called "foya-foya" spending is finishing up soon. :(.
Means I am cutting down on my shopping. I can't buy anything that is not necessary. So for the next few months, no new shoes, no new bags, no new clothes for myself. I think I can live with that. In the meantime I'll try to rebuild my savings again.
Apart from that, I really feel that we are actually underpaid. Our salary did not increase much, or at least it couldn't keep up with the national inflation. The only solution is to look for a new job that is paying higher. It's just that it's not that easy with the current economy depression.
Allah has arranged everything, I believe that behind every hardship there is a virtue. I'll try my best to apply for new jobs (again) and see how it turns out. If it's not meant for me, it means I just need to tone down my spending. After all, Allah does not like a life full of unnecessary luxuries. Maybe this is MY reminder in a way. To cherish what I have, make do of what I have. So stop whining, and start saving!! :D
Not to forget our daily spendings which are getting more and more expensive each day. I'm trying my best to save up at least 20% of our total income but it is just getting more and more impossible by the days. Now I'm down to saving up 13% of our total income. Well that is the big save which is for our future funds, be it any emergency, or in case we decided to go back to Indonesia and buy a house. My husband also save some money on him as well. But in my account, it is decreasing rapidly. Lucky I have partitioned my savings into a few portions, OCBC has this feature. So I portioned it into kids emergencies (just incase they are sick, their trip to the doc for normal illness is not covered by anyone you see), my own emergency funds, vacation funds, gold fund, etc. But the fund for my so called "foya-foya" spending is finishing up soon. :(.
Means I am cutting down on my shopping. I can't buy anything that is not necessary. So for the next few months, no new shoes, no new bags, no new clothes for myself. I think I can live with that. In the meantime I'll try to rebuild my savings again.
Apart from that, I really feel that we are actually underpaid. Our salary did not increase much, or at least it couldn't keep up with the national inflation. The only solution is to look for a new job that is paying higher. It's just that it's not that easy with the current economy depression.
Allah has arranged everything, I believe that behind every hardship there is a virtue. I'll try my best to apply for new jobs (again) and see how it turns out. If it's not meant for me, it means I just need to tone down my spending. After all, Allah does not like a life full of unnecessary luxuries. Maybe this is MY reminder in a way. To cherish what I have, make do of what I have. So stop whining, and start saving!! :D
Vibram 5 Fingers Review
This has been a delayed review for ages!!
All I can say is that it was great! Of course it comes in a package with a not-so-cheap price. Rather expensive I'd say. I bought this in Takashimaya SG for about S$ 159 and they rarely have discount. Oh but watch out for their booths in running events registration. My hubby bought his during Stanchar registration, on their promo booth outside. I think it was 15% disc which was a very good buy. It is great for running, or daily activities. When you walk or run, it felt like it was just your feet and the ground. Strangely it does not feel so hot or humid inside either. And when I took it off, my feet don't stink. So I guess the fabric IS breathable.
I totally forgot what model this is, but I bought this because of the color mainly. They have quite a few ranges, starting from the simplest one that is only for casual walking use only. The one that I bought is mainly for running, jogging, and casual use. I actually was looking for the one which can be used for trekking as well, but it wasn't pwetty so I didn't buy it hahahahaha. The only downside of this is just that maybe some people dislike the toe like shoes appearance, some people find it disgusting hahahahaa.
Overall rating: 5 out of 5!!!
All I can say is that it was great! Of course it comes in a package with a not-so-cheap price. Rather expensive I'd say. I bought this in Takashimaya SG for about S$ 159 and they rarely have discount. Oh but watch out for their booths in running events registration. My hubby bought his during Stanchar registration, on their promo booth outside. I think it was 15% disc which was a very good buy. It is great for running, or daily activities. When you walk or run, it felt like it was just your feet and the ground. Strangely it does not feel so hot or humid inside either. And when I took it off, my feet don't stink. So I guess the fabric IS breathable.
I totally forgot what model this is, but I bought this because of the color mainly. They have quite a few ranges, starting from the simplest one that is only for casual walking use only. The one that I bought is mainly for running, jogging, and casual use. I actually was looking for the one which can be used for trekking as well, but it wasn't pwetty so I didn't buy it hahahahaha. The only downside of this is just that maybe some people dislike the toe like shoes appearance, some people find it disgusting hahahahaa.
Overall rating: 5 out of 5!!!
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Single Parent for A Month
Sounds "lebay" but that's truly how I feel. Last time he was posted in Jakarta he managed to come back every 2 weeks for 1 whole year. That was hard at that time too.
This time it is 4 whole weeks alone, with two kids! The first time he left I thought, it's just a month. How bad could it be? 1 week went by, I was stressed. 2 weeks went by, I was stressed to the max! 3 weeks went by, anti climax. This is the last week, hopefully no bad surprises. I hate it.
The first week it was really tough for me and the kids. We are used to the routine of me handling Rana and Bram handling Asha. She is used to being tucked into sleep. So the first week was full of battle with me and Asha when I'm nursing and she wants to sleep as well. This battle only subsides by the end of second week. By the third week she can sleep by herself without me tucking her in.
The last 3 weeks I needed to wake up early to fetch Asha to school. No time for bfast, pumping, etc. Not just that, I needed to wash her face brush her teeth and shower her. So I needed to finish all my business first, so after all that all I needed to do is prepare for work. So every morning is a rush! Plus I don't know the bus schedule yet, so sometimes I waited so long for the bus to come.
Not to mention that Asha really demands my attention now that the dad is not around. I spent the first and second week taking her for a stroll on the neighborhood before bedtime. I was so exhausted.
Maybe I was more exhausted mentally, not sure why. Oh plus my interview that sucked big time! With no one to share it with. Now that all has gone to pass I don't even know what I was stressing about.
The point is the whole family is adapting to the situation. I went back to my old routine of taking her to school. Walk to MRT station everyday from work, and strangely I feel tired in a way, but I feel great too!
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A great turn over point, on Saturday hubby said he might come back earlier. He did! He arrived yesterday. Turns out it was just 3 weeks of lonesome parenting. And Asha is still as demanding as ever.... hahahaha
This time it is 4 whole weeks alone, with two kids! The first time he left I thought, it's just a month. How bad could it be? 1 week went by, I was stressed. 2 weeks went by, I was stressed to the max! 3 weeks went by, anti climax. This is the last week, hopefully no bad surprises. I hate it.
The first week it was really tough for me and the kids. We are used to the routine of me handling Rana and Bram handling Asha. She is used to being tucked into sleep. So the first week was full of battle with me and Asha when I'm nursing and she wants to sleep as well. This battle only subsides by the end of second week. By the third week she can sleep by herself without me tucking her in.
The last 3 weeks I needed to wake up early to fetch Asha to school. No time for bfast, pumping, etc. Not just that, I needed to wash her face brush her teeth and shower her. So I needed to finish all my business first, so after all that all I needed to do is prepare for work. So every morning is a rush! Plus I don't know the bus schedule yet, so sometimes I waited so long for the bus to come.
Not to mention that Asha really demands my attention now that the dad is not around. I spent the first and second week taking her for a stroll on the neighborhood before bedtime. I was so exhausted.
Maybe I was more exhausted mentally, not sure why. Oh plus my interview that sucked big time! With no one to share it with. Now that all has gone to pass I don't even know what I was stressing about.
The point is the whole family is adapting to the situation. I went back to my old routine of taking her to school. Walk to MRT station everyday from work, and strangely I feel tired in a way, but I feel great too!
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A great turn over point, on Saturday hubby said he might come back earlier. He did! He arrived yesterday. Turns out it was just 3 weeks of lonesome parenting. And Asha is still as demanding as ever.... hahahaha
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
The Strongest Friend I Know
I believe that no matter how popular your blog is, how popular you are, how good you are in front of your friends, it doesn't make you a good person. I believe that the stronger you are when trouble hits you, makes you loved by God.
I have a friend. No she doesn't blog, she doesn't nag, she keeps quiet and smiles through it all. No matter how many times wave hit her she stood her ground. I envy her yet I'm not sure if I can be that strong if I was given the same circumstances. I admire her and she has always been my inspiration.
Whenever I feel like whining or felt like I have such a big problem I try to remember her. She did not complain throuhout years of her pain and agony. She always kept herself positive through everything. Looking for solutions, and when there seems to be none, she still smiled and kept going.
Sometimes I wonder, when your life is easy does it mean Allah loves you more? Or Allah loves you more when you've got it tough? When I look at her, I can see how Allah loves her. Allah tried her with everything and she's still there with her long hijab, her smile, and being tawakkal.
All those seems-to-be-strong people, all those popular bloggers, couldn't measure up to her. She is just one of the strongest friend I know.
I have a friend. No she doesn't blog, she doesn't nag, she keeps quiet and smiles through it all. No matter how many times wave hit her she stood her ground. I envy her yet I'm not sure if I can be that strong if I was given the same circumstances. I admire her and she has always been my inspiration.
Whenever I feel like whining or felt like I have such a big problem I try to remember her. She did not complain throuhout years of her pain and agony. She always kept herself positive through everything. Looking for solutions, and when there seems to be none, she still smiled and kept going.
Sometimes I wonder, when your life is easy does it mean Allah loves you more? Or Allah loves you more when you've got it tough? When I look at her, I can see how Allah loves her. Allah tried her with everything and she's still there with her long hijab, her smile, and being tawakkal.
All those seems-to-be-strong people, all those popular bloggers, couldn't measure up to her. She is just one of the strongest friend I know.
Mother of Seven
No, this story is definitely NOT about me.
There was once that I went to the mall with Rana. I went to my favorite bag shop to buy something for my friend. The cashier was a thin young woman.
"Your baby is so cute, how old is she?" she was saying.
"3 months old," me smiling.
"Really? Same as my baby, " she continued
(pause) (I looked at her closely)
"But you look so thin, doesn't look like you just had a baby!" me envying.
"Oh, this is my 7th baby, from my second marriage" she said.
"Seven?? You've seven kids??? How old are you?" me being perplexed.
"I'm 31. How old are you?" she smiled
(pause) (trying to decide should I lie?)
"I'm 30 (I am STILL 30 okay?) and I only have TWO kids!" me laughing.
"How old is your first one?"
"Eleven,"she said.
Counting back means she had her first when she was about 20yo and she has kids almost every year!!! My goodness!!!
Total respect mommy!
I really can't imagine me being pregnant and give birth 7 times in my life.
Moral of the story, be a mother of seven to retain your figure? Hahahaha. Really. She doesn't look like it.
There was once that I went to the mall with Rana. I went to my favorite bag shop to buy something for my friend. The cashier was a thin young woman.
"Your baby is so cute, how old is she?" she was saying.
"3 months old," me smiling.
"Really? Same as my baby, " she continued
(pause) (I looked at her closely)
"But you look so thin, doesn't look like you just had a baby!" me envying.
"Oh, this is my 7th baby, from my second marriage" she said.
"Seven?? You've seven kids??? How old are you?" me being perplexed.
"I'm 31. How old are you?" she smiled
(pause) (trying to decide should I lie?)
"I'm 30 (I am STILL 30 okay?) and I only have TWO kids!" me laughing.
"How old is your first one?"
"Eleven,"she said.
Counting back means she had her first when she was about 20yo and she has kids almost every year!!! My goodness!!!
Total respect mommy!
I really can't imagine me being pregnant and give birth 7 times in my life.
Moral of the story, be a mother of seven to retain your figure? Hahahaha. Really. She doesn't look like it.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Tawakkal
Setelah jadi ibu kok rasanya kekhawatiran makin macam-macam ya. Belum lagi teracuni info dari internet tentang hal-hal yg ideal untuk anak. Seperti makanan. Paling bagus homemade organik. Ya iya aku juga tau makanan paling bagus yang homemade. Tapi kadang udah susah-susah dibuat anaknya ga mau makan juga. Kadang terpaksa nugget instan ato sosis to the rescue, ato abon. Terus idealnya gak dikasih gula garam. Haduh.. daripada dia diluaran sana ketemu orang-orang ngasih permen terus dia malah menggila lebih baik aku kasih aja dulu dengan jumlah terbatas.
Apalagi aku ibu bekerja yang tergolong (agak) pemalas. Salah satu resolusi tahun ini adalah jadi ibu yang lebih rajin. Setidaknya agak rajin bikin stok makanan buat anaknya yang amat picky eater. Lebih rajin nemenin anaknya main, lebih rajin nemenin anaknya belajar.
Ada satu yang lebih mengkhawatirkan sebagai ibu bekerja. Aku harus rela meninggalkan anak-anakku sama pembantu di rumah. Satu pembantu urus anak dua. Tidak ideal sangat! Tapi apa mau dikata, disini pembantu gajinya mahal, childcare apalagi. Banyak cerita-cerita horor beredar diluaran, ya yang anak disiksa pembantu, dipukul pembantu, diajak pas pembantu pacaran. Belum lagi pola pikir dan pola hidup pembantu yang pasti akan meninggalkan jejak di si anak. Penting memang mencari pembantu yang baik berpendidikan dan beragama. Namun kita terkadang kan tidak bisa memilih. Disini aku percaya, Allah yang pilihkan. Sebagaimana Allah memilihkan segalanya bagi kita.
Kadang memang sering terlintas pikiran-pikiran buruk. Takut ini itu, khawatir ini itu. Tapi aku berusaha tawakkal. Tidak semua hal bisa kukontrol dan ini salah satunya. Saat ini aku hanya berusaha percaya pada si mbak, memperlakukan dia dengan baik, agar dia pun memperlakukan anak-anakku dengan baik. Selebihnya aku tawakkal pada Allah. Hanya Allah yang bisa mencegah orang berbuat buruk dan hanya Allah yang bisa menyelamatkan kita dengan cara apapun. Selama kita sudah berusaha yang terbaik, berniat yang benar dan berbuat yang benar.
Tanpa tawakkal bener deh, hidup ini pasti menyetreskan. Bisa-bisa anak kita dikekep mulu di rumah ga boleh kemana-mana ga boleh ngapa-ngapain. Gak baik juga buat si anak gak baik juga buat kita. Memang tugas kita untuk mendidik anak, mempersiapkan anak sebaik-baiknya untuk nanti dilepas ke dunia luar. Selebihnya serahkan pada Allah. Banyak-banyak berdoa untuk menyertai si anak. InsyaAllah doa ibu adalah doa yang didengar Allah.
Indah sekali jadi wanita ya...
Apalagi aku ibu bekerja yang tergolong (agak) pemalas. Salah satu resolusi tahun ini adalah jadi ibu yang lebih rajin. Setidaknya agak rajin bikin stok makanan buat anaknya yang amat picky eater. Lebih rajin nemenin anaknya main, lebih rajin nemenin anaknya belajar.
Ada satu yang lebih mengkhawatirkan sebagai ibu bekerja. Aku harus rela meninggalkan anak-anakku sama pembantu di rumah. Satu pembantu urus anak dua. Tidak ideal sangat! Tapi apa mau dikata, disini pembantu gajinya mahal, childcare apalagi. Banyak cerita-cerita horor beredar diluaran, ya yang anak disiksa pembantu, dipukul pembantu, diajak pas pembantu pacaran. Belum lagi pola pikir dan pola hidup pembantu yang pasti akan meninggalkan jejak di si anak. Penting memang mencari pembantu yang baik berpendidikan dan beragama. Namun kita terkadang kan tidak bisa memilih. Disini aku percaya, Allah yang pilihkan. Sebagaimana Allah memilihkan segalanya bagi kita.
Kadang memang sering terlintas pikiran-pikiran buruk. Takut ini itu, khawatir ini itu. Tapi aku berusaha tawakkal. Tidak semua hal bisa kukontrol dan ini salah satunya. Saat ini aku hanya berusaha percaya pada si mbak, memperlakukan dia dengan baik, agar dia pun memperlakukan anak-anakku dengan baik. Selebihnya aku tawakkal pada Allah. Hanya Allah yang bisa mencegah orang berbuat buruk dan hanya Allah yang bisa menyelamatkan kita dengan cara apapun. Selama kita sudah berusaha yang terbaik, berniat yang benar dan berbuat yang benar.
Tanpa tawakkal bener deh, hidup ini pasti menyetreskan. Bisa-bisa anak kita dikekep mulu di rumah ga boleh kemana-mana ga boleh ngapa-ngapain. Gak baik juga buat si anak gak baik juga buat kita. Memang tugas kita untuk mendidik anak, mempersiapkan anak sebaik-baiknya untuk nanti dilepas ke dunia luar. Selebihnya serahkan pada Allah. Banyak-banyak berdoa untuk menyertai si anak. InsyaAllah doa ibu adalah doa yang didengar Allah.
Indah sekali jadi wanita ya...
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
God's Will
I used to love someone in my past. Occasionally he still comes to my dreams for no reason at all. Sometimes I think, there's no use wondering what will happen if we end up together because God has a plan for all of us.
If we're still meant to be, we will be, sometimes later. If we're doomed not to cross paths again, here and afterlife, then God will erase his traces in me.
So life will go on, have our own kids and we'll be happy in our own separate ways. So I guess, till we meet again, if God wills.
If we're still meant to be, we will be, sometimes later. If we're doomed not to cross paths again, here and afterlife, then God will erase his traces in me.
So life will go on, have our own kids and we'll be happy in our own separate ways. So I guess, till we meet again, if God wills.
Being A Mother, A Wife, and A Woman
These past weeks since the baby comes out I think the baby blues have hit me and I've been thinking of unnecessary things, tiring over things, and despair over nothing.
Until I watched Sex and The City 2. Well it was a re-run. Back then I watched it as a continuum of my favorite show, just now I watched it like watching my life.
Carrie with her mid-wife crisis with Big, and Charlotte with her 2 girls, with one being in a terrible two phase.
My mid-wife crisis is that I find marriage life after two kids is boring and different. My husband seems to help less with this second one and left me running around here and there. While one of my friend who just birth her first child, the husband seemed very caring, helpful, they even stayed up late together! Me and husband fought over who needs to change diaper yada yada. I felt that he seems like happy with his own time alone, doing whatever it was, watching TV, playing computer. If I don't ask him to help he'd never help. I fought over my conscience that I ought to just let him alone, that it was my obligation as a good wife to take care of the kids and home, that he was tired from work etc.
I don't want to burden him with things that he doesn't want to do, and sometimes I wished he was someone else, someone more caring.
My revelation after this movie is... MEN ARE LIKE THAT! They like to stay home, laze around, watch TV, etc. WOMEN ARE LIKE ME! We question small things, we worry that we're doing something wrong, we worry that we disappoint the men. I find that I'm normal. So then I find that, I only need to ask if I want help. Despite his reluctant reaction he would still do it, and when they do it it's because they love us. Like what my husband said each and every time I complained that he frowned when I asked him to do things, "Well, I complained, but I got it done." I always thought it was such lame and unacceptable excuse. But I think he just couldn't rephrase it into something I want to hear.
So I guess from now on, whenever I feel like I need a helping hand, unless he looked pretty worn out it wouldn't hurt to ask.
My mid-mom crisis is that I just lost my temper every now and then. I feel like failing everytime. I fail to control my anger, I fail to control my kids, and God forbids I am dying for a me time. I sometimes wish I could be a loving dedicated mother. You know, the type who thinks "my kids are everything? Never despair for a me time, never wishes they would leave me alone for a while, unhappy when they are away at times, never yell at them, accept all their mistakes and not being mad at them, ready to make all necessary sacrifices for them. All of the above, are my list of ideal mom things I have failed to do in my point of view. After I watched Sex and The City, I found that it is normal. I am an adult human being, I need to sometimes be in an adult environment where I can discuss and talk over normal things which does not always concern kids. I need to have some meaningful conversation, laugh over trivial matters, watch movies which is NOT WALL E!!!
Over my role as a wife and a mother I need to be a woman. As much as I love my daughters and husband, I too love myself. And myself says I need a time off at times, I need help and I need breaks. As much as I want to be able to be a supermom, I want to be a normal woman even more. So I guess it's safe to say, before I was a mother and a wife, I had and always will be a woman next door.
Until I watched Sex and The City 2. Well it was a re-run. Back then I watched it as a continuum of my favorite show, just now I watched it like watching my life.
Carrie with her mid-wife crisis with Big, and Charlotte with her 2 girls, with one being in a terrible two phase.
My mid-wife crisis is that I find marriage life after two kids is boring and different. My husband seems to help less with this second one and left me running around here and there. While one of my friend who just birth her first child, the husband seemed very caring, helpful, they even stayed up late together! Me and husband fought over who needs to change diaper yada yada. I felt that he seems like happy with his own time alone, doing whatever it was, watching TV, playing computer. If I don't ask him to help he'd never help. I fought over my conscience that I ought to just let him alone, that it was my obligation as a good wife to take care of the kids and home, that he was tired from work etc.
I don't want to burden him with things that he doesn't want to do, and sometimes I wished he was someone else, someone more caring.
My revelation after this movie is... MEN ARE LIKE THAT! They like to stay home, laze around, watch TV, etc. WOMEN ARE LIKE ME! We question small things, we worry that we're doing something wrong, we worry that we disappoint the men. I find that I'm normal. So then I find that, I only need to ask if I want help. Despite his reluctant reaction he would still do it, and when they do it it's because they love us. Like what my husband said each and every time I complained that he frowned when I asked him to do things, "Well, I complained, but I got it done." I always thought it was such lame and unacceptable excuse. But I think he just couldn't rephrase it into something I want to hear.
So I guess from now on, whenever I feel like I need a helping hand, unless he looked pretty worn out it wouldn't hurt to ask.
My mid-mom crisis is that I just lost my temper every now and then. I feel like failing everytime. I fail to control my anger, I fail to control my kids, and God forbids I am dying for a me time. I sometimes wish I could be a loving dedicated mother. You know, the type who thinks "my kids are everything? Never despair for a me time, never wishes they would leave me alone for a while, unhappy when they are away at times, never yell at them, accept all their mistakes and not being mad at them, ready to make all necessary sacrifices for them. All of the above, are my list of ideal mom things I have failed to do in my point of view. After I watched Sex and The City, I found that it is normal. I am an adult human being, I need to sometimes be in an adult environment where I can discuss and talk over normal things which does not always concern kids. I need to have some meaningful conversation, laugh over trivial matters, watch movies which is NOT WALL E!!!
Over my role as a wife and a mother I need to be a woman. As much as I love my daughters and husband, I too love myself. And myself says I need a time off at times, I need help and I need breaks. As much as I want to be able to be a supermom, I want to be a normal woman even more. So I guess it's safe to say, before I was a mother and a wife, I had and always will be a woman next door.
2 Months with 2 Kids
I haven't touched this computer in such a loooong time. I do have some free time to sit in front of it, but it's usually very short while. To pay my bills mostly, and then after that.... "Ibu, ibu, I want to play a game" and there goes my computer session.
It is 1 am and I am surprisingly still awake. Hubby and 2 kids are sleeping. So no one is using the comp, YAY.
My two months have been busy, busy with adapting with new addition, new things, new school, new everything. SUddenly my maternity leave gone, just like that people!
First month I was sooo busy with the little one, with breastfeeding, engorgement, jaundice, etc. Second month I was busy with the big one, with new school, and illness.
I find myself stressed out at times, to a point where I am so frustrated and confused over what to do. I just feel lucky that I don't get lost in the way. I lost my nap, lost my me time, lost my sanity at times etc. I know I've got help at home, but sometimes these kids just want everything with me. They just kept pestering me that I've got to do it and no one else.
I will never again write in my CV, "able to perform tasks under stressing condition" because it turns out I am stressed out over 2 kids!
Today stress session 2 is finally releasing itself. The big one just broke her fever this morning after 6 consecutive days of fever. Fever is good I know, but it comes in a package with fussiness, blocked nose, cough, lost of appetite, lack of sleep, etc. So once it breaks, the big one will be running around and won't bother me so much for some time.
I am now enjoying my me time which only last for maybe 2 hours before my sleep and got to be ready for tomorrow's challenge. Geez God, don't they come with an instruction manual? hahahahaha
It is 1 am and I am surprisingly still awake. Hubby and 2 kids are sleeping. So no one is using the comp, YAY.
My two months have been busy, busy with adapting with new addition, new things, new school, new everything. SUddenly my maternity leave gone, just like that people!
First month I was sooo busy with the little one, with breastfeeding, engorgement, jaundice, etc. Second month I was busy with the big one, with new school, and illness.
I find myself stressed out at times, to a point where I am so frustrated and confused over what to do. I just feel lucky that I don't get lost in the way. I lost my nap, lost my me time, lost my sanity at times etc. I know I've got help at home, but sometimes these kids just want everything with me. They just kept pestering me that I've got to do it and no one else.
I will never again write in my CV, "able to perform tasks under stressing condition" because it turns out I am stressed out over 2 kids!
Today stress session 2 is finally releasing itself. The big one just broke her fever this morning after 6 consecutive days of fever. Fever is good I know, but it comes in a package with fussiness, blocked nose, cough, lost of appetite, lack of sleep, etc. So once it breaks, the big one will be running around and won't bother me so much for some time.
I am now enjoying my me time which only last for maybe 2 hours before my sleep and got to be ready for tomorrow's challenge. Geez God, don't they come with an instruction manual? hahahahaha
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