When Life Seems Hard

When life seems hard, it is easy to succumb to depression. When we feel alone, it is so easy to succumb to loneliness and blaming people. But there are people out there who face worse things than you and they don't complain. Just living day by day trying to survive.

Every now and then, to realize that what I'm dealing with now is nothing compared to what other people are dealing with, I need fresh reminder constantly. It's not easy to remember that there are people less fortunate when we are feeling we are at the bottom level of our lives.

Just now I read a post. About a grandma and her granddaughter. It's true story btw, because there are pics from the person who met them. She is 74 years old. Her granddaughter is about 15years old and she is an orphan. She has an illness which if it were not treated, she will be a hunch back for life. So therefore, grandma had to travel twice every week from Bogor to Jakarta for physioterapy by train. They look poor so I think they took the normal economy class train. And the grand daughter's bones is in no condition for her to walk. So every time they go out, grandma carried her with a sling.

I felt so ashamed of myself. I struggled with my daily activities. I dread doing house chores, I dread hearing my kids scream and shout, I wept because there is no one to help me, I cursed my husband who is away.

I forgot that Alhamdulillah:
- My kids are healthy and well.
- My husband is alive and can still provide for me
- I still have a house, a running electricity, running water.
- I am young and healthy.

I was so caught up in how lonely I was, how Allah took my living privileges, how I was so scared of things that are not happening, how miserable I was staying home and felt useless.
While the grandma just do it because she sincerely wants her grand daughter to be alive and healthy. She never took of it as a burden, just something that she needs to do. I don't think she has goals in life as well. She just takes life as it comes.

I on the other hand, was never sincere. I am an egoistic mom, who just wants the easy things in life. I wanted a grand life. While some people are just thankful to be alive and healthy. Astaghfirullah.

Now I ask myself, So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny? T_T *istigfar*