Akhir2 ini postinganku selalu seputar pasutri. So here we go again.. Aku adalah wanita yg cukup independen, jujur, straightforward, berani, dan senang bertualang. Hanya saja mungkin sejak menikah dan punya anak I'm somehow tied up.
I can't shake the feeling that some of my freedom have been robbed away from me. Some would say that is the price you gotta pay when you settle down. I can't come back late so often, I can't meet up with friends at sudden times etc. I can't say what I want as free as I used to be.
I know I've always said I don't care what people say, but it does get into my nerves. You know, all the things those people who thought they know what's best for you opinions aka parents, in laws, etc.
Islam does touch up on household as well. Relationship between husband and wife etc. Wife as it says should not cross husband's law. Lower our voice when we talk to them, ask permission for anything, not making any decision without husband's consent etc.
True enough, because honestly as a woman, I like to feel wanted, needed, caressed, defended, and given orders to at times. Being tough and independent all the time can be tiring, so please rob my independence occasionally.
But I think my husband doesn't get this. Knowing that I am so thickheaded and strong willed. He lets me make my own decisions and let me do as I please. Which I do appreciate at times. But I do want my privileged of being someone's property at times. I get sick of playing the owner evrytime.
How do you say these kind of things? O dear husband, please be mean to me and order me around this time??? Worse off, when I can't make decisions and he still throws it back to me to decide. I'm left hanging.
He can just say yes or no convincingly then I'll obey. I don't like it when he says yes reluctantly and conditionally. Or when he says no but very unsure of things. It doesn't seem he's in control of his life then how can I give him mine? Does this kind of thing you'll learn thru life?
I on the other hand if it's up to myself can make my own decisions. But so I guess it's the same with everyone.
So now I don't say anything becos I don't know what to say. Then maybe crap and hell with all those "ideal wife" they're talking about. I won't get anywhere acting like them *sigh*.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Being A Wife
Being a wife is hard, being a good wife takes more effort, being a "perfect" flawless wife is utterly impossible. Being a wife (not even a mom) for almost two years and I've had my own insecurities.
I am a wife, but I am still me, that's the thing. I can't throw away the 26year old me within just 2 years. I still need to be myself. I have my own considerations, I have my own opinions, I have my own desires, needs, etc. Sometimes if I compare myself to other wives out there I really feel insecure. What does it take to be a good wife? Bear children ASAP? Stay home wait for your husbands and kids? Cook for them? What? It's been bothering me for quite some time.
Islam does have guidelines on how to be a good wife. Honestly, when I read through I just feel like I would just throw the whole side of me. Some I can still manage and bear to try, but some I feel I would just be faking it. Besides.. Allah created us differently, so why must we behave and think the same way? Not to mention all those pressures from the old time successful wives (read: moms, aunts, etc).
As a wife, I still talked casually with my husband, I rarely cook, even preparing breakfast and meals my maid take care of. If my mother in law knows I think she'd freak out and scared her son would divorce me someday. Hahahaha. Not saying I never worry for such things.. Worrying that I'm not good of a wife to him and he might seek another companion. I do worry occasionally. Not that I don't want to cook. It's just that I don't want to be someone trying so hard to be a super person I'd ruin everything.
It's easier to love a simple honest human being rather than a super person. These super person comes with ego. I've got nothing to brag... I got my pay, but I put it all for savings. Really, I'm on the same level with my husband no more no less. I think a good wife is measured by your own husband. Other people got no right to judge. I understand they want the best for us, but I think I can just leave it at "advice" not "orders". We who go through it knows best.
Just my two cents, if a guy cheated, don't blame the wife. So many guys in this world have good wives but they still cheat anyway. If you think they've gone bad, do tell them hubbies, instead of running around the globe for new wives. If your wife says no to having a kid or adding a family members, please appreciate their thoughts, because after all.. they will be the one bearing your kid for 9months and nursing them until they grow up and don't say things that it is in our nature to bear kids. Being a good husband is I think as important as being a good wife. They always talk about how to be a good wive period, then what should husband do to be considered good? Give money every month? Play with your kid? It's not enough! It's not even as tough as staying home guys...
In the end.... I want to be a good wife with my own personal touch. I think Allah created us differently for reasons, and even thought we have guideline but Allah never told us that being different is bad. As they say, a good wife for a good husband. That is, if you are lucky and you fill your life with ikhlas.....
I am a wife, but I am still me, that's the thing. I can't throw away the 26year old me within just 2 years. I still need to be myself. I have my own considerations, I have my own opinions, I have my own desires, needs, etc. Sometimes if I compare myself to other wives out there I really feel insecure. What does it take to be a good wife? Bear children ASAP? Stay home wait for your husbands and kids? Cook for them? What? It's been bothering me for quite some time.
Islam does have guidelines on how to be a good wife. Honestly, when I read through I just feel like I would just throw the whole side of me. Some I can still manage and bear to try, but some I feel I would just be faking it. Besides.. Allah created us differently, so why must we behave and think the same way? Not to mention all those pressures from the old time successful wives (read: moms, aunts, etc).
As a wife, I still talked casually with my husband, I rarely cook, even preparing breakfast and meals my maid take care of. If my mother in law knows I think she'd freak out and scared her son would divorce me someday. Hahahaha. Not saying I never worry for such things.. Worrying that I'm not good of a wife to him and he might seek another companion. I do worry occasionally. Not that I don't want to cook. It's just that I don't want to be someone trying so hard to be a super person I'd ruin everything.
It's easier to love a simple honest human being rather than a super person. These super person comes with ego. I've got nothing to brag... I got my pay, but I put it all for savings. Really, I'm on the same level with my husband no more no less. I think a good wife is measured by your own husband. Other people got no right to judge. I understand they want the best for us, but I think I can just leave it at "advice" not "orders". We who go through it knows best.
Just my two cents, if a guy cheated, don't blame the wife. So many guys in this world have good wives but they still cheat anyway. If you think they've gone bad, do tell them hubbies, instead of running around the globe for new wives. If your wife says no to having a kid or adding a family members, please appreciate their thoughts, because after all.. they will be the one bearing your kid for 9months and nursing them until they grow up and don't say things that it is in our nature to bear kids. Being a good husband is I think as important as being a good wife. They always talk about how to be a good wive period, then what should husband do to be considered good? Give money every month? Play with your kid? It's not enough! It's not even as tough as staying home guys...
In the end.... I want to be a good wife with my own personal touch. I think Allah created us differently for reasons, and even thought we have guideline but Allah never told us that being different is bad. As they say, a good wife for a good husband. That is, if you are lucky and you fill your life with ikhlas.....
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Garuda di Dadaku
Tanggal 26 Desember lalu, AFF suzuki cup final leg 1 diadakan di Bukit Jalil. Bukan game yang menarik dipicu oleh beberapa faktor, suporter malaysia yg terus mengarahkan laser pointer ke para pemain Indonesia selama 1 babak yg mengakibatkan para pemain jd terganggu.
Permainan ditutup dgn kekalahan Indonesia 3-0. Kami semua para suporter amat sedih karena dibabak ke2 itu mereka main buruk sekali. Timnas kali ini blm pernah kalah sekalipun jd kita merasa yakin kali inipun kita akan menang. Kita mulai mencari2 alasan kenapa kita bisa kalah, antara lain laser ijo yg mengganggu, Politisasi oleh pihak2 tertentu, dll.
Sudah lama aku kecewa pd negeriku. Kami semua tepatnya sudah lama kecewa. Korupsi dmn2, presiden yg tidak pny wibawa, janji2 yg terbengkalai, keputusan2 tdk tepat, UU tdk tepat sasaran dll.
Entah kenapa kurasa Timnas ini sedikit banyak membantu menumbuhkan kembali semangat nasionalisme kami. Bukan kata2 presiden, bukan bencana alam, tapi sepak bola. Semua orang tiba2 serempak meneriakkan Garuda di dadaku. Kebetulan seragam timnas dihiasi lambang garuda di bajunya. Garuda, sebuah lambang yg di"paten"kan oleh Soekarno yg dibawahnya tertulis Bhinneka Tunggal Ika. Kami memang berbeda tapi kami satu Indonesia.
Sebuah stasiun televisi sblm final ini pernah menayangkan suatu sinopsis singkat knp sepak bola sering dijadikan ajang pembuktian harga diri ke masyarakat internasional. Dlm hal ini kedudukan Indonesia yg sering "kalah" oleh Malaysia. Tp aku rasa bukan itu bagi kami. Bukan pembuktian diri keluar yg lbh kita butuhkan. Namun pembuktian kpd kami sendiri bahwa kami bisa.
Kami bisa jd bangsa bermartabat, kami bisa menjalani hidup kami di bawah pimpinan2 yg tidak kompeten ini. Mereka memberi rakyat Indonesia sebuah harapan. Harapan untuk terus maju.
Garuda akan selalu ada di dadaku. Kemanapun aku pergi, seburuk apapun keadaan negeriku. Bagaimanapun aku berusaha utk melupakannya namun tdk dpt dipungkiri, sampai mati Garuda akan selalu ada di dadaku dan darahku akan selalu jd darah Indonesia.
-in a bus stop waiting for 178-
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Permainan ditutup dgn kekalahan Indonesia 3-0. Kami semua para suporter amat sedih karena dibabak ke2 itu mereka main buruk sekali. Timnas kali ini blm pernah kalah sekalipun jd kita merasa yakin kali inipun kita akan menang. Kita mulai mencari2 alasan kenapa kita bisa kalah, antara lain laser ijo yg mengganggu, Politisasi oleh pihak2 tertentu, dll.
Sudah lama aku kecewa pd negeriku. Kami semua tepatnya sudah lama kecewa. Korupsi dmn2, presiden yg tidak pny wibawa, janji2 yg terbengkalai, keputusan2 tdk tepat, UU tdk tepat sasaran dll.
Entah kenapa kurasa Timnas ini sedikit banyak membantu menumbuhkan kembali semangat nasionalisme kami. Bukan kata2 presiden, bukan bencana alam, tapi sepak bola. Semua orang tiba2 serempak meneriakkan Garuda di dadaku. Kebetulan seragam timnas dihiasi lambang garuda di bajunya. Garuda, sebuah lambang yg di"paten"kan oleh Soekarno yg dibawahnya tertulis Bhinneka Tunggal Ika. Kami memang berbeda tapi kami satu Indonesia.
Sebuah stasiun televisi sblm final ini pernah menayangkan suatu sinopsis singkat knp sepak bola sering dijadikan ajang pembuktian harga diri ke masyarakat internasional. Dlm hal ini kedudukan Indonesia yg sering "kalah" oleh Malaysia. Tp aku rasa bukan itu bagi kami. Bukan pembuktian diri keluar yg lbh kita butuhkan. Namun pembuktian kpd kami sendiri bahwa kami bisa.
Kami bisa jd bangsa bermartabat, kami bisa menjalani hidup kami di bawah pimpinan2 yg tidak kompeten ini. Mereka memberi rakyat Indonesia sebuah harapan. Harapan untuk terus maju.
Garuda akan selalu ada di dadaku. Kemanapun aku pergi, seburuk apapun keadaan negeriku. Bagaimanapun aku berusaha utk melupakannya namun tdk dpt dipungkiri, sampai mati Garuda akan selalu ada di dadaku dan darahku akan selalu jd darah Indonesia.
-in a bus stop waiting for 178-
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Hari Ibu 2010
Ini adalah hari ibu tahun kedua dimana ibuku msh sakit. Ketika ibu sakit, memang perlu kesabaran luar biasa menghadapinya.
Ibu mengidap skizofrenia. Kadang kondisinya naik, kadang turun. Gejala yg plg jelas kelihatan adalah pandangan mata kosong, suka melamun, murung, sering ngomong sendiri, dan jalan pikirannya sulit dimengerti. Seperti dia punya dunia sendiri dan asumsi sendiri yg buat kita tidak terbayangkan.
Mudah bagi kita mengucapkan I love you mom jika ibu memang selalu ada di tiap langkah kita, utk mensupport, membantu, ataupun hny sbg tmn mengobrol. Mudah bagi kalian semua merayakan hari ibu dengan berkata "i love u mom, thanks for being there for me"
Setelah aku jd ibu, aku tahu bgitu bnyk kasih sayang ibu yg terlupakan. Namun meski begitu, kadang aku merasa begitu sedikit yg bisa kuingat. Karena sebagian besar hidupku kuisi dgn perjuangan melawan penyakitnya. Sebagian besar hidupku aku isi tanpa sosok ibu.
Bagi kalian yg hidup normal, pny orang tua normal, bersyukurlah. Karena ada org2 spt aku yg hny bisa merasakannya sesekali saja, tidak setiap waktu. Namun msh tetap lbh baik drpd mereka yg sama sekali tdk pernah merasakannya.
Kadang aku berpikir, betapa beruntungnya aku. Allah memberiku kesempatan lebih utk berbakti dan menyayangi ibuku tanpa pamrih. Karena aku yakin, jika aku yg menderita penyakit ini, cintanya padaku takkan berkurang sedikitpun. Mengurus dan menyayangi orang tua apapun kondisinya adalah kewajiban kita sbg anak. Sebisa mungkin tahanlah segala keluhan di dlm hati.
Aku hanya memohon kekuatan dan kesabaran menjalani semuanya. Jika Allah memberi kesembuhan segala puji syukur ke hadiratNya. Jika tidak mungkin memang itu yg terbaik.
Selamat hari ibu semuanya..
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Ibu mengidap skizofrenia. Kadang kondisinya naik, kadang turun. Gejala yg plg jelas kelihatan adalah pandangan mata kosong, suka melamun, murung, sering ngomong sendiri, dan jalan pikirannya sulit dimengerti. Seperti dia punya dunia sendiri dan asumsi sendiri yg buat kita tidak terbayangkan.
Mudah bagi kita mengucapkan I love you mom jika ibu memang selalu ada di tiap langkah kita, utk mensupport, membantu, ataupun hny sbg tmn mengobrol. Mudah bagi kalian semua merayakan hari ibu dengan berkata "i love u mom, thanks for being there for me"
Setelah aku jd ibu, aku tahu bgitu bnyk kasih sayang ibu yg terlupakan. Namun meski begitu, kadang aku merasa begitu sedikit yg bisa kuingat. Karena sebagian besar hidupku kuisi dgn perjuangan melawan penyakitnya. Sebagian besar hidupku aku isi tanpa sosok ibu.
Bagi kalian yg hidup normal, pny orang tua normal, bersyukurlah. Karena ada org2 spt aku yg hny bisa merasakannya sesekali saja, tidak setiap waktu. Namun msh tetap lbh baik drpd mereka yg sama sekali tdk pernah merasakannya.
Kadang aku berpikir, betapa beruntungnya aku. Allah memberiku kesempatan lebih utk berbakti dan menyayangi ibuku tanpa pamrih. Karena aku yakin, jika aku yg menderita penyakit ini, cintanya padaku takkan berkurang sedikitpun. Mengurus dan menyayangi orang tua apapun kondisinya adalah kewajiban kita sbg anak. Sebisa mungkin tahanlah segala keluhan di dlm hati.
Aku hanya memohon kekuatan dan kesabaran menjalani semuanya. Jika Allah memberi kesembuhan segala puji syukur ke hadiratNya. Jika tidak mungkin memang itu yg terbaik.
Selamat hari ibu semuanya..
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Motivation
Sometimes what just happened to friends around you makes you feel like you also can achieve the same thing.
If they can win a quiz then hey you can too.
If they can be pretty and skinny, so can you.
If someone close to you dies you will too someday.
If someone can be happy, you can too.
If someone can be rich, well, that depends haha.
Choose your own motivator and keep on going forward. Cause God created a one way life without a U-turn.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
If they can win a quiz then hey you can too.
If they can be pretty and skinny, so can you.
If someone close to you dies you will too someday.
If someone can be happy, you can too.
If someone can be rich, well, that depends haha.
Choose your own motivator and keep on going forward. Cause God created a one way life without a U-turn.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, December 16, 2010
A note for oneself
Within a few months, two young moms whom I barely even known passed away. Both died of illness. I barely know them but they are my friend's friend. Which means I could have met them accidentally, or I might have been acquainted but just forgot about it. They are just my age and it truly woke me up to the fact that we really don't live forever.
My basic daily prayers are a mess lately. If God calls for me tomorrow what will I say? What have I done for God lately? I barely donate, zakat, shaum, sunnah prayers, read Quran.
I sometimes take my prayer's duty too easy. How can God take me seriously if I took It easy? My aunt called me from the states and her son has just completed memorizing the juz amma. How ashamed I am to God that my iman does not grow as my age grow nearer to my death.
I really do need this wake up call. May Allah always guide me wherever I go. I promise myself to be a better muslim in the future. Starting now. Singapore time: 9.26am.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
My basic daily prayers are a mess lately. If God calls for me tomorrow what will I say? What have I done for God lately? I barely donate, zakat, shaum, sunnah prayers, read Quran.
I sometimes take my prayer's duty too easy. How can God take me seriously if I took It easy? My aunt called me from the states and her son has just completed memorizing the juz amma. How ashamed I am to God that my iman does not grow as my age grow nearer to my death.
I really do need this wake up call. May Allah always guide me wherever I go. I promise myself to be a better muslim in the future. Starting now. Singapore time: 9.26am.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Kos dan Kucing Pt 1
Kemaren dapet berita duka. Dola meninggal. Dola yang paling disayang sama orang2 sekosan. Dola yg cantik dan montok.
Kalo udah bgini jadi flashback to the good old days.
Di KBBT 12 dulu awalnya cm ada 3 kucing, Tiki, Dolly sm saya lupa satu lg, panggil saja si uno. Uno ini kucing yg gagah pasti mudanya, tuanya aja kliatan. Uno keturunan Angora tp gak murni jd agak buduk jg. Uno mati di thn 2001 krn usia tua dan kita kubur di bawah pohon mangga belakang kosan.
Tiki klo gak salah anknya si uno. Waktu kecil lucuuuu bgt. Yg gak lucu cuman dia kdg suka ke kamar dan numpang buang air disitu. Ini adalah kucing kesayangan si ibu. Dulu bener2 ga boleh keluar rumah takut ilang. Klo mlm2 sampe kluar rmh kita anak2 kos bisa didiemin seharian.
Dolly adalah kucing binal nan subur klo kita blg. Tiap musim kawin pulang pasti hamil. Tp kynya rahimnya bermasalah ato gmn, bayi2nya sering prematur dan mati pas lahir. Klo selamatpun kadang suka dimakan sm dia! Rahasia alam ya, mungkin dia tau anaknya gak akan survive.
Namun bgitu ada 3 anknya yg selamat dan dirawat sampe besar. Tepatnya ibu kos yg berjuang merawat mereka.
Batch pertama si zoro sm si cicil. Kynya ini hasil perkawinan dgn si garong yg suka nongkrong d rmh deh. Soalnya dolly warnanya item sedangkan cicil lorek2 kuning kampung. Mereka berdua jg kecilnya lucu bgt.. Si cicil dipanggil cicil soalnya dulunya keciiil bgt. Padahal gedenya berbadan bongsor dan gagah. Zoro matanya item sebelah XD. Spt kucing2 sebelumnya merekapun melewati fase hobi nebeng buang air dimana2 sampe akhirnya toilet trained (alias boker di kmr mandi).
Pas Tiki mulai akil balik, dia mulai suka brisik pas musim kawin dan selalu gagal mencoba menggagahi Dolly soalnya si Dolly judes bgt, herannya laku aja tuh. Hingga pada suatu hari yg kita gak tau kpn, tampaknya Tiki berhasiiill!! Bbrp lama kemudian Dola lahir dan diapun jd idola baru di KBBT12.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Kalo udah bgini jadi flashback to the good old days.
Di KBBT 12 dulu awalnya cm ada 3 kucing, Tiki, Dolly sm saya lupa satu lg, panggil saja si uno. Uno ini kucing yg gagah pasti mudanya, tuanya aja kliatan. Uno keturunan Angora tp gak murni jd agak buduk jg. Uno mati di thn 2001 krn usia tua dan kita kubur di bawah pohon mangga belakang kosan.
Tiki klo gak salah anknya si uno. Waktu kecil lucuuuu bgt. Yg gak lucu cuman dia kdg suka ke kamar dan numpang buang air disitu. Ini adalah kucing kesayangan si ibu. Dulu bener2 ga boleh keluar rumah takut ilang. Klo mlm2 sampe kluar rmh kita anak2 kos bisa didiemin seharian.
Dolly adalah kucing binal nan subur klo kita blg. Tiap musim kawin pulang pasti hamil. Tp kynya rahimnya bermasalah ato gmn, bayi2nya sering prematur dan mati pas lahir. Klo selamatpun kadang suka dimakan sm dia! Rahasia alam ya, mungkin dia tau anaknya gak akan survive.
Namun bgitu ada 3 anknya yg selamat dan dirawat sampe besar. Tepatnya ibu kos yg berjuang merawat mereka.
Batch pertama si zoro sm si cicil. Kynya ini hasil perkawinan dgn si garong yg suka nongkrong d rmh deh. Soalnya dolly warnanya item sedangkan cicil lorek2 kuning kampung. Mereka berdua jg kecilnya lucu bgt.. Si cicil dipanggil cicil soalnya dulunya keciiil bgt. Padahal gedenya berbadan bongsor dan gagah. Zoro matanya item sebelah XD. Spt kucing2 sebelumnya merekapun melewati fase hobi nebeng buang air dimana2 sampe akhirnya toilet trained (alias boker di kmr mandi).
Pas Tiki mulai akil balik, dia mulai suka brisik pas musim kawin dan selalu gagal mencoba menggagahi Dolly soalnya si Dolly judes bgt, herannya laku aja tuh. Hingga pada suatu hari yg kita gak tau kpn, tampaknya Tiki berhasiiill!! Bbrp lama kemudian Dola lahir dan diapun jd idola baru di KBBT12.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Bandung
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