Setelah jadi ibu kok rasanya kekhawatiran makin macam-macam ya. Belum lagi teracuni info dari internet tentang hal-hal yg ideal untuk anak. Seperti makanan. Paling bagus homemade organik. Ya iya aku juga tau makanan paling bagus yang homemade. Tapi kadang udah susah-susah dibuat anaknya ga mau makan juga. Kadang terpaksa nugget instan ato sosis to the rescue, ato abon. Terus idealnya gak dikasih gula garam. Haduh.. daripada dia diluaran sana ketemu orang-orang ngasih permen terus dia malah menggila lebih baik aku kasih aja dulu dengan jumlah terbatas.
Apalagi aku ibu bekerja yang tergolong (agak) pemalas. Salah satu resolusi tahun ini adalah jadi ibu yang lebih rajin. Setidaknya agak rajin bikin stok makanan buat anaknya yang amat picky eater. Lebih rajin nemenin anaknya main, lebih rajin nemenin anaknya belajar.
Ada satu yang lebih mengkhawatirkan sebagai ibu bekerja. Aku harus rela meninggalkan anak-anakku sama pembantu di rumah. Satu pembantu urus anak dua. Tidak ideal sangat! Tapi apa mau dikata, disini pembantu gajinya mahal, childcare apalagi. Banyak cerita-cerita horor beredar diluaran, ya yang anak disiksa pembantu, dipukul pembantu, diajak pas pembantu pacaran. Belum lagi pola pikir dan pola hidup pembantu yang pasti akan meninggalkan jejak di si anak. Penting memang mencari pembantu yang baik berpendidikan dan beragama. Namun kita terkadang kan tidak bisa memilih. Disini aku percaya, Allah yang pilihkan. Sebagaimana Allah memilihkan segalanya bagi kita.
Kadang memang sering terlintas pikiran-pikiran buruk. Takut ini itu, khawatir ini itu. Tapi aku berusaha tawakkal. Tidak semua hal bisa kukontrol dan ini salah satunya. Saat ini aku hanya berusaha percaya pada si mbak, memperlakukan dia dengan baik, agar dia pun memperlakukan anak-anakku dengan baik. Selebihnya aku tawakkal pada Allah. Hanya Allah yang bisa mencegah orang berbuat buruk dan hanya Allah yang bisa menyelamatkan kita dengan cara apapun. Selama kita sudah berusaha yang terbaik, berniat yang benar dan berbuat yang benar.
Tanpa tawakkal bener deh, hidup ini pasti menyetreskan. Bisa-bisa anak kita dikekep mulu di rumah ga boleh kemana-mana ga boleh ngapa-ngapain. Gak baik juga buat si anak gak baik juga buat kita. Memang tugas kita untuk mendidik anak, mempersiapkan anak sebaik-baiknya untuk nanti dilepas ke dunia luar. Selebihnya serahkan pada Allah. Banyak-banyak berdoa untuk menyertai si anak. InsyaAllah doa ibu adalah doa yang didengar Allah.
Indah sekali jadi wanita ya...
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
God's Will
I used to love someone in my past. Occasionally he still comes to my dreams for no reason at all. Sometimes I think, there's no use wondering what will happen if we end up together because God has a plan for all of us.
If we're still meant to be, we will be, sometimes later. If we're doomed not to cross paths again, here and afterlife, then God will erase his traces in me.
So life will go on, have our own kids and we'll be happy in our own separate ways. So I guess, till we meet again, if God wills.
If we're still meant to be, we will be, sometimes later. If we're doomed not to cross paths again, here and afterlife, then God will erase his traces in me.
So life will go on, have our own kids and we'll be happy in our own separate ways. So I guess, till we meet again, if God wills.
Being A Mother, A Wife, and A Woman
These past weeks since the baby comes out I think the baby blues have hit me and I've been thinking of unnecessary things, tiring over things, and despair over nothing.
Until I watched Sex and The City 2. Well it was a re-run. Back then I watched it as a continuum of my favorite show, just now I watched it like watching my life.
Carrie with her mid-wife crisis with Big, and Charlotte with her 2 girls, with one being in a terrible two phase.
My mid-wife crisis is that I find marriage life after two kids is boring and different. My husband seems to help less with this second one and left me running around here and there. While one of my friend who just birth her first child, the husband seemed very caring, helpful, they even stayed up late together! Me and husband fought over who needs to change diaper yada yada. I felt that he seems like happy with his own time alone, doing whatever it was, watching TV, playing computer. If I don't ask him to help he'd never help. I fought over my conscience that I ought to just let him alone, that it was my obligation as a good wife to take care of the kids and home, that he was tired from work etc.
I don't want to burden him with things that he doesn't want to do, and sometimes I wished he was someone else, someone more caring.
My revelation after this movie is... MEN ARE LIKE THAT! They like to stay home, laze around, watch TV, etc. WOMEN ARE LIKE ME! We question small things, we worry that we're doing something wrong, we worry that we disappoint the men. I find that I'm normal. So then I find that, I only need to ask if I want help. Despite his reluctant reaction he would still do it, and when they do it it's because they love us. Like what my husband said each and every time I complained that he frowned when I asked him to do things, "Well, I complained, but I got it done." I always thought it was such lame and unacceptable excuse. But I think he just couldn't rephrase it into something I want to hear.
So I guess from now on, whenever I feel like I need a helping hand, unless he looked pretty worn out it wouldn't hurt to ask.
My mid-mom crisis is that I just lost my temper every now and then. I feel like failing everytime. I fail to control my anger, I fail to control my kids, and God forbids I am dying for a me time. I sometimes wish I could be a loving dedicated mother. You know, the type who thinks "my kids are everything? Never despair for a me time, never wishes they would leave me alone for a while, unhappy when they are away at times, never yell at them, accept all their mistakes and not being mad at them, ready to make all necessary sacrifices for them. All of the above, are my list of ideal mom things I have failed to do in my point of view. After I watched Sex and The City, I found that it is normal. I am an adult human being, I need to sometimes be in an adult environment where I can discuss and talk over normal things which does not always concern kids. I need to have some meaningful conversation, laugh over trivial matters, watch movies which is NOT WALL E!!!
Over my role as a wife and a mother I need to be a woman. As much as I love my daughters and husband, I too love myself. And myself says I need a time off at times, I need help and I need breaks. As much as I want to be able to be a supermom, I want to be a normal woman even more. So I guess it's safe to say, before I was a mother and a wife, I had and always will be a woman next door.
Until I watched Sex and The City 2. Well it was a re-run. Back then I watched it as a continuum of my favorite show, just now I watched it like watching my life.
Carrie with her mid-wife crisis with Big, and Charlotte with her 2 girls, with one being in a terrible two phase.
My mid-wife crisis is that I find marriage life after two kids is boring and different. My husband seems to help less with this second one and left me running around here and there. While one of my friend who just birth her first child, the husband seemed very caring, helpful, they even stayed up late together! Me and husband fought over who needs to change diaper yada yada. I felt that he seems like happy with his own time alone, doing whatever it was, watching TV, playing computer. If I don't ask him to help he'd never help. I fought over my conscience that I ought to just let him alone, that it was my obligation as a good wife to take care of the kids and home, that he was tired from work etc.
I don't want to burden him with things that he doesn't want to do, and sometimes I wished he was someone else, someone more caring.
My revelation after this movie is... MEN ARE LIKE THAT! They like to stay home, laze around, watch TV, etc. WOMEN ARE LIKE ME! We question small things, we worry that we're doing something wrong, we worry that we disappoint the men. I find that I'm normal. So then I find that, I only need to ask if I want help. Despite his reluctant reaction he would still do it, and when they do it it's because they love us. Like what my husband said each and every time I complained that he frowned when I asked him to do things, "Well, I complained, but I got it done." I always thought it was such lame and unacceptable excuse. But I think he just couldn't rephrase it into something I want to hear.
So I guess from now on, whenever I feel like I need a helping hand, unless he looked pretty worn out it wouldn't hurt to ask.
My mid-mom crisis is that I just lost my temper every now and then. I feel like failing everytime. I fail to control my anger, I fail to control my kids, and God forbids I am dying for a me time. I sometimes wish I could be a loving dedicated mother. You know, the type who thinks "my kids are everything? Never despair for a me time, never wishes they would leave me alone for a while, unhappy when they are away at times, never yell at them, accept all their mistakes and not being mad at them, ready to make all necessary sacrifices for them. All of the above, are my list of ideal mom things I have failed to do in my point of view. After I watched Sex and The City, I found that it is normal. I am an adult human being, I need to sometimes be in an adult environment where I can discuss and talk over normal things which does not always concern kids. I need to have some meaningful conversation, laugh over trivial matters, watch movies which is NOT WALL E!!!
Over my role as a wife and a mother I need to be a woman. As much as I love my daughters and husband, I too love myself. And myself says I need a time off at times, I need help and I need breaks. As much as I want to be able to be a supermom, I want to be a normal woman even more. So I guess it's safe to say, before I was a mother and a wife, I had and always will be a woman next door.
2 Months with 2 Kids
I haven't touched this computer in such a loooong time. I do have some free time to sit in front of it, but it's usually very short while. To pay my bills mostly, and then after that.... "Ibu, ibu, I want to play a game" and there goes my computer session.
It is 1 am and I am surprisingly still awake. Hubby and 2 kids are sleeping. So no one is using the comp, YAY.
My two months have been busy, busy with adapting with new addition, new things, new school, new everything. SUddenly my maternity leave gone, just like that people!
First month I was sooo busy with the little one, with breastfeeding, engorgement, jaundice, etc. Second month I was busy with the big one, with new school, and illness.
I find myself stressed out at times, to a point where I am so frustrated and confused over what to do. I just feel lucky that I don't get lost in the way. I lost my nap, lost my me time, lost my sanity at times etc. I know I've got help at home, but sometimes these kids just want everything with me. They just kept pestering me that I've got to do it and no one else.
I will never again write in my CV, "able to perform tasks under stressing condition" because it turns out I am stressed out over 2 kids!
Today stress session 2 is finally releasing itself. The big one just broke her fever this morning after 6 consecutive days of fever. Fever is good I know, but it comes in a package with fussiness, blocked nose, cough, lost of appetite, lack of sleep, etc. So once it breaks, the big one will be running around and won't bother me so much for some time.
I am now enjoying my me time which only last for maybe 2 hours before my sleep and got to be ready for tomorrow's challenge. Geez God, don't they come with an instruction manual? hahahahaha
It is 1 am and I am surprisingly still awake. Hubby and 2 kids are sleeping. So no one is using the comp, YAY.
My two months have been busy, busy with adapting with new addition, new things, new school, new everything. SUddenly my maternity leave gone, just like that people!
First month I was sooo busy with the little one, with breastfeeding, engorgement, jaundice, etc. Second month I was busy with the big one, with new school, and illness.
I find myself stressed out at times, to a point where I am so frustrated and confused over what to do. I just feel lucky that I don't get lost in the way. I lost my nap, lost my me time, lost my sanity at times etc. I know I've got help at home, but sometimes these kids just want everything with me. They just kept pestering me that I've got to do it and no one else.
I will never again write in my CV, "able to perform tasks under stressing condition" because it turns out I am stressed out over 2 kids!
Today stress session 2 is finally releasing itself. The big one just broke her fever this morning after 6 consecutive days of fever. Fever is good I know, but it comes in a package with fussiness, blocked nose, cough, lost of appetite, lack of sleep, etc. So once it breaks, the big one will be running around and won't bother me so much for some time.
I am now enjoying my me time which only last for maybe 2 hours before my sleep and got to be ready for tomorrow's challenge. Geez God, don't they come with an instruction manual? hahahahaha
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Anti Mainstream
Maybe I'm writing this just to reassure myself that I have no interest in publicity and even though I don't agree with people who are just worshipped by public or who has gathered some fans community herself, it is still their rights to do so.
I don't do things cause it was hip, or cause it was happening, or whatever. I do things if it challenges me, interests me, and I find beneficial. I don't brag about it cause what is the point?
I don't like to follow the crowd, just because I think that it is hip. But truthfully, those who sets a trend I think is incredible. They can bring people to follow their hobby even if I find it too much to share. Oh please, just to run, you have to buy new shoes (a couple really), buy new sets of clothes (I run with whatever I HAVE), you've got to have theme songs, you've got to participate in so many runs in a year (oh and btw, the runs aren't free).
It's just an example of the recent hip thing, Maybe people who do it in the end find it more beneficial but honestly, I don't like the hoo-hah on the start and process. I do run too, for different reasons, and I don't run for distance, or because it's hip or whatever. I run because it took my mind of things, and I felt fresher because of it. I have started way back before it was hip. I only ran like once or twice a week, when I needed a fresh air. I only ran one or two rounds the block because I found it had served its purpose. I have friends who run with a group, and they participate in competitions so many times, and they REALLY practiced runs. So this new hip thing, well they somehow run together. I so wonder how long this is gonna last.
I am not a social person I guess. I like meeting new people new friends, but following trends isn't really my style. I don't buy many expensive bags cos what is the point? I never say it wasn't tempting, I just found that I don't need them. I have 2 Kate Spade bags and I think they are good enough. Me and trends just don't go along I guess.
I found that I don't need to be anyone else to be accepted into society. I like being who I am, do things that I do for my own reasons and stay hidden in one corner.
Since a long time ago I have always lived my life for myself. So why bother to try so hard to live on something just to be accepted?
I don't do things cause it was hip, or cause it was happening, or whatever. I do things if it challenges me, interests me, and I find beneficial. I don't brag about it cause what is the point?
I don't like to follow the crowd, just because I think that it is hip. But truthfully, those who sets a trend I think is incredible. They can bring people to follow their hobby even if I find it too much to share. Oh please, just to run, you have to buy new shoes (a couple really), buy new sets of clothes (I run with whatever I HAVE), you've got to have theme songs, you've got to participate in so many runs in a year (oh and btw, the runs aren't free).
It's just an example of the recent hip thing, Maybe people who do it in the end find it more beneficial but honestly, I don't like the hoo-hah on the start and process. I do run too, for different reasons, and I don't run for distance, or because it's hip or whatever. I run because it took my mind of things, and I felt fresher because of it. I have started way back before it was hip. I only ran like once or twice a week, when I needed a fresh air. I only ran one or two rounds the block because I found it had served its purpose. I have friends who run with a group, and they participate in competitions so many times, and they REALLY practiced runs. So this new hip thing, well they somehow run together. I so wonder how long this is gonna last.
I am not a social person I guess. I like meeting new people new friends, but following trends isn't really my style. I don't buy many expensive bags cos what is the point? I never say it wasn't tempting, I just found that I don't need them. I have 2 Kate Spade bags and I think they are good enough. Me and trends just don't go along I guess.
I found that I don't need to be anyone else to be accepted into society. I like being who I am, do things that I do for my own reasons and stay hidden in one corner.
Since a long time ago I have always lived my life for myself. So why bother to try so hard to live on something just to be accepted?
Week 36 Going 37
Waktu melahirkan udah makin dekat nih. Selama2nya ya 3mingguan lagi ya. Eyke masih ngantor sih. Mulai minggu kemarin kontraksi Braxton Hicksnya makin kenceng. Masih irregular, tapi udh mulai sakit. Mules gitu juga kadang-kadang dateng, kadang kaya kram perut. Lagi tidur pun berasa sakit. Tp menurut gw sakitnya masih bearable dan irregular jd ga dianggap serius.
Hari Jumat lalu cek up dicek CTG kontraksi masih irregular, belum ada bukaan juga, dan bayi baru halfway down, belum fully engaged.
Hari Jumat lalu cek up dicek CTG kontraksi masih irregular, belum ada bukaan juga, dan bayi baru halfway down, belum fully engaged.
I Have Delivered a Baby Girl!!!
My last post was on 35weeks. Now I'm supposed to still be on my 39+ weeks, it's just that I have delivered 5 days ago.
It was a bit unexpected, because it was really early for me. Last time I delivered late, 40+4days, this time round I delivered on 38+4days.
On my 38weeks check up the gynae said I was 3cm dilated. BUT, during Asha times I was 2cm dilated for DAYS. So I wasn't really expecting much. But last time I was 2cm dilated on my 40weeks itself, so I thought this one might be slightly earlier. So she gave me hospitalization leave so I can wait quietly at home.
On the next day I felt slightly painful regular contractions and flowing fresh blod perhaps due to the internal examinations the gynae performed yesterday. So I went back to see the gynae, she said still no progress and told me to go home and monitor. It was on a Friday. So I thought oh well, might as well go for some walks, get some good food, because in the next 1 month I won't be going anywhere without breastfeeding. Two nights went by, and no signs of strengthening contractions.
On Saturday, was my chiropractic appointment. My bloody plug came off in the morning. But that was it. No increase on contractions, it was just the usual irregular painful contractions. So I went there, did some adjustments, and went home.
On Sunday morning I decided to pray, because there were no more blood coming out. After prayer, I laid down for a while and felt like I peed on my pants. I went to the toilet, empty my bladder. But my panties were still wet. Everytime contraction came fluids came out. Water bag broke? I was pretty sure I didn't pee so I called Bram who was out for jogging and immediately went to hospital.
The delivery wards were all occupied but ONE. So they sent me in there. As usual, only the stand by doctors were there and they were all very young. The doctor checked to see if it was really waterbag and not piss, and IT WAS my waterbag! They checked baby's position and they said she was still very high up and the cervix was still long and tight (whatever that means). They literally shoved their hands in (two doctors had to check because apparently the other one's hands couldn't reach my cervix location). After that they checked contractions. Not much. Pain scale? I said 4-5.
They called my gynae to ask am I to be induced. After they got a go at it they induced me with a tablet. It was put inside the vagina and I wasn't to move for an hour to ensure that it went all the way in. They let me wait for 2 hours in the delivery ward for contractions, and said if there was still nothing they'll send me up to the ward to wait for contractions come. They put the tablet in at 10am. An hour went by, 1.5 hours, and it was time for lunch. They took off all CTG's, everything. Bram said I was having contractions every 2-3minutes but I could still take it. So I had my lunch and still joke around. After lunch THEN i felt the contractions. As usual it started out as more painful, then stronger, then all hell broke loose. Actually it was manageable, but I was shivering after each contraction and I was tired of breathing out the pain. One hour after contractions start, around 1pm, I begged for epidural.
I felt like it was taking forever for the doctor to come in and checked my opening. The doctor came in and I was 4cm dilated 80% effaced. And he said, "we better give her the epidural now before she's fully dilated." I was actually a bit pessimistic that it would be so fast. He did say when I first came in second time mothers most of the time can dilate full in no time.
A few minutes later (which felt like forever by the way) the anesthesist came, had me sign some papers, and (finally) injected me with the epidural and I felt INSTANT RELIEF! I am so sorry drug-free-natural-birth!! I tried my breathing, and everything I know and I thought God knows how long this would last!!! I only survived 1 hour of pain without no painkillers at all T___T. But I'm proud to say, I didn't scream, didn't pull my husband's hair, I was a lady in there with my breathing (which only lasted an hour).
After that the midwife came, her name was Judith and she was AWESOME mind you. Like half an hour after epidural was injected, she put cateter on me, prepared everything for delivery. Then she checked me and I was fully dilated! Just need to wait for baby to descend and of course doctor to come. I was shocked. It was super fast. No wonder the stand by doctor insisted to give me epidural right away.On the other hand maybe if I was a bit stronger and more patient I could avoid the epidural.
Just my luck, my baby decided to come out on the FIRST day of my gynae planned leave. So another doctor took over for her. Since she has treated me before I'm quite comfortable handled by her.
Anyway, this time round the epidural dose was not as strong as my first delivery. This time the dosage was just nice so I could still feel the tightening, contractions, and some cramps which I could still handle. The anesthesist said they want to keep it at 3-4 pain level.
So the midwife was the one who guided me thru the initial pushing part. She did it in such a way that I managed to push without pushing too hard. She told me to push in a position that the baby would be able to slide out. She was really calming and she made me feel very relaxed.
After a few pushes she crowned and Judith asked, "do you want to touch her head? It's a preview" I said, "No, I'll wait till she comes out wholly" :D. We waited for the doctor to come and I pushed her out. It was so smooth and easy and I wasn't stressed at all. The most amazing thing that I didn't feel during my first delivery was delivering the baby. This time I could feel everything, when she crowned, when she slid, when she came out fully. I didn't have episiotomy to Judith's guides on how-to-slide-the-baby-out. I only have some slight tear and some bruises. Which the doctor sewed back in no time. The doctor said I made way for a 3.5kg baby previously so if this one was smaller it's not a wonder that it came out smoothly.
By the way, point to note, for both deliveries I experienced some heavy bleeding after baby and placenta were out. I didn't realize it was not normal, cos the first time round my gynae did not really mention it as something serious to me. But I remembered she was also a bit concerned about it. The doctor told me to mention it before delivery if there was another one coming in the future.
She was 3105g 48cm at birth. We named her Aura Diandra Adiratna.. In short, we call her Rana, and she was beautiful...
Alhamdulillah this time round my birth experience was a very good memorable one. If I were to have a third one, one couldn't help but wish it to be at least this memorable.
It was a bit unexpected, because it was really early for me. Last time I delivered late, 40+4days, this time round I delivered on 38+4days.
On my 38weeks check up the gynae said I was 3cm dilated. BUT, during Asha times I was 2cm dilated for DAYS. So I wasn't really expecting much. But last time I was 2cm dilated on my 40weeks itself, so I thought this one might be slightly earlier. So she gave me hospitalization leave so I can wait quietly at home.
On the next day I felt slightly painful regular contractions and flowing fresh blod perhaps due to the internal examinations the gynae performed yesterday. So I went back to see the gynae, she said still no progress and told me to go home and monitor. It was on a Friday. So I thought oh well, might as well go for some walks, get some good food, because in the next 1 month I won't be going anywhere without breastfeeding. Two nights went by, and no signs of strengthening contractions.
On Saturday, was my chiropractic appointment. My bloody plug came off in the morning. But that was it. No increase on contractions, it was just the usual irregular painful contractions. So I went there, did some adjustments, and went home.
On Sunday morning I decided to pray, because there were no more blood coming out. After prayer, I laid down for a while and felt like I peed on my pants. I went to the toilet, empty my bladder. But my panties were still wet. Everytime contraction came fluids came out. Water bag broke? I was pretty sure I didn't pee so I called Bram who was out for jogging and immediately went to hospital.
The delivery wards were all occupied but ONE. So they sent me in there. As usual, only the stand by doctors were there and they were all very young. The doctor checked to see if it was really waterbag and not piss, and IT WAS my waterbag! They checked baby's position and they said she was still very high up and the cervix was still long and tight (whatever that means). They literally shoved their hands in (two doctors had to check because apparently the other one's hands couldn't reach my cervix location). After that they checked contractions. Not much. Pain scale? I said 4-5.
They called my gynae to ask am I to be induced. After they got a go at it they induced me with a tablet. It was put inside the vagina and I wasn't to move for an hour to ensure that it went all the way in. They let me wait for 2 hours in the delivery ward for contractions, and said if there was still nothing they'll send me up to the ward to wait for contractions come. They put the tablet in at 10am. An hour went by, 1.5 hours, and it was time for lunch. They took off all CTG's, everything. Bram said I was having contractions every 2-3minutes but I could still take it. So I had my lunch and still joke around. After lunch THEN i felt the contractions. As usual it started out as more painful, then stronger, then all hell broke loose. Actually it was manageable, but I was shivering after each contraction and I was tired of breathing out the pain. One hour after contractions start, around 1pm, I begged for epidural.
I felt like it was taking forever for the doctor to come in and checked my opening. The doctor came in and I was 4cm dilated 80% effaced. And he said, "we better give her the epidural now before she's fully dilated." I was actually a bit pessimistic that it would be so fast. He did say when I first came in second time mothers most of the time can dilate full in no time.
A few minutes later (which felt like forever by the way) the anesthesist came, had me sign some papers, and (finally) injected me with the epidural and I felt INSTANT RELIEF! I am so sorry drug-free-natural-birth!! I tried my breathing, and everything I know and I thought God knows how long this would last!!! I only survived 1 hour of pain without no painkillers at all T___T. But I'm proud to say, I didn't scream, didn't pull my husband's hair, I was a lady in there with my breathing (which only lasted an hour).
After that the midwife came, her name was Judith and she was AWESOME mind you. Like half an hour after epidural was injected, she put cateter on me, prepared everything for delivery. Then she checked me and I was fully dilated! Just need to wait for baby to descend and of course doctor to come. I was shocked. It was super fast. No wonder the stand by doctor insisted to give me epidural right away.On the other hand maybe if I was a bit stronger and more patient I could avoid the epidural.
Just my luck, my baby decided to come out on the FIRST day of my gynae planned leave. So another doctor took over for her. Since she has treated me before I'm quite comfortable handled by her.
Anyway, this time round the epidural dose was not as strong as my first delivery. This time the dosage was just nice so I could still feel the tightening, contractions, and some cramps which I could still handle. The anesthesist said they want to keep it at 3-4 pain level.
So the midwife was the one who guided me thru the initial pushing part. She did it in such a way that I managed to push without pushing too hard. She told me to push in a position that the baby would be able to slide out. She was really calming and she made me feel very relaxed.
After a few pushes she crowned and Judith asked, "do you want to touch her head? It's a preview" I said, "No, I'll wait till she comes out wholly" :D. We waited for the doctor to come and I pushed her out. It was so smooth and easy and I wasn't stressed at all. The most amazing thing that I didn't feel during my first delivery was delivering the baby. This time I could feel everything, when she crowned, when she slid, when she came out fully. I didn't have episiotomy to Judith's guides on how-to-slide-the-baby-out. I only have some slight tear and some bruises. Which the doctor sewed back in no time. The doctor said I made way for a 3.5kg baby previously so if this one was smaller it's not a wonder that it came out smoothly.
By the way, point to note, for both deliveries I experienced some heavy bleeding after baby and placenta were out. I didn't realize it was not normal, cos the first time round my gynae did not really mention it as something serious to me. But I remembered she was also a bit concerned about it. The doctor told me to mention it before delivery if there was another one coming in the future.
She was 3105g 48cm at birth. We named her Aura Diandra Adiratna.. In short, we call her Rana, and she was beautiful...
Alhamdulillah this time round my birth experience was a very good memorable one. If I were to have a third one, one couldn't help but wish it to be at least this memorable.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)