I went for another interview yesterday. It has become so bad that it was only the second interview I went to. I thought I was going to get the job but it turns out it's still not fixed yet. I misunderstood. I'm scared that this is my last chance this year and I won't get it. He sounded like he was making up excuses not to hire me even though maybe he really has other candidates to consider but still.
I cried. I felt like I have high hopes then it crashes down. I feel like the news that is going to come back to me will be bad news. I feel that this is one of the lowest point of my life.
I had my degrees, i had my PR and I couldn't get a single job. How true it is that if it's not meant to be it will never be.
Maybe I'm meant to stay home for the time being. I had my doubts too when I applied for the job. Will i get a good helper, how is my 3rd kid plan, what's gonna happen next, will i be able to juggle my kids and work and so many other doubts then this came. Then suddenly it hit me.
If I don't get the job, I'm still going to try having the 3rd one and continue on managing my 2 kids. Before that I need to potty train Rana. And I hope by the time I give birth the oil and gas will pick up again and I'll be happier looking for a new job.
So you can say this will be my last attempt of job hunting this year. If this too fails I'll stop for the time being and go the my next plan which is planning for the next kid.
But the thought of giving up job hunting makes me really sad. Really really sad. I still want to work. I don't want to stay home. I want to work. No matter what I say that's the hard truth.
I guess nobody gets what they want all the time. It's just that I'm really sad. I thought i got it but I don't. And this fact really brings me down.
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