When It is Unsaid

Akhir2 ini postinganku selalu seputar pasutri. So here we go again.. Aku adalah wanita yg cukup independen, jujur, straightforward, berani, dan senang bertualang. Hanya saja mungkin sejak menikah dan punya anak I'm somehow tied up.

I can't shake the feeling that some of my freedom have been robbed away from me. Some would say that is the price you gotta pay when you settle down. I can't come back late so often, I can't meet up with friends at sudden times etc. I can't say what I want as free as I used to be.

I know I've always said I don't care what people say, but it does get into my nerves. You know, all the things those people who thought they know what's best for you opinions aka parents, in laws, etc.

Islam does touch up on household as well. Relationship between husband and wife etc. Wife as it says should not cross husband's law. Lower our voice when we talk to them, ask permission for anything, not making any decision without husband's consent etc.

True enough, because honestly as a woman, I like to feel wanted, needed, caressed, defended, and given orders to at times. Being tough and independent all the time can be tiring, so please rob my independence occasionally.

But I think my husband doesn't get this. Knowing that I am so thickheaded and strong willed. He lets me make my own decisions and let me do as I please. Which I do appreciate at times. But I do want my privileged of being someone's property at times. I get sick of playing the owner evrytime.

How do you say these kind of things? O dear husband, please be mean to me and order me around this time??? Worse off, when I can't make decisions and he still throws it back to me to decide. I'm left hanging.

He can just say yes or no convincingly then I'll obey. I don't like it when he says yes reluctantly and conditionally. Or when he says no but very unsure of things. It doesn't seem he's in control of his life then how can I give him mine? Does this kind of thing you'll learn thru life?

I on the other hand if it's up to myself can make my own decisions. But so I guess it's the same with everyone.

So now I don't say anything becos I don't know what to say. Then maybe crap and hell with all those "ideal wife" they're talking about. I won't get anywhere acting like them *sigh*.




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