Tujuan hidup kita setelah menikah sebenarnya gampang-gampang susah. Menikah, punya anak, beli rumah, beli mobil, nyekolahin anak, ngawinin anak teruuuus aja. Ada yang lebih cepet ada yang lebih lambat. Tiap orang pun beda prioritas. Ada yg memilih take it slow sambil menikmati ada yg memilih menderita diawal diakhir menikmati.
Suami saya bukan tipe orang yg memikirkan hidup dengan serius. Life with him is fun but comparatively I feel we're going nowhere. Beberapa kawan saya sudah grow up dr pola hidup seperti itu. Sedangkan aku malah mengikuti pola hidupnya. Semakin dipikir rasanya semakin tertinggal.
Semua orang punya investasi, beli rumah, dari bertahun2 lalu. Kami mulai baru beberapa bulan belakangan. Teman-tenan bisa beli rumah dengan DP sekian. Uang kami digabung-gabung pun tidak sampai sekian. Saya pun berpikir, did we not save enough? Do we live too lavish?
I believe saving money should not prevent you from living life happily. But now I'm not so sure anymore. Is it still applicable? I don't want to depend on anyone or having to borrow money from anyone. But sometimes it crossed my mind.
I know someday I'll be able to buy our own house. But something has got to change
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Recap 9 - End of 10weeks
Beginning of 9 weeks.
On 27 April we went to see the gynae and Alhamdulillah, it was there! Hihihihhihi. Moving actively and NO transvaginal scan YAY!
End of 10weeks.
Believe or not, my sickness is still here!!! OMG. My last day of 10weeks is on the 10th of May and this is the first day that I've been feeling much better. My fatigue lessened alot, as well as the nausea and vomitings. The past few weeks had been horrible.
The discomfort that I've felt lately is the stomach tightening, something like Braxton Hicks. It is so uncomfortable but so far there is no spotting or bleeding. I only feel it if I'm feeling tired, stand too long or walk too fast, or under stress.
I couldn't say this is easier than the first one. Let's just say that I accept the pregnancy consequences this time so I try my best to go with it.
On 27 April we went to see the gynae and Alhamdulillah, it was there! Hihihihhihi. Moving actively and NO transvaginal scan YAY!
End of 10weeks.
Believe or not, my sickness is still here!!! OMG. My last day of 10weeks is on the 10th of May and this is the first day that I've been feeling much better. My fatigue lessened alot, as well as the nausea and vomitings. The past few weeks had been horrible.
The discomfort that I've felt lately is the stomach tightening, something like Braxton Hicks. It is so uncomfortable but so far there is no spotting or bleeding. I only feel it if I'm feeling tired, stand too long or walk too fast, or under stress.
I couldn't say this is easier than the first one. Let's just say that I accept the pregnancy consequences this time so I try my best to go with it.
End of Week 12
Yaayyy... I've passed my first trimester!! Everything's fine so far. Appetite coming back slowly. I still vomit every now and then if I eat something curry or spicy or eat too much. Tomorrow is my next check up.
I really don't know what is the difference with the first one. I got the pregnancy fatigue, I got the nausea, vomiting, same as the first one. The first one was nastier, this one is longer but not as nasty. Maybe the headache part is slightly better this time round?
My food preference is a bit different though. Last time I loved Indian food. Now I eat curry I throw up afterwards. I prefer more on the Japanese food. I'm still prone to gassy food though so I try to avoid those. Snack wise, I survive better on the whole grain heavy once in a while snack. Rather than small biscuits eat often snack.
I don't know how it will progress but I'll try my best to adapt. My tummy is bulging. I look fat! Oh well..
I'll update on the check up tomorrow :D
The Check up
Actually my 12 wks ended last Wednesday on the 16th of May. On the 18th I went for my down syndrome check up and all the first trimester tests. The queue was daaaaaaaaaaaamn long! I waited 1.5hours just to do a scan. Definitely all dragon babies hopeful parents. So far all is well, from the scan the NT (neck thickness) is low (less than 25mm) and nose bone is visible (and it looks like a good looking nose too). To ensure need to check from blood test as well.
As for myself at the end of my 12 weeks I felt better. But coming in to week 13 the headaches attack! Oh and the fatigue as well. My food intake is also still limited but nausea has gone away. Once in a while still showing up at 5pm or 6pm. Night time my intake is the minimum. I don't eat much at all.
I really don't know what is the difference with the first one. I got the pregnancy fatigue, I got the nausea, vomiting, same as the first one. The first one was nastier, this one is longer but not as nasty. Maybe the headache part is slightly better this time round?
My food preference is a bit different though. Last time I loved Indian food. Now I eat curry I throw up afterwards. I prefer more on the Japanese food. I'm still prone to gassy food though so I try to avoid those. Snack wise, I survive better on the whole grain heavy once in a while snack. Rather than small biscuits eat often snack.
I don't know how it will progress but I'll try my best to adapt. My tummy is bulging. I look fat! Oh well..
I'll update on the check up tomorrow :D
The Check up
Actually my 12 wks ended last Wednesday on the 16th of May. On the 18th I went for my down syndrome check up and all the first trimester tests. The queue was daaaaaaaaaaaamn long! I waited 1.5hours just to do a scan. Definitely all dragon babies hopeful parents. So far all is well, from the scan the NT (neck thickness) is low (less than 25mm) and nose bone is visible (and it looks like a good looking nose too). To ensure need to check from blood test as well.
As for myself at the end of my 12 weeks I felt better. But coming in to week 13 the headaches attack! Oh and the fatigue as well. My food intake is also still limited but nausea has gone away. Once in a while still showing up at 5pm or 6pm. Night time my intake is the minimum. I don't eat much at all.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
8 Weeks Going 9
Thursday, which is 2 days away will be my 9th week! And Friday, which is 3 days away will be my first appointment with the gynae!! Second kid but still exciting ya...
What I feel this week:
1. My nausea is improving. At least my tongue doesn't taste so bitter anymore nowadays. But my sickness still comes between afternoon to evening. Which still causes lack of appetite.
2. My tummy starts to bulge. Unlike my first one which I can bear my zippered pants till 4monthz, this time it's unbearable. I need to get into those maternity pants quick!
3. I am still having trouble keeping milk, yogurt, and plain water down. Now I take tea. Diluted tea no sugar. The GP said if that's the only way I can hydrate myself then I have no choice. Hopefully it'll be be over before I know it.
4. The more I progress with this pregnancy the more I find the trip to the toilet to be unpleasant. It feels so miserable!
5. Constipation. Yes!!! My old problem is back to haunt me. I pooed once every 3 days! Lucky it was never painful. Just the beginning was a bit hard.
6. Vaginal discharge. Lots and lots and lotss.. Mostly it was sticky, yellowish, watery, sometimes gel like. Not itchy just bothersome having that wet feeling down there. I need to bring spare panties to the office!!
That's about it I guess. Will record what happens after my first visit on Friday. Can't wait!!! ❤❤
What I feel this week:
1. My nausea is improving. At least my tongue doesn't taste so bitter anymore nowadays. But my sickness still comes between afternoon to evening. Which still causes lack of appetite.
2. My tummy starts to bulge. Unlike my first one which I can bear my zippered pants till 4monthz, this time it's unbearable. I need to get into those maternity pants quick!
3. I am still having trouble keeping milk, yogurt, and plain water down. Now I take tea. Diluted tea no sugar. The GP said if that's the only way I can hydrate myself then I have no choice. Hopefully it'll be be over before I know it.
4. The more I progress with this pregnancy the more I find the trip to the toilet to be unpleasant. It feels so miserable!
5. Constipation. Yes!!! My old problem is back to haunt me. I pooed once every 3 days! Lucky it was never painful. Just the beginning was a bit hard.
6. Vaginal discharge. Lots and lots and lotss.. Mostly it was sticky, yellowish, watery, sometimes gel like. Not itchy just bothersome having that wet feeling down there. I need to bring spare panties to the office!!
That's about it I guess. Will record what happens after my first visit on Friday. Can't wait!!! ❤❤
Friday, April 20, 2012
Tribute to Ayah
I always complained of how my husband always work and did not put family first until I read an article. That a husband always shed invisible tears. Maybe because I just married for a few years I don't really realize it. But I'll remember it for years to come. I copy paste it from here.
Tahukah anda, kaum pria sesungguhnya jauh lebih sering "menangis". Namun mereka menyembunyikan tangisnya di dalam kekuatan akalnya, Itulah mengapa Tuhan menyebutkan bahwa pada pria, terdapat dua kali lipat akal seorang wanita, dan itulah sebabnya, mengapa tiada yang anda lihat selain ketegarannya.
Pria menangis karena tanggung jawabnya di hadapan Tuhan.
Ia menjadi tonggak penyangga rumah tangga.
Menjadi pengawal Tuhan bagi Ibu, saudara perempuan, istri dan anak-anaknya.
Maka tangisnya tak pernah nampak di bening matanya.
Tangis pria adalah pada keringat yang bercucuran demi menafkahi keluarganya.
Tak bisa anda lihat tangisnya pada keluh kesah di lisannya.
Pria "menangis" dalam letih dan lelahnya menjaga keluarganya dari kelaparan.
Tak dapat anda dengar tangisnya pada omelan-omelan di bibirnya.
Pria "menangis" dalam tegak dan teguhnya dalam melindungi keluarganya dari terik matahari, deras hujan dan dinginnnya angin malam.
Tak nampak tangisnya pada peristiwa-peristiwa kecil dan sepele.
Pria "menangis" dalam kemarahannya jika kehormatan diri dan keluarganya digugat.
Pria "menangis" dengan sigap bangunnya di kegelapan dini hari.
Pria "menangis" dengan bercucuran peluhnya dalam menjemput rezeki. Pria "menangis" dengan menjaga dan melindungi orang tua, anak dan istri.
Pria "menangis" dengan tenaga dan darahnya menjadi garda bagi agamanya.
Namun, pria pun sungguh-sungguh menangis dengan air matanya, di kesendiriannya menyadari tanggung jawabnya yang besar di hadapan Tuhan.
Maka....
Pandanglah Ayah. Pandanglah Suami.
Sebab, Surga juga ada di mereka
Jadi inget si ayah jauh-jauh ke Jakarta buat ngerjain proyek. Gw rasa kalo ada pekerjaan lain beliau mau aja stay di sini buat selalu bareng keluarga. Kalo bisa nolak gw rasa beliau bakal menolak untuk pergi ke Jakarta. Tapi kalo mau rumah terus dibayarin, asuransi terus terbayar, ya harus berangkat. Sekarang kita lagi berusaha mencari pekerjaan lain yang setidaknya lebih menjanjikan. InsyaAllah rejeki segera datang ya.
Di Jakarta juga tiap pagi bangun jam 5 pagi buat berangkat ke kantor. Kadang langsung ke kapal. Pernah turun kapal jam 9malam. Jarang di kantor ongkang-ongkang kaki, sering lembur, di rumah harus angkat telepon dari kapal kapanpun. Belum lagi harus menghadapi istri yang demanding minta ditelepon dan manja minta macem-macem nun jauh disana. Sekarang hamil ngidam macem-macem minta martabak manis. Martabak ketinggalan istri ngamuk-ngamuk.
Terus inget bapak, dari dulu pengorbanannya besar sekali. Mengurus ibu, cari pengobatan buat ibu, mendidik anak-anak seorang diri. Tetap harus bekerja, mencari nafkah, sampai rumah tetap harus mendidik anak-anaknya. Berusaha sekuat tenaganya agar kami tumbuh jadi anak-anak yang berbakti dan tidak terjerumus hal-hal kurang baik, menanamkan prinsip-prinsip hidup yang terus jadi peganganku hingga hari ini. Mungkin setiap kemarahan yang dulu selalu terlontar dari mulutnya adalah tangisan tersedu-sedu seorang ayah. Tidak pernah sekalipun kulihat bapak menangis, semua dihadapinya dengan tegar. Buatku dulu bapak terlalu kaku, ini tidak boleh itu tidak boleh. Setiap kali dia memarahiku diakhiri dengan kata-kata, "Suatu hari nanti kamu akan mengerti."Aku harus menikah dulu lalu punya anak baru aku mengerti.
Benar kata tulisan diatas, Surga bukan hanya ada di telapak kaki ibu, namun ada juga di tangan ayah :)
Tahukah anda, kaum pria sesungguhnya jauh lebih sering "menangis". Namun mereka menyembunyikan tangisnya di dalam kekuatan akalnya, Itulah mengapa Tuhan menyebutkan bahwa pada pria, terdapat dua kali lipat akal seorang wanita, dan itulah sebabnya, mengapa tiada yang anda lihat selain ketegarannya.
Pria menangis karena tanggung jawabnya di hadapan Tuhan.
Ia menjadi tonggak penyangga rumah tangga.
Menjadi pengawal Tuhan bagi Ibu, saudara perempuan, istri dan anak-anaknya.
Maka tangisnya tak pernah nampak di bening matanya.
Tangis pria adalah pada keringat yang bercucuran demi menafkahi keluarganya.
Tak bisa anda lihat tangisnya pada keluh kesah di lisannya.
Pria "menangis" dalam letih dan lelahnya menjaga keluarganya dari kelaparan.
Tak dapat anda dengar tangisnya pada omelan-omelan di bibirnya.
Pria "menangis" dalam tegak dan teguhnya dalam melindungi keluarganya dari terik matahari, deras hujan dan dinginnnya angin malam.
Tak nampak tangisnya pada peristiwa-peristiwa kecil dan sepele.
Pria "menangis" dalam kemarahannya jika kehormatan diri dan keluarganya digugat.
Pria "menangis" dengan sigap bangunnya di kegelapan dini hari.
Pria "menangis" dengan bercucuran peluhnya dalam menjemput rezeki. Pria "menangis" dengan menjaga dan melindungi orang tua, anak dan istri.
Pria "menangis" dengan tenaga dan darahnya menjadi garda bagi agamanya.
Namun, pria pun sungguh-sungguh menangis dengan air matanya, di kesendiriannya menyadari tanggung jawabnya yang besar di hadapan Tuhan.
Maka....
Pandanglah Ayah. Pandanglah Suami.
Sebab, Surga juga ada di mereka
Jadi inget si ayah jauh-jauh ke Jakarta buat ngerjain proyek. Gw rasa kalo ada pekerjaan lain beliau mau aja stay di sini buat selalu bareng keluarga. Kalo bisa nolak gw rasa beliau bakal menolak untuk pergi ke Jakarta. Tapi kalo mau rumah terus dibayarin, asuransi terus terbayar, ya harus berangkat. Sekarang kita lagi berusaha mencari pekerjaan lain yang setidaknya lebih menjanjikan. InsyaAllah rejeki segera datang ya.
Di Jakarta juga tiap pagi bangun jam 5 pagi buat berangkat ke kantor. Kadang langsung ke kapal. Pernah turun kapal jam 9malam. Jarang di kantor ongkang-ongkang kaki, sering lembur, di rumah harus angkat telepon dari kapal kapanpun. Belum lagi harus menghadapi istri yang demanding minta ditelepon dan manja minta macem-macem nun jauh disana. Sekarang hamil ngidam macem-macem minta martabak manis. Martabak ketinggalan istri ngamuk-ngamuk.
Terus inget bapak, dari dulu pengorbanannya besar sekali. Mengurus ibu, cari pengobatan buat ibu, mendidik anak-anak seorang diri. Tetap harus bekerja, mencari nafkah, sampai rumah tetap harus mendidik anak-anaknya. Berusaha sekuat tenaganya agar kami tumbuh jadi anak-anak yang berbakti dan tidak terjerumus hal-hal kurang baik, menanamkan prinsip-prinsip hidup yang terus jadi peganganku hingga hari ini. Mungkin setiap kemarahan yang dulu selalu terlontar dari mulutnya adalah tangisan tersedu-sedu seorang ayah. Tidak pernah sekalipun kulihat bapak menangis, semua dihadapinya dengan tegar. Buatku dulu bapak terlalu kaku, ini tidak boleh itu tidak boleh. Setiap kali dia memarahiku diakhiri dengan kata-kata, "Suatu hari nanti kamu akan mengerti."Aku harus menikah dulu lalu punya anak baru aku mengerti.
Benar kata tulisan diatas, Surga bukan hanya ada di telapak kaki ibu, namun ada juga di tangan ayah :)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
A self Reminder
No matter what happens later in life... I shall laugh at it and have fun with it. Nothing in life was ever going to be always great and smooth. There will always be bitter moments, flawed moments, moments of mistake, moments of unexpected events. It's like work, when there's a problem, me and my team will just laugh at it and work it out. Instead of looking for someone to blame, cause it solves NOTHING.
Life is work. An everlasting work. Marriage needs work, a work that takes time to perfection. When there's a problem, my team will smile at it and work it out. That is how problems are solved. I don't want to live my life keeps on cursing my fate and frown at others' happiness.
If I don't have a partner to solve it with me, I always have a manager to guide me to get through it. It's just that.. well, this manager, you gotta have more faith. But I would never be alone. I want to choose to be happy for what I am, what I have, and what I have become. Allah doesn't make us all different just to make us live the same life. Someone's gotta be lucky while others not so lucky.
Happy is not a state of money of success. Happy is a state of mind. When you're happy, you're strong, you're capable, you're everything! So be happy Wij!!
Life is work. An everlasting work. Marriage needs work, a work that takes time to perfection. When there's a problem, my team will smile at it and work it out. That is how problems are solved. I don't want to live my life keeps on cursing my fate and frown at others' happiness.
If I don't have a partner to solve it with me, I always have a manager to guide me to get through it. It's just that.. well, this manager, you gotta have more faith. But I would never be alone. I want to choose to be happy for what I am, what I have, and what I have become. Allah doesn't make us all different just to make us live the same life. Someone's gotta be lucky while others not so lucky.
Happy is not a state of money of success. Happy is a state of mind. When you're happy, you're strong, you're capable, you're everything! So be happy Wij!!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Week 8
One morning I woke up and found my morning sickness was gone!!! To later find out that it only decided to switch timing. Now my sickness comes at noon and all the burping continues til night.
No pregnancy shall be the same. I guess this is true enough for me. Remembering my first pregnancy, for this second one I try my best not to overexert myself.
By the way, in this very early stage my tummy has already started to bulge. So some of my friends have already asked around.. Not to mention my multiple visits to the toilet and the sound of puking when I'm inside. Last time when I puked I seriously puked my insides out. Now my puking is just to let out all those gases and acids building up.
The previous one no smell can bother me. Now when I go to the toilet and there is an awful stench I immediately puked. Even the bitter taste of my mouth makes me always want to brush my teeth.
I can't take chicken, love fish, ok with beef, no indian food this time. Haha. Fruits and veggies are fine. But I can't drink warm water. It makes me nauseous. So I only drink ice water. Can only take nasi pecel! Most of the time I eat noodles, not so much on rice.
Baby you're definitely Indonesian. I'll be seeing the doc on the 27. Still another 2 weeks -__-. Hope all's well til then!! :D
No pregnancy shall be the same. I guess this is true enough for me. Remembering my first pregnancy, for this second one I try my best not to overexert myself.
By the way, in this very early stage my tummy has already started to bulge. So some of my friends have already asked around.. Not to mention my multiple visits to the toilet and the sound of puking when I'm inside. Last time when I puked I seriously puked my insides out. Now my puking is just to let out all those gases and acids building up.
The previous one no smell can bother me. Now when I go to the toilet and there is an awful stench I immediately puked. Even the bitter taste of my mouth makes me always want to brush my teeth.
I can't take chicken, love fish, ok with beef, no indian food this time. Haha. Fruits and veggies are fine. But I can't drink warm water. It makes me nauseous. So I only drink ice water. Can only take nasi pecel! Most of the time I eat noodles, not so much on rice.
Baby you're definitely Indonesian. I'll be seeing the doc on the 27. Still another 2 weeks -__-. Hope all's well til then!! :D
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