Thursday, which is 2 days away will be my 9th week! And Friday, which is 3 days away will be my first appointment with the gynae!! Second kid but still exciting ya...
What I feel this week:
1. My nausea is improving. At least my tongue doesn't taste so bitter anymore nowadays. But my sickness still comes between afternoon to evening. Which still causes lack of appetite.
2. My tummy starts to bulge. Unlike my first one which I can bear my zippered pants till 4monthz, this time it's unbearable. I need to get into those maternity pants quick!
3. I am still having trouble keeping milk, yogurt, and plain water down. Now I take tea. Diluted tea no sugar. The GP said if that's the only way I can hydrate myself then I have no choice. Hopefully it'll be be over before I know it.
4. The more I progress with this pregnancy the more I find the trip to the toilet to be unpleasant. It feels so miserable!
5. Constipation. Yes!!! My old problem is back to haunt me. I pooed once every 3 days! Lucky it was never painful. Just the beginning was a bit hard.
6. Vaginal discharge. Lots and lots and lotss.. Mostly it was sticky, yellowish, watery, sometimes gel like. Not itchy just bothersome having that wet feeling down there. I need to bring spare panties to the office!!
That's about it I guess. Will record what happens after my first visit on Friday. Can't wait!!! ❤❤
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Friday, April 20, 2012
Tribute to Ayah
I always complained of how my husband always work and did not put family first until I read an article. That a husband always shed invisible tears. Maybe because I just married for a few years I don't really realize it. But I'll remember it for years to come. I copy paste it from here.
Tahukah anda, kaum pria sesungguhnya jauh lebih sering "menangis". Namun mereka menyembunyikan tangisnya di dalam kekuatan akalnya, Itulah mengapa Tuhan menyebutkan bahwa pada pria, terdapat dua kali lipat akal seorang wanita, dan itulah sebabnya, mengapa tiada yang anda lihat selain ketegarannya.
Pria menangis karena tanggung jawabnya di hadapan Tuhan.
Ia menjadi tonggak penyangga rumah tangga.
Menjadi pengawal Tuhan bagi Ibu, saudara perempuan, istri dan anak-anaknya.
Maka tangisnya tak pernah nampak di bening matanya.
Tangis pria adalah pada keringat yang bercucuran demi menafkahi keluarganya.
Tak bisa anda lihat tangisnya pada keluh kesah di lisannya.
Pria "menangis" dalam letih dan lelahnya menjaga keluarganya dari kelaparan.
Tak dapat anda dengar tangisnya pada omelan-omelan di bibirnya.
Pria "menangis" dalam tegak dan teguhnya dalam melindungi keluarganya dari terik matahari, deras hujan dan dinginnnya angin malam.
Tak nampak tangisnya pada peristiwa-peristiwa kecil dan sepele.
Pria "menangis" dalam kemarahannya jika kehormatan diri dan keluarganya digugat.
Pria "menangis" dengan sigap bangunnya di kegelapan dini hari.
Pria "menangis" dengan bercucuran peluhnya dalam menjemput rezeki. Pria "menangis" dengan menjaga dan melindungi orang tua, anak dan istri.
Pria "menangis" dengan tenaga dan darahnya menjadi garda bagi agamanya.
Namun, pria pun sungguh-sungguh menangis dengan air matanya, di kesendiriannya menyadari tanggung jawabnya yang besar di hadapan Tuhan.
Maka....
Pandanglah Ayah. Pandanglah Suami.
Sebab, Surga juga ada di mereka
Jadi inget si ayah jauh-jauh ke Jakarta buat ngerjain proyek. Gw rasa kalo ada pekerjaan lain beliau mau aja stay di sini buat selalu bareng keluarga. Kalo bisa nolak gw rasa beliau bakal menolak untuk pergi ke Jakarta. Tapi kalo mau rumah terus dibayarin, asuransi terus terbayar, ya harus berangkat. Sekarang kita lagi berusaha mencari pekerjaan lain yang setidaknya lebih menjanjikan. InsyaAllah rejeki segera datang ya.
Di Jakarta juga tiap pagi bangun jam 5 pagi buat berangkat ke kantor. Kadang langsung ke kapal. Pernah turun kapal jam 9malam. Jarang di kantor ongkang-ongkang kaki, sering lembur, di rumah harus angkat telepon dari kapal kapanpun. Belum lagi harus menghadapi istri yang demanding minta ditelepon dan manja minta macem-macem nun jauh disana. Sekarang hamil ngidam macem-macem minta martabak manis. Martabak ketinggalan istri ngamuk-ngamuk.
Terus inget bapak, dari dulu pengorbanannya besar sekali. Mengurus ibu, cari pengobatan buat ibu, mendidik anak-anak seorang diri. Tetap harus bekerja, mencari nafkah, sampai rumah tetap harus mendidik anak-anaknya. Berusaha sekuat tenaganya agar kami tumbuh jadi anak-anak yang berbakti dan tidak terjerumus hal-hal kurang baik, menanamkan prinsip-prinsip hidup yang terus jadi peganganku hingga hari ini. Mungkin setiap kemarahan yang dulu selalu terlontar dari mulutnya adalah tangisan tersedu-sedu seorang ayah. Tidak pernah sekalipun kulihat bapak menangis, semua dihadapinya dengan tegar. Buatku dulu bapak terlalu kaku, ini tidak boleh itu tidak boleh. Setiap kali dia memarahiku diakhiri dengan kata-kata, "Suatu hari nanti kamu akan mengerti."Aku harus menikah dulu lalu punya anak baru aku mengerti.
Benar kata tulisan diatas, Surga bukan hanya ada di telapak kaki ibu, namun ada juga di tangan ayah :)
Tahukah anda, kaum pria sesungguhnya jauh lebih sering "menangis". Namun mereka menyembunyikan tangisnya di dalam kekuatan akalnya, Itulah mengapa Tuhan menyebutkan bahwa pada pria, terdapat dua kali lipat akal seorang wanita, dan itulah sebabnya, mengapa tiada yang anda lihat selain ketegarannya.
Pria menangis karena tanggung jawabnya di hadapan Tuhan.
Ia menjadi tonggak penyangga rumah tangga.
Menjadi pengawal Tuhan bagi Ibu, saudara perempuan, istri dan anak-anaknya.
Maka tangisnya tak pernah nampak di bening matanya.
Tangis pria adalah pada keringat yang bercucuran demi menafkahi keluarganya.
Tak bisa anda lihat tangisnya pada keluh kesah di lisannya.
Pria "menangis" dalam letih dan lelahnya menjaga keluarganya dari kelaparan.
Tak dapat anda dengar tangisnya pada omelan-omelan di bibirnya.
Pria "menangis" dalam tegak dan teguhnya dalam melindungi keluarganya dari terik matahari, deras hujan dan dinginnnya angin malam.
Tak nampak tangisnya pada peristiwa-peristiwa kecil dan sepele.
Pria "menangis" dalam kemarahannya jika kehormatan diri dan keluarganya digugat.
Pria "menangis" dengan sigap bangunnya di kegelapan dini hari.
Pria "menangis" dengan bercucuran peluhnya dalam menjemput rezeki. Pria "menangis" dengan menjaga dan melindungi orang tua, anak dan istri.
Pria "menangis" dengan tenaga dan darahnya menjadi garda bagi agamanya.
Namun, pria pun sungguh-sungguh menangis dengan air matanya, di kesendiriannya menyadari tanggung jawabnya yang besar di hadapan Tuhan.
Maka....
Pandanglah Ayah. Pandanglah Suami.
Sebab, Surga juga ada di mereka
Jadi inget si ayah jauh-jauh ke Jakarta buat ngerjain proyek. Gw rasa kalo ada pekerjaan lain beliau mau aja stay di sini buat selalu bareng keluarga. Kalo bisa nolak gw rasa beliau bakal menolak untuk pergi ke Jakarta. Tapi kalo mau rumah terus dibayarin, asuransi terus terbayar, ya harus berangkat. Sekarang kita lagi berusaha mencari pekerjaan lain yang setidaknya lebih menjanjikan. InsyaAllah rejeki segera datang ya.
Di Jakarta juga tiap pagi bangun jam 5 pagi buat berangkat ke kantor. Kadang langsung ke kapal. Pernah turun kapal jam 9malam. Jarang di kantor ongkang-ongkang kaki, sering lembur, di rumah harus angkat telepon dari kapal kapanpun. Belum lagi harus menghadapi istri yang demanding minta ditelepon dan manja minta macem-macem nun jauh disana. Sekarang hamil ngidam macem-macem minta martabak manis. Martabak ketinggalan istri ngamuk-ngamuk.
Terus inget bapak, dari dulu pengorbanannya besar sekali. Mengurus ibu, cari pengobatan buat ibu, mendidik anak-anak seorang diri. Tetap harus bekerja, mencari nafkah, sampai rumah tetap harus mendidik anak-anaknya. Berusaha sekuat tenaganya agar kami tumbuh jadi anak-anak yang berbakti dan tidak terjerumus hal-hal kurang baik, menanamkan prinsip-prinsip hidup yang terus jadi peganganku hingga hari ini. Mungkin setiap kemarahan yang dulu selalu terlontar dari mulutnya adalah tangisan tersedu-sedu seorang ayah. Tidak pernah sekalipun kulihat bapak menangis, semua dihadapinya dengan tegar. Buatku dulu bapak terlalu kaku, ini tidak boleh itu tidak boleh. Setiap kali dia memarahiku diakhiri dengan kata-kata, "Suatu hari nanti kamu akan mengerti."Aku harus menikah dulu lalu punya anak baru aku mengerti.
Benar kata tulisan diatas, Surga bukan hanya ada di telapak kaki ibu, namun ada juga di tangan ayah :)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
A self Reminder
No matter what happens later in life... I shall laugh at it and have fun with it. Nothing in life was ever going to be always great and smooth. There will always be bitter moments, flawed moments, moments of mistake, moments of unexpected events. It's like work, when there's a problem, me and my team will just laugh at it and work it out. Instead of looking for someone to blame, cause it solves NOTHING.
Life is work. An everlasting work. Marriage needs work, a work that takes time to perfection. When there's a problem, my team will smile at it and work it out. That is how problems are solved. I don't want to live my life keeps on cursing my fate and frown at others' happiness.
If I don't have a partner to solve it with me, I always have a manager to guide me to get through it. It's just that.. well, this manager, you gotta have more faith. But I would never be alone. I want to choose to be happy for what I am, what I have, and what I have become. Allah doesn't make us all different just to make us live the same life. Someone's gotta be lucky while others not so lucky.
Happy is not a state of money of success. Happy is a state of mind. When you're happy, you're strong, you're capable, you're everything! So be happy Wij!!
Life is work. An everlasting work. Marriage needs work, a work that takes time to perfection. When there's a problem, my team will smile at it and work it out. That is how problems are solved. I don't want to live my life keeps on cursing my fate and frown at others' happiness.
If I don't have a partner to solve it with me, I always have a manager to guide me to get through it. It's just that.. well, this manager, you gotta have more faith. But I would never be alone. I want to choose to be happy for what I am, what I have, and what I have become. Allah doesn't make us all different just to make us live the same life. Someone's gotta be lucky while others not so lucky.
Happy is not a state of money of success. Happy is a state of mind. When you're happy, you're strong, you're capable, you're everything! So be happy Wij!!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Week 8
One morning I woke up and found my morning sickness was gone!!! To later find out that it only decided to switch timing. Now my sickness comes at noon and all the burping continues til night.
No pregnancy shall be the same. I guess this is true enough for me. Remembering my first pregnancy, for this second one I try my best not to overexert myself.
By the way, in this very early stage my tummy has already started to bulge. So some of my friends have already asked around.. Not to mention my multiple visits to the toilet and the sound of puking when I'm inside. Last time when I puked I seriously puked my insides out. Now my puking is just to let out all those gases and acids building up.
The previous one no smell can bother me. Now when I go to the toilet and there is an awful stench I immediately puked. Even the bitter taste of my mouth makes me always want to brush my teeth.
I can't take chicken, love fish, ok with beef, no indian food this time. Haha. Fruits and veggies are fine. But I can't drink warm water. It makes me nauseous. So I only drink ice water. Can only take nasi pecel! Most of the time I eat noodles, not so much on rice.
Baby you're definitely Indonesian. I'll be seeing the doc on the 27. Still another 2 weeks -__-. Hope all's well til then!! :D
No pregnancy shall be the same. I guess this is true enough for me. Remembering my first pregnancy, for this second one I try my best not to overexert myself.
By the way, in this very early stage my tummy has already started to bulge. So some of my friends have already asked around.. Not to mention my multiple visits to the toilet and the sound of puking when I'm inside. Last time when I puked I seriously puked my insides out. Now my puking is just to let out all those gases and acids building up.
The previous one no smell can bother me. Now when I go to the toilet and there is an awful stench I immediately puked. Even the bitter taste of my mouth makes me always want to brush my teeth.
I can't take chicken, love fish, ok with beef, no indian food this time. Haha. Fruits and veggies are fine. But I can't drink warm water. It makes me nauseous. So I only drink ice water. Can only take nasi pecel! Most of the time I eat noodles, not so much on rice.
Baby you're definitely Indonesian. I'll be seeing the doc on the 27. Still another 2 weeks -__-. Hope all's well til then!! :D
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Kemandirian
Selama ini gw kira gw sudah cukup mandiri. Ternyata belum. Gw masih terus menerus berharap suami gw bakal bahu membahu sama gw buat bareng-bareng ngajarin anak, gantian mendidik ini itu. Gw masih berharap dia lebih sering ada di rumah untuk mengisi kekosongan gw dalam mendidik. Gw masih menunggu dia settle di rumah. Melihat jalur karir suami gw dan tabiatnya, I think it's not happening in the near future.
Jadi gw memutuskan, I will do everything myself. Maybe it's fated, maybe he never thought that it's his job too. Gw cape nungguin dia pulang cuma buat pisah kasur sama Asha, potty training Asha. Ketika dia pulang biasanya cuma wiken, itupun waktu habis buat jalan-jalan, benerin yang rusak di rumah dan cari-cari titipan. I AM FED UP.
Jadi daripada gw menyesali nasib gw yang harus jadi orangtua tunggal (secara fisik dan mental) mendingan gw bikin program apa saja target hal-hal yang harus gw tekankan ke Asha sebelum umur 3thn. Daripada gw sirik sama ibu-ibu yang suka blogging tentang betapa terlibatnya suami sama perkembangan anaknya, lebih baik gw konsentrasi sama perkembangan anak gw yang bisa sama meski tanpa keterlibatan suami. Bukan berarti ga sayang suami juga. Cuma gw berpikir mungkin nanti akan datang masanya dan rejeki gw dia bakal lebih sering di rumah. Namun kapan saat itu tiba juga gw ga tau kan.
Gw ga tau sih entah dia tau ato ga ya gw sesungguhnya cape mengurus rumah tangga sendirian. Alhamdulillah msh ada pembantu yg membantu beberes rumah dan urus Asha. Tapi terkadang laki-laki sering berpikir mereka harus bekerja untuk cari duit and that's it. Jadi ya sudahlah, let it be. All I wanted is equality in marriage, and I get more than what I asked.
Jadi gw memutuskan, I will do everything myself. Maybe it's fated, maybe he never thought that it's his job too. Gw cape nungguin dia pulang cuma buat pisah kasur sama Asha, potty training Asha. Ketika dia pulang biasanya cuma wiken, itupun waktu habis buat jalan-jalan, benerin yang rusak di rumah dan cari-cari titipan. I AM FED UP.
Jadi daripada gw menyesali nasib gw yang harus jadi orangtua tunggal (secara fisik dan mental) mendingan gw bikin program apa saja target hal-hal yang harus gw tekankan ke Asha sebelum umur 3thn. Daripada gw sirik sama ibu-ibu yang suka blogging tentang betapa terlibatnya suami sama perkembangan anaknya, lebih baik gw konsentrasi sama perkembangan anak gw yang bisa sama meski tanpa keterlibatan suami. Bukan berarti ga sayang suami juga. Cuma gw berpikir mungkin nanti akan datang masanya dan rejeki gw dia bakal lebih sering di rumah. Namun kapan saat itu tiba juga gw ga tau kan.
Gw ga tau sih entah dia tau ato ga ya gw sesungguhnya cape mengurus rumah tangga sendirian. Alhamdulillah msh ada pembantu yg membantu beberes rumah dan urus Asha. Tapi terkadang laki-laki sering berpikir mereka harus bekerja untuk cari duit and that's it. Jadi ya sudahlah, let it be. All I wanted is equality in marriage, and I get more than what I asked.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Old Friend
I have an old friend. We used to share the same passion, our conversations connected and he was a very good friend to talk to, especially regarding work. But I guess he changed I changed. He became career minded, money minded, while I remained knowledge minded, and not so much for the money. He said he has family to think about, but that is no excuse to forget your passion. Once you start to work for money, forever you'll be enslaved by it.
I grew up in a family where money is just a necessity to live comfortably. My father didn't raise us to work for money but rather to do what we love and getting paid sufficiently. I too never dreamed of being super rich with super powers, I just love to learn so many new things. Maybe this is why I've never been a money minded person. I never lived poor, always sufficient, so for me it was never an issue. It's easy for me to live by passion. Not so easy on others.
So I guess we have gone our separate ways. There he goes chasing his career and here I am still pursuing as many things possible. I pray me or my husband will never be enslaved by money. I pray that forever our money will be enough but not too much to make us live too lavish and blind us.
More money means you have more share in it for the unfortunate. :). Even Rasulullah himself has nothing and he is more holy than any other person in the world. To have a good family you don't have to be rich, you only have to be grateful and make the most of it.
I grew up in a family where money is just a necessity to live comfortably. My father didn't raise us to work for money but rather to do what we love and getting paid sufficiently. I too never dreamed of being super rich with super powers, I just love to learn so many new things. Maybe this is why I've never been a money minded person. I never lived poor, always sufficient, so for me it was never an issue. It's easy for me to live by passion. Not so easy on others.
So I guess we have gone our separate ways. There he goes chasing his career and here I am still pursuing as many things possible. I pray me or my husband will never be enslaved by money. I pray that forever our money will be enough but not too much to make us live too lavish and blind us.
More money means you have more share in it for the unfortunate. :). Even Rasulullah himself has nothing and he is more holy than any other person in the world. To have a good family you don't have to be rich, you only have to be grateful and make the most of it.
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